ImSoTired

Apparently I don't have a doctor anymore - he moved to another city a couple weeks ago and no one told me. And I probably don't have a therapist anymore either after this morning (see previous post). That's too much for one day.

I just looked through all these mental health resources that are allegedly available in my area, but I don't qualify for most of them and nothing I do qualify for provides anything more than "information sheets" or crisis services. What if you're in between those two extremes and just need help and support? What am I supposed to do?

I'm just so tired.

I moved back to my home country 2 years ago so that I could access mental health supports in my own language and that were accessible with my insurance. It turns out mental health services here aren't very well resourced (and therefore lacking) and Covid shut down so much that I just feel at a loss.

How am I in basically the same place I was two years ago after trying so hard to access services and get the help I needed? Is this just what it's like? Should I just expect to never get the support I need and just muddle through for the rest of my life? That just makes me feel even worse.

#MentalHealth #CheckInWithMe #Doctor #Therapist #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #tired #ImSoTired #alone #Helpplease

So here goes. I've suffered from anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts for 20 years. I finally hit rock bottom a couple of months ago and had to white knuckle it to work to keep my car on the road. I have two beautiful daughters that I can't take away their mother. I can't cause them that pain. I was hospitalized and started the right medication instead of my PCP throwing things at me the meds help. A lot. I can get out of bed, I could go back to work , but it's been 2 months since I came out of the hospital and my mind still won't be quiet. I keep wanting to not be here to have some force other than me to take me out so I can have quiet and rest, but not have to do it myself. No one understands that...I'm hoping someone here will. I'm just so tired of fighting my own mind.
#Depression #Anxiety #ImSoTired #Idontwanttobehereanymore

I got out of bed today. Not because I wanted too but because I need to. I basically have enough energy to get dressed and go to work. Then I come home and want to crawl back into bed. Everything irritates me. Some days it takes all I have to get out of my chair and shower. I need time off from life. I need some affection. I need someone to just sit with me, hold me and let me cry. No one at my house seems to help me. No one does any chores or cleaning or cooking. I need someone to just help me

Next week I will be heading to Rochester to undergo my 3rd back surgery.. it’s will be 3 years in December since I broke my back in an ATV accident.
I have dealt with chronic pain the entire time. I hate taking narcotics, but I literally can not function if I don’t take them. This 3rd surgery will be to remove my rods and screws (my back is healed, the 4 vertebrae that were broken are finally healed)
I’m just hoping you guys can all keep me in your thoughts and prayers on October 16th! Please pray that this surgery that will help tremendously with my pain! I will be 47 in December, I have a lot of life to live and I do not want to live like I am right now for the remainder of my time in this earth. I have kids and grand babies to spoil..
Thank you in advance to everyone on here that takes the time to read this post!!
#ChronicPain #Depression ##ImSoTired
Chris