What's the point of trying?
What's the point of trying?
I was doing good for so long I was getting healthy putting back on my weight and I was feeling happy. But now my dad left again, my boyfriend is ignoring me, my mom is getting stressed out a lot,and im getting bullied again. I thought I wouldn't relapse but I did I barely have the will to get out of bed anymore I eat so my mom doesn't worry then i just puke it up when she goes to bed. I am losing my weight rapidly again, my cheeks are already sinking my eyes have bags that look like old black eyes, my stomach is constantly in pain and i can barely stand up half the time.
I'm sorry to those of you who thought I could get better I tried...
Just feel like I’m completely useless to everyone. I can never sleep and my tablets make my groggy in a morning, I struggle so my partner helps, he gets up a lot but I do get up too and let him sleep him. My mum thinks I’m useless, can see her face when I walk in the room she just looks angry. My heart is racing and I’m sweating and trying not to cry. They just think I don’t do shit and she’s coming to check up on us to make sure I’m doing my sons school work with him. Of course I am I just fucking struggle in a morning. I’m not as regimented as you so I’m sorry I’m sorry I can’t do everything like you do, I’m sorry I’m not exactly how you want me to be. I just want to be the best I can be and I’m failing constantly. Why do I even bother? They’d all be better if I wasn’t here. Maybe it’s like I’m not here anyway, because I’m just lazy and useless. Sometimes it’s like I’m invisible and life is just carrying on around me.
I feel so shit and just like I’m spiralling.
I can’t do anything right
The feeling of being overlooked completely in every way possible that matters at that point, or that would validate someone who is feeling without purpose just that....these are things I’m longing a purpose, to not be overlooked and dismissed.....but, maybe that’s my own fault
what avice do you guys have about getting a job?
im 25 and ive never had a job. i volenteer alot and i have a nice looking resume and all that. ive gone on indeed and ive applyed to over 98 different places and i havent had any job interviews. im legally blind and cant drive other then that you'd never know that i have any issues. it seems like im just wasting my time at this point and i need to reachout to someone. im really deperate because i have found that my selfesteam and confidence is directly linked to feeling that im helping or that im needed.
there are no employment agencys where i live and alot of them seem to be a waste of time aswell they have part time work one day a week everyother week, type work. im now at a loss as to why i never get called back or why its so hard to actually find work when i see these burnt out druggies and alcohalics getting high paying jobs from week to week like its nothing. i just bully the crap out of myself telling myself all these negitive things about myself as reasons why i didnt get called back. i just begining to hurt inside and feel unwanted.
feeling invisible #Whatsthepoint
feel like there is no point in me being here, no idea why my partner wanted me back, he was having loads of fun with other people while we were broken up and now we’re back together he just wants to stay in.
we never go anywhere, just sit in, he went out with her, took her places, I’m obviously just fucking nothing and not worth the time or effort. he’d rather spend all day cleaning and doing shit round the house, feels like he’s just avoiding me at all costs.
why did he want this?
just feel like I’m on my own just sat there all the time, might aswell get in my car and fuck off, doubt anyone would even notice I was gone.
Lonely and lost
My husband has been in a deep depression for about 3 years now. He refuses to see it... so he hasn’t done anything about it. I’ve suffered my own anxiety and depression for most of my life and, as you know, it’s exhausting. Our marriage has suffered and I’m not sure we’ll pull through this one. We’re both basically alone - not together at all, even though we’re in the same house.
I’m tired. I’m tired of tiptoeing and not living. I’m tired of being sad and lonely all the time and just trying to make it through day by day. I don’t know what to do.
This whole idea of going at it day by day and one step at a time does not work for me - it just makes me question “why???” What’s the point?
I guess that’s what I’m asking: what’s the point?
#Loneliness #Depression #Whatsthepoint