Cananyonerelate

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Late night thoughts (can anyone relate)

I am finding it difficult tonight. I had my therapy session today. During the session i tried explaining my therapist (whom i love the most in this world apart from my family) what was troubling me during the course of the week. But unfortunately i couldn't explain anything other than saying "i found it difficult" and i don't think i helped her enough so that she could understand my problem. She is the best therapist anyone could ever ask for and i feel like i let her down. I even got angry at her and started pushing her away (BPD traits were so apparent).

So when thinking of what happened i don't actually understand what is going on in my mind. I dunno how to explain it in words what's troubling me. All i know is that i get thoughts and feelings that makes it impossible for me to hold on. Maybe its the flashbacks.. Maybe its my past.. Maybe its the way i treat my wonderful family.. Maybe i am overwhelmed with my lesson plans. But No! I feel like i am missing something. I dunno what that is.. I don't know what's bothering and troubling me. But i know that it is eating me alive. The pain induced, the worry that comes along with it cannot be undone. My chest hurts and head aches when i get these thoughts.. Can any one relate? If so please let me know 🙏 ♥ #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #Depression #Insomnia #LateNightThoughts #Cananyonerelate #Flashbacks

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Does anyone else feel like they’re only just simply existing and not actually living? Do you ever question your purpose and get anxious about your future because you don’t quite see why things are happening the way they are right now? Does anybody else not exactly want to end it but not exactly want to live the life you’re living right now? Do you ever feel like just waking up is a dreadful chore you must encounter each day because there’s so many tasks and so little ambition? Like you have motivation but you have no energy? Are you tired but not because lack of sleep more like your soul is tired? Does anyone else feel like they’re emotions go unseen? It’s like you’re here but you’re not here? Am I alone on this one? Any overthinkers out there? #notalone #Cananyonerelate

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I am reaching out for some support as I feel utterly alone with this disease. Most people don't even know what it is.
I have been in an active flare up for over 2 years and my grandulomas and lesions are lit up like a christmas tree on my MRI.
I am on a very high dose of steroids and keppra as I started having seizures too and both affect mood, sleep etc. I feel like a stranger in my own body. Does anyone have any suggestions on how they manage their mood from the meds? I do yoga, meditation etc but still can't manage my emotions. #Cananyonerelate #pleasehelp

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#Christmasdepression

Hi! I don’t know if anyone will see this but I need some advice and kind words please.

I feel a bit uncomfortable posting this because I don’t like to complain about my living situation and I’m very grateful for what I do have but lately I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety and depression since Christmas is just a few days away and I have no money for any type of presents for my kids.

a bit of my story is that I’m a single mother of 3 I don’t work because I have 3 lower back herniated disc’s and my kids have health issues that require a lot of doctors appointment so even if I wanted to work I couldn’t. I don’t receive any government help, but I have managed to find a way with God’s help to keep going and take it day by day.

The only thing I get is $37 in child support for one of my kids ( he has a different father but is not in his life) my story is complicated and long but that’s part of it, anyway I can’t help but feel so much guilt and anger towards myself because I can’t give my kids much. Although for us the most important thing is family and spending a lot of time together not the material things but since they are kids they expect something for Christmas and I can’t give them anything so with my depression getting so bad and all the negative thoughts I’ve been having I guess I have forgotten the actual meaning of Christmas, but still can’t help feeling like I’m the worst mother in the world for not being able to work and provide a better life for my family!

Don’t get me wrong please! I’m not writing this because I need pity or money or anything like that I just need a few kind words of encouragement and some support, because I know this too will pass and make stronger.. I hope🤞 #Depression #Anxiety #feelinghopeless #CHRISTMASBLUES #FeelingAlone #Cananyonerelate #BackPain #Bekind

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Hairstylist Assistant Trials! #

#Cananyonerelate research stigma of hairstylist assistant and history of hair salons and see the connection between mental illness and the "beaury industry!"
#whatweallowourselvestodwellon

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Does anyone else struggle to answer questions about eating?

At my ED appointments I am constantly being asked about why I don’t like eating, whether it is the texture/flavour of food or thoughts that stress me out, whether my anorexia is fuelled by not wanting to eat or a desire to lose weight, if there are foods I like the taste of/dislike and every time I get asked these I just freeze and don’t know what to say. I feel ridiculous for not knowing how to answer these, not knowing what specifically makes eating so hard and not knowing why I use these behaviours. I just can’t pinpoint what the problem is, and I feel weirdly embarrassed to even say anything about food anyway. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone else know how to deal with it? I feel like I make appointments so awkward and I am wasting my clinicians’ time by never being able to give them straight answers. I’m so frustrated at myself. How can I not know why I feel the need to starve myself? #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #Advice #Cananyonerelate #appointmentanxiety #MentalHealth

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