Cananyonerelate

I am finding it difficult tonight. I had my therapy session today. During the session i tried explaining my therapist (whom i love the most in this world apart from my family) what was troubling me during the course of the week. But unfortunately i couldn't explain anything other than saying "i found it difficult" and i don't think i helped her enough so that she could understand my problem. She is the best therapist anyone could ever ask for and i feel like i let her down. I even got angry at her and started pushing her away (BPD traits were so apparent).

So when thinking of what happened i don't actually understand what is going on in my mind. I dunno how to explain it in words what's troubling me. All i know is that i get thoughts and feelings that makes it impossible for me to hold on. Maybe its the flashbacks.. Maybe its my past.. Maybe its the way i treat my wonderful family.. Maybe i am overwhelmed with my lesson plans. But No! I feel like i am missing something. I dunno what that is.. I don't know what's bothering and troubling me. But i know that it is eating me alive. The pain induced, the worry that comes along with it cannot be undone. My chest hurts and head aches when i get these thoughts.. Can any one relate? If so please let me know 🙏 ♥ #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #Depression #Insomnia #LateNightThoughts #Cananyonerelate #Flashbacks

Hi! I don’t know if anyone will see this but I need some advice and kind words please.

I feel a bit uncomfortable posting this because I don’t like to complain about my living situation and I’m very grateful for what I do have but lately I’ve been feeling a lot of anxiety and depression since Christmas is just a few days away and I have no money for any type of presents for my kids.

a bit of my story is that I’m a single mother of 3 I don’t work because I have 3 lower back herniated disc’s and my kids have health issues that require a lot of doctors appointment so even if I wanted to work I couldn’t. I don’t receive any government help, but I have managed to find a way with God’s help to keep going and take it day by day.

The only thing I get is $37 in child support for one of my kids ( he has a different father but is not in his life) my story is complicated and long but that’s part of it, anyway I can’t help but feel so much guilt and anger towards myself because I can’t give my kids much. Although for us the most important thing is family and spending a lot of time together not the material things but since they are kids they expect something for Christmas and I can’t give them anything so with my depression getting so bad and all the negative thoughts I’ve been having I guess I have forgotten the actual meaning of Christmas, but still can’t help feeling like I’m the worst mother in the world for not being able to work and provide a better life for my family!

Don’t get me wrong please! I’m not writing this because I need pity or money or anything like that I just need a few kind words of encouragement and some support, because I know this too will pass and make stronger.. I hope🤞 #Depression #Anxiety #feelinghopeless #CHRISTMASBLUES #FeelingAlone #Cananyonerelate #BackPain #Bekind

At my ED appointments I am constantly being asked about why I don’t like eating, whether it is the texture/flavour of food or thoughts that stress me out, whether my anorexia is fuelled by not wanting to eat or a desire to lose weight, if there are foods I like the taste of/dislike and every time I get asked these I just freeze and don’t know what to say. I feel ridiculous for not knowing how to answer these, not knowing what specifically makes eating so hard and not knowing why I use these behaviours. I just can’t pinpoint what the problem is, and I feel weirdly embarrassed to even say anything about food anyway. Does anyone else feel this way? Does anyone else know how to deal with it? I feel like I make appointments so awkward and I am wasting my clinicians’ time by never being able to give them straight answers. I’m so frustrated at myself. How can I not know why I feel the need to starve myself? #AnorexiaNervosa #EatingDisorders #Advice #Cananyonerelate #appointmentanxiety #MentalHealth