Late night thoughts (can anyone relate)
I am finding it difficult tonight. I had my therapy session today. During the session i tried explaining my therapist (whom i love the most in this world apart from my family) what was troubling me during the course of the week. But unfortunately i couldn't explain anything other than saying "i found it difficult" and i don't think i helped her enough so that she could understand my problem. She is the best therapist anyone could ever ask for and i feel like i let her down. I even got angry at her and started pushing her away (BPD traits were so apparent).
So when thinking of what happened i don't actually understand what is going on in my mind. I dunno how to explain it in words what's troubling me. All i know is that i get thoughts and feelings that makes it impossible for me to hold on. Maybe its the flashbacks.. Maybe its my past.. Maybe its the way i treat my wonderful family.. Maybe i am overwhelmed with my lesson plans. But No! I feel like i am missing something. I dunno what that is.. I don't know what's bothering and troubling me. But i know that it is eating me alive. The pain induced, the worry that comes along with it cannot be undone. My chest hurts and head aches when i get these thoughts.. Can any one relate? If so please let me know 🙏 ♥ #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #Depression #Insomnia #LateNightThoughts #Cananyonerelate #Flashbacks