cantdothis

#Anxiety so not long ago I took my night medicine 💊 and I was praying 🙏 for everyone on here and people I know independent of social media and not even long after that I started feeling anxious it was affected my breathing and I started getting worried so I got out of bed and started pacing it’s all I know!!! DESPITE ALL OF THIS I STILL LOVE GOD I STILL WANT TO SERVE HIM EVEN MORE NOW!!

I have struggled with depression and anxiety for 20years. Tuesday is my birthday. I’ll be 44. I’m not looking forward to it at all and I love birthdays! I’m so blessed with 5 beautiful children, a gorgeous home that my husband built, I’ll be a grandma( he’ll call me Glammy) any day now 🥰 I am a yoga teacher and a CrossFit coach. And I am pretty much bed ridden.I have debilitating headaches, the dr found two tumors on the lining of my brain, hypothyroidism that wipes out my energy, my depression and anxiety meds aren’t doing there job, had a panic attack the other morning, had a hysterectomy that went south. I could probably go on, but I’m trying my hardest to not think of all the things I can’t do, but I can’t. I am at my lowest. I feel just lying and breathing is all I have. I feel worthless just lying in bed doing nothing. I just don’t want to be here. I’m in need of prayers, support, encouragement, something! I feel I can’t do this anymore! #keepgoing #cantdothis #cantbreath #AmIAlone

I hate myself so much. I have such negative internal conflict and beliefs about myself. I’m the cause of so many problems and I just want it to end. Guess this is what I get for being abused and experiencing trauma of a sexual and emotional nature. Don’t know how to cope anymore. Not having therapy hurts so much. Can’t deal with it. #Selfharm #SuicidalThoughts #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #cantdothis