Join the Conversation on
52 people
0 stories
3 posts
Explore Our Newsletters
What's New in

Detaching with Anger- thoughts?

So I am struggling to detach from this friend/romantic partner/relationship gone horribly bad. It was a codependent relationship. When he was down, I was crushed. When he was happy, I was over the moon. When he tore me down, it felt like my life would shatter. When he did something even remotely nice, I would put him up as the WORLDS GREATEST GUY. He was similar with me, though admittedly I gave him more power than I think he did. He was the one who instigated this entire relationship. This was back in 2017-2018. We have not spoken in any way since May 2019. I have rid him in terms of social media, old pictures, his number, and the artifacts of our relationship. However, my thoughts are still there. While it is getting less and less frequent in my daily life to think of him and ruminate on it, I am still dreaming about him. My counselor is having me read about detaching with anger. I understand it conceptually, but I want to be consistent in doing it. I still think of all the good and positive things first when he swims into my head, and I miss him. I have to stop. He was a jerk and hurt me and so many others around us. For anyone else who has practiced detaching with anger, what worked for you/helps? #codependancy #codependent #codependentnomore

See full photo

It's ok to stop

Being codependent isn't only about loving an addict. I've played the role in more than 1 type of relationship. As you know from last night's post my daughter refuses to seek treatment for her mental illness. She can be very abusive both verbally and physically. My daughter will be 37 next month. It was easy to shut her down last night. I simply blocked her from texting me.
Now let me share with you the other current person I no longer play the role of codependent. My roommate that I was in a relationship with up until the end of last November. Right after we signed a new lease. He does abuse alcohol. Seems every day, I'm feeling more and more, that I'm communicating with a toddler. Last August was a nightmare for me. Loud music, lots of drinking, yelling over each other and over the music. The whole 🕙 I hid in my room. Big promise made then, won't drink until the new year. Not my first rodeo, 99.9% knew it wasn't going to happen, but the constant push is horrible. It's the same routine, like Groundhogs Day the 🎥. I get asked do you care if I have this few drinks. Before the first, I told him I didn't make the promise therefore I don't have the authority to break the promise. Today same question. Today's answer was, I have not changed my mind. I won't be changing my mind. If you drink I will go to my room. Then of course I'm the asshole. All those things I did for him without him asking has stopped.
Everything I say I feel like needs to end with,"that's my final answer". I've turned the corner and the only saving I'm doing is for myself. I'm happy to report even with all this happening, I'm still nicotine free for 16 days!
#codependent #codependentnomore #Addiction #boundaries #LightAtTheEndOfTheTunnel #MightyTogether #StrongerTogether #Selfworth #Selfcare #CheckInWithMe #DistractMe

1 comment