My Toxic Mother
The Mental Health Impact of Cutting a Toxic Parent Out of Your Life
Monika Sudakov _______________________________________
My Toxic Mother
Going no-contact with someone is a really difficult and painful decision. Going no contact with a parent comes with even more grief and challenges.
Society has a built in stigma against children who cut parents out of their lives.
A toxic relationship is defined as one that is in any way hurtful or that negatively impacts your life. Often the toxic individual doesn’t realize they are toxic, and they may in fact suffer from mental illness.
If they still are unwilling or unable to change their own behavior, the only choice one has is to remove that person from their life.
Codependency and favoritism have made it very difficult to make that cut. I was a momma’s boy and often referred to as “the prince.” We are getting a hot meal the prince is here.” Plus, all my outbursts and hospitalizations caused my brothers to distant themselves instead of ask questions to understand my illness. Still 30 years later, it is still hard to built a solid relationship with them.
In my case after repeated attempts at establishing boundaries have failed because even after being informed of the ways in which she may trigger me, she still does. She hits me with zingers.
Zingers: Remarks, comments, and discussion topics that I have told her numerous times to avoid. eg Covid, politics, NEWS, her health drama
In my own struggle to keep my distance from my toxic mother, I have been met with much angst. Mostly from my brothers. It has been hard enough to try to grieve the lack of a healthy mother-son relationship, but it has been even harder to be met with not just hesitation, but downright anger, unacceptance, and not understanding by my family This is my choice to protect my emotional health and well-being.
What I want you to know is that nobody has the right to dictate what is right for your mental health. You know how you feel. You know the truth. Nobody else can feel that for you.
Nobody. I repeat, nobody has the right to tell you why someone shouldn’t be toxic to you. Only you can determine what is right for you, mentally, emotionally and physically.