boundaries

Once we’ve gotten over the hurdle of identifying a limit or need and setting a boundary in response to that need, what’s next?

Well, the next step is to continuously enforce that boundary in ways we feel are best. This step can definitely be challenging! Enforcing a boundary takes work. But not to fear! We are ultimately in control of our boundaries and can work on improving them any time we want.

Mighty staffer @xokat says that her biggest challenge in enforcing boundaries is her people-pleasing tendencies. Thanks to the unreliability of her health which in turn makes her feel guilty and like she has to “make it up” to others, she tends to overcompensate by allowing others to skirt what she needs. Which, at the end of the day, hurts her more than helps. But she’s working hard to center her needs and make decisions from there!

What about you?

#52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #RareDisease #Disability #selfcare #boundaries #Caregiving #Cancer #Grief #Autism

I saw this question in my Wife’s office this week and I instantly thought how profound and powerful it was.

“Why am I saying yes to this?”

How many times and situations would thought have been helpful. I hate saying no to people because I don’t want to disappoint them. Yet, often by saying yes I am disappointing myself.

I intend to start asking myself this question, often.

Pause for a moment and think about all the things that are being asked of you. When we give all of our selves to so many other people and things, we are often left with no energy, time and love for ourselves. Protecting your own needs is a critical part of honoring your self worth.

It's not only "okay" to say no to things that do not serve us, it is our obligation to our own self-care and peace to decide how to use our energy, time and resources. Boundaries are self-care in action.

#selfcare inaction #boundaries

Do you have some people in your life that are a bit “too much” to be around? They maybe a friend who demands a lot of attention. It could be a co-worker who has one drama after another. We used to say “that person has so many issues, they need a magazine rack.” LOL! Maybe your family member is jealous of your new apartment, your new smart phone, your new boyfriend, your new fill-in-the-blank.

I have someone in my life who is “too much”. During the first 5 or 10 minutes of the phone conversation, I feel as if I have been hit by a Mack truck. This person just talks about one thing after another, so fast and furious that I do not even know if she is taking breaths. I have even told her to breathe just to give my ears a chance to rest.

Boundaries

Boundaries are important in relationships. They define where you end and the other person begins. Sometimes people cross those boundaries. When that happens, sometimes it opens us up to triggers that could send our mental illness into a downward spiral.

I have heard the term “energy vampires” for people who suck the very life out of you which initiates poor mental health triggers. The examples of people above are energy vampires. They are the types of people who make you feel like you need a recovery nap after being with them.

Setting up appropriate boundaries with these people will keep you from experiencing triggers and keep your mental illness from spiraling out of control. The boundaries I have erected around myself to protect my fragile mental health from being sabotaged from the person I mentioned, keeps me sane.

What types of boundaries do you have in your life to protect your mental illness or mental health from energy vampires?

Call to Action

1. Assertive Communication. Reminding the energy vampire that you are part of the conversation too by reiterating something you said earlier and saying you didn’t want it to be missed.

2. Asking for Space. It is okay to ask for space if you are doing life together like at the office. You can politely say their huge personality is a bit much to handle at the moment and you need a break.

3. Say No. It is okay to say no. Let me say that again, it is okay to say no. You are not a door mat for someone to walk over or to take advantage of.

Your Stories

#If you have any ways you handle these energy vampires, please email me at lifeconquering@gmail.com or simply put your ideas in the comments.

References

www.boundariesbooks.com

“What Is an ‘Energy Vampire’ and How to Protect Yourself”

#boundaries #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness