codependent

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    Holiday Struggles

    Tomorrow is Easter. I love it so much but I struggle at the same time. My depression has been worse for the past week or so. I know it's because of the expectations of me at Easter as I visit with my mom, brothers, nephews, and my brother's girlfriend. I have an eating disorder and I have had some success with it by following a specific food plan. My family does not support me not eating junk food, drinking, etc. They feel it is the holiday and I need to let loose. I know this is not something I can do. When I let loose my depression and eating disorder become unmanageable. I told them I'm bringing my own food. So I'm anxious about tomorrow to say the least.#Depression #eating disorders #Anxiety #codependent

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    It's Better To Be Alone Than To Be Abused By Anyone #codependent #CPTSD #NarcissisticAbuse #toxicfamily

    Me with my dad 4 months before he passed away. I edited this photo today as a reminder of strength and discipline; because, "it's better to be alone than to be abused" by anyone.

    Quote from the book, Codependent - Now What?

    It’s Not You — It’s Your Programming by Lisa A. Romano

    Book link: www.lisaaromano.com/codependent-now-what-book

    #familymobbing #narcissisticadultchildren #scapegoat #DysfunctionalFamily

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    Seeing Enemies at Every Turn and I Don't know What's Real

    I was raised by a narcissist mother with bpd and I think I have bpd tendencies now, along with codependency and c-ptsd (diagnosed).

    I left home at 19 after being catfished by another narcissist before catfishing was even a term. It was 1999, and she had me in a relationship with a man I never met, relying solely on her for communication with him (via her ... astrally). She was extremely convincing. But I digress.

    I skipped town and landed in the lap of another (worse) NPD -- married him, had a child with him, and barely escaped with my life 20 years later. He told me he'd kill himself if I left and a myriad of other threats which led to a suicide attempt on my part and eventually I left him while he was at work.

    I'm now happily divorced, 41, living with my NPD BPD mother, codependent father, NPD BPD possibly bipolar (she isn't diagnosed because she lies too much and sells her medication) sister.

    I'm moving in with my SO in another month or so and I share custody of my daughter, who is 8, and gets to decide with whom she wants to stay when she is 12.

    My question is, after reading extensively on narcissism and BPD, how does one even begin to heal from this? How do I trust ANYone now, aside from my SO, with whom I've shared so much? I honestly don't know that I even feel anything for my mother or sister now that I know what true narcissism means, now that I see I'm so broken because of my childhood, and how hard it will be for me to begin to grow toward some sense of "normalcy."

    So many jobs. So many relationships. So many misunderstandings ... and I still don't fully understand social concepts that come to other people as easily as breathing. And the worst part? Knowing that I might unknowingly be passing it on to my daughter... it devastates me. That is one of the only things left that pulls tears from my eyes. Eyes that used to cry endlessly for other people, people who used to scorn me, because they didn't understand why I cared SO much. Well, now I know, it was because my family cared so little for me.
    What the hell do I do with that? #narcissist #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #npd #narcissistpersonalitydisorder #Depression #codependent

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    Said Goodbye to Toxic Relationship #Depression #EmotionalAbuse

    I recently got out of the hospital for #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation . I had an eleven day stay. I just got home last Wednesday. I learned a lot about boundaries and communicating my feelings and needs. I got my medication changed a bit. I left feeling so much better...stronger.

    I set up boundaries with my toxic friend, only for him to steal from me. He gave me back my car keys and key to my apartment. But during his last visit he stole them back and then took my vehicle. He brought it back thankfully. I got all my keys back and am getting my locks changed. The relationship is Over...I finally had enough...enough of the abuse and enough strength to put an end to it.

    I feel sad, hurt, angry, betrayed. I feel sad because I do love him and want good for him. But I know in order for me to stay emotionally well, it has to be over. I will greive my loss. The loss of companionship, the loss of who I used to be before we ever met, the many years of my life lost because I was too #codependent and anxious to leave it.

    I'm grateful though to get back to living life without #verbalabuse #EmotionalAbuse . I'm learning I'm stronger and more courageous than I ever knew.

    #toxicrelationship #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety

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    LIFTMEUP Obsessing I will never be accomplished #Anxiety #Depression #chronic Depression #SuicideIdeation #codependent #narcissism

    My ex husband of 28 years is a narcissist and just got engaged. I’m terrified I’m nothing without his abusive motivation pushing me to achieve. Please help I’ve tried with some support to do more than go to work and come home daily and I can’t break this ruminating obsession. I feel like I’m nothing without being impressive and I just can’t see the point of continuing living.

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    Truth😌 #funny #Memes quotes

    Y'all this is so true!#codependent #people -pleasing #stopshere

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    Not the best day not the worst day

    So my daughter was with my in-laws all day. My husband was working for most of the day. I tried to have a girls day and invited some girlfriends over. Gave notice. No one could come. I spent the day alone. I’ve lost two jobs in 2.5 months. My self esteem isn’t the best. I’m depressed, sad, tired… and today was just the icing on the cake. However, I take it as a good sign that while I was sad and lonely I didn’t go down my normal path of suicide ideation, I didn’t cry, I didn’t get mad, I didn’t rant on social media… I just tried to make the best of it and enjoy my day. It wasn’t easy. I just as outside in my pool so that helped me being in the nice weather getting some vitamin D and just listening to upbeat music. So I’m proud of myself for that. But I’m still feeling sad and lonely cause everyone was busy or couldn’t come over. #codependent #codependentpersonality #Codependency #Depression #Anxiety #abandonmentissues #Loneliness

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    Advice please! #codependent #Anxiety #attachment #help #Friends #Support #distraction

    Hello everyone! I’ve received such great support on here before I thought I could reach out again. I have very bad anxiety which gets a lot worse when I am on my own (sure many of you can relate!) I have to spend tonight on my own and it’s very easy for my to spiral. I have a new book and crafts to keep me busy I hope to do some baking watch a film and maybe speak to some people from here? Just wondered if anyone had any tips as I try to do all the right things but sometimes when anxiety takes hold I feel I can’t do anything and end up just sitting on the sofa shaking and feeling awful. Also please let me know if you are available tonight for a conversation tonight as I would love to have someone to talk to. Thank you so much 😊

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    Detaching with Anger- thoughts?

    So I am struggling to detach from this friend/romantic partner/relationship gone horribly bad. It was a codependent relationship. When he was down, I was crushed. When he was happy, I was over the moon. When he tore me down, it felt like my life would shatter. When he did something even remotely nice, I would put him up as the WORLDS GREATEST GUY. He was similar with me, though admittedly I gave him more power than I think he did. He was the one who instigated this entire relationship. This was back in 2017-2018. We have not spoken in any way since May 2019. I have rid him in terms of social media, old pictures, his number, and the artifacts of our relationship. However, my thoughts are still there. While it is getting less and less frequent in my daily life to think of him and ruminate on it, I am still dreaming about him. My counselor is having me read about detaching with anger. I understand it conceptually, but I want to be consistent in doing it. I still think of all the good and positive things first when he swims into my head, and I miss him. I have to stop. He was a jerk and hurt me and so many others around us. For anyone else who has practiced detaching with anger, what worked for you/helps? #codependancy #codependent #codependentnomore

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    #adultchildrenofalcoholics Resources

    So I've been actively going to meetings for a few months now and today I learned about some resources that might be helpful for others who might be looking to do more with their own recovery.

    The WSO send it a daily e-news letter with the daily meditation for the day. You can sign up here: adultchildren.org/newsletter

    There is a team-up calendar with a lot of online meetings from around the world. It is a lot less overwhelming than trying to navigate the WSO page and everything there is up to date.
    teamup.com/ksa8874yvf1gd5xmnx

    #adultchildrenofalcoholics
    #codependent
    #codependancy
    #Adultchildren