Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

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Part of the Recipe

Saying the occasional "No" is more respected than exhausting oneself with too much "Yes."

I don't always realize my own limits, don't always see the scope of what I've laid out until stuck in the thick of it. When the heap of To Do's feels insurmountable, "just get started" becomes the only focus of my day; if I take on too much, nothing gets done.

We're bread dough; we need time and space to rest body and mind to reach full potential. We remind each other of the advantages of downtime, and I remind myself I am not a machine.

I mean, I like marshmallows, but I've played Chubby Bunny enough times in my youth to know the danger of biting off more than can be chewed, even the good stuff.

(TWM: February 12, 2025 – new words every wednesday)

#DissociativeIdentityDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #MentalHealth

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Painting it out#artheals #CPTSD #TBI #Dissassociation

I wonder if the person who is conducting the orchestra realizes, this player, plays her own song. I have been munipulated, beyond anything I could have imagined.Three years,in the works.I keep track of events and time.A timeline of behaviors and truths.If someone goes outside that, I feel it,immediately.The closest to me, decided to run a game on me, to teach me a lesson.it is wrong, to do that to someone who already has a disability, questions everyone's motives and is alone.I give everyone the benefit of doubt,when they cross me.Lately, I took a step back and took a long hard look at my circle of support.it was my son.That was it.I have been catfished, by multiple posing as friends accounts, of my husbands.I replied to every requests, heard nothing looked up their accounts and they were fake.All in two years, multiple people telling me I'm not online,when I thought I was.Im exhausted from this game of theirs.I am drained and will never understand how adults, cannot use, their words anymore. Text it.Tired of technology and fake relationships.

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Painting it out#artheals #CPTSD #TBI #Dissassociation

I wonder if the person who is conducting the orchestra realizes, this player, plays her own song. I have been munipulated, beyond anything I could have imagined.Three years,in the works.I keep track of events and time.A timeline of behaviors and truths.If someone goes outside that, I feel it,immediately.The closest to me, decided to run a game on me, to teach me a lesson.it is wrong, to do that to someone who already has a disability, questions everyone's motives and is alone.I give everyone the benefit of doubt,when they cross me.Lately, I took a step back and took a long hard look at my circle of support.it was my son.That was it.I have been catfished, by multiple posing as friends accounts, of my husbands.I replied to every requests, heard nothing looked up their accounts and they were fake.All in two years, multiple people telling me I'm not online,when I thought I was.Im exhausted from this game of theirs.I am drained and will never understand how adults, cannot use, their words anymore. Text it.Tired of technology and fake relationships.

Home - SUPPORT

SUPPORT WEB & COMMUNICATION AGENCY SINCE 1995 Registrazione domini.Realizzazione e gestione Siti Web.Specializzati in Strategie di Web Marketing e Social media.Assistenza tecnica ed informatica. Fondata nel 1995, Support Web and Communication Agency è tra le prime agenzie web e di comunicazione ad operare nel centro Italia. La nascita della nostra attività risale ad un periodo […]
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not to heal#artheals #CPTSD #remembered

I know I've been made a fool of for two years.During this time,every two to three months,my husband was strategically munipulated me.I watched myself struggle and perseverated,fell for it and now am the abuser.I reacted, flipped,was off my medications and started panicking everywhere again.Driving became my escape.He will Never understand or appreciate what I gave up, let happen and ended for nothing.I deserve a life where I'm cared for,told I'm actually wanted instead of told to stop talking and go away.I agree and now get it. A woman, is a reflection of the man.I am broken, completely.

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not to heal#artheals #CPTSD #remembered

I know I've been made a fool of for two years.During this time,every two to three months,my husband was strategically munipulated me.I watched myself struggle and perseverated,fell for it and now am the abuser.I reacted, flipped,was off my medications and started panicking everywhere again.Driving became my escape.He will Never understand or appreciate what I gave up, let happen and ended for nothing.I deserve a life where I'm cared for,told I'm actually wanted instead of told to stop talking and go away.I agree and now get it. A woman, is a reflection of the man.I am broken, completely.

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#same #CPTSD #artheals

I painted for eight hours today.I haven't this much in months.I will feel it tomorrow and I am giving myself a break Monday.I need transparency and I'm not going to get it.It is,not right for this many people to be,messing with me.For what, I don't get it.I am to be phased out,of another family.Is this what healing is? no.Because,I cannot be healed and I'm not some journey.im trying to get on with life and I keep being sabataged.This is not, me quitting.I needed clarity.I asked questions and asserted myself.I was, not arguing.If I had been a man, it would not be arguing it would be questioning.I am going to keep setting, My goals. For me.If they continue, Will will leave.I can stay and let legal handle it.I will not sacrifice myself or my son,for him again.I never thought it would happen.life was supposed to be built with someone.He never wanted that with me.He hates me and his mother, she can live with what she's done.Both of them.

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#same #CPTSD #artheals

I painted for eight hours today.I haven't this much in months.I will feel it tomorrow and I am giving myself a break Monday.I need transparency and I'm not going to get it.It is,not right for this many people to be,messing with me.For what, I don't get it.I am to be phased out,of another family.Is this what healing is? no.Because,I cannot be healed and I'm not some journey.im trying to get on with life and I keep being sabataged.This is not, me quitting.I needed clarity.I asked questions and asserted myself.I was, not arguing.If I had been a man, it would not be arguing it would be questioning.I am going to keep setting, My goals. For me.If they continue, Will will leave.I can stay and let legal handle it.I will not sacrifice myself or my son,for him again.I never thought it would happen.life was supposed to be built with someone.He never wanted that with me.He hates me and his mother, she can live with what she's done.Both of them.

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manipulated#CPTSD #artheals #remembered #exposure

Bout to start my day after our morning chitchat therapy.And ge will be home in an hour.I need to not get baited, provoked by his voice and remember who I am.He wanted me to become this demented, angry bitter person.Questioning,it,my reality while he sat there.I tried to take a picture.This isn't a matter of oh she knew so she is faking it.It is is this actually happening? I Will Never forgive them,if they did that to me,they'd do it to anyone.I used to be mandated reporter, because of principles and integrity.im ashamed for them, not me.I turned to someone I knew, sober, felt trust and, well now I know, a relationship that was in my head.He knew the daily calls, the two weeks coffees were leading.I will never forget this last two years.Their worste, shown and mine purposefully brought to the surface.Sick.

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manipulated#CPTSD #artheals #remembered #exposure

Bout to start my day after our morning chitchat therapy.And ge will be home in an hour.I need to not get baited, provoked by his voice and remember who I am.He wanted me to become this demented, angry bitter person.Questioning,it,my reality while he sat there.I tried to take a picture.This isn't a matter of oh she knew so she is faking it.It is is this actually happening? I Will Never forgive them,if they did that to me,they'd do it to anyone.I used to be mandated reporter, because of principles and integrity.im ashamed for them, not me.I turned to someone I knew, sober, felt trust and, well now I know, a relationship that was in my head.He knew the daily calls, the two weeks coffees were leading.I will never forget this last two years.Their worste, shown and mine purposefully brought to the surface.Sick.

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LEAVE#CPTSD

I no longer want to be pacified, played,excused.Let me be please.I am over waiting,being made,punished, I'm through,with all of it.Have at it.Im staying until I get what I deserve.My son and I have been taught we aren't enough again.He never did anything for us but let us know how it wasn't what he really wanted.We weren't his choice.For her either.Have eachother.

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