Damn

I've always wondered if when I express myself if people think I'm aiming for attention, or if they just think how pathetic I am. I'm not certain at what point in my life this transpired or why. Then I wonder if I should even say anything. If I bottle it all up it leads to an mental break down. Last one left my physically sick for 2 weeks and being put on meds, which the meds took a few months to get me on track. I'm constantly waiting for the shoe to drop. I'm waiting to be chucked back to the very bottom...not that I'm at the top. If it is accurate that I'm found to be a burden then why do I even belong here. If I were to die today or tomorrow who would really care...and does it matter if they did or did not care? I suppose I would just like to think I mattered or made a difference in this life. I wonder if all of this is just unnecessary thinking...I wish I could slow the noise. #Thinking #Damn #WhyAmIHere #Whatsthepoint #doesanyofthismatter #shutupbrain #ImSoTired ##MajorDepression #severeanxiety #PanicAttacks

Kept ok throughout the day. But losing my cool now. #Damn . I need sleep & I know it. Only 4 hrs last night. - & sleep deprived all past 2 weeks. It's 20 past midnight ....as I sigh with my face in my hand. I cannot even fake a smile right now. It was an ok day ending on a somewhat sour note. I'm going to try to get some much needed sleep tonight. I am weak & exhausted😣. It's been a tiring day continually fending off negativity😔. Which kinda won in the end. Oh well😒. Sorry for my cussing,God😔..... & tomorrow is another day. I hope I get some good sleep . Soon. 😴 😴 😴