Enuresis

Trigger warn: self harm
Trying to keep up, busy, so busy.
When night comes,the house is silent, then the monster comes out.
My psychiatrist thinks that I look for drama, I think, but who likes to feel like shit? Really? It's not a choice, I think.
I am not exercicing, eating sooooo much crap! Cutting a bit, here and there: pieces of nothing, very small scratches on my hands, because looks like kitchen accident.
I guess that is the very little control I have over my life.
My biological family calls me and calls me. They are so nice, but I get tired with all this "I love you", then I feel mean, just for thinking that it's a bit too much.
I don't feel it. I want to feel something for them, I really do. My biological mother, from heaven, must be shaking her head. How did I became this monster? They are all there, same town, living close to each other, and I'm here. Growing up like a rich kid, getting all, and nothing.
That connection was maybe a not so good idea. Because I feel like I have to give something in exchange, I have nothing, I'm hollow inside.
My adopted family... They are ok.
But I'm so hollow... Empty. Waiting for weekends to drink while watching a movie, not really getting drunk. Stuffing my face with sugar.
Hollow.
Nothing inside. Work, home, cook, clean, fold laundry, spend money, making more and more debts.
Hollow
#Selfharm , #Adoption , #Depression ,#Family . #emptness , #hollow , #Enuresis

I remember when I was little, that mattress out of the bedroom, in need of sun, and the giant yellow oval shape yelling "bedwetting".
The lady who worked as a "Kind of nanny" told me to not worry, she told me that our neighbour wet her bed too, until she was 18.
10, 11, 15 years... My mother decided to take me to a doctor, there was nothing wrong with me! To be honest, I have no idea what he was investigating.
Sometimes I tried to hide the "accident" bidding my underwear, spraying deodorant in the bed. Hating that yellow stain in my mattress.
I turned 18, the age the bedwetting would have to stop: nope!
20, 25, 40.. I got married, had kids, divorced. I was able to hide from my husband and some boys friends the bedwetting. The secret was "not sleep well".
Bedwetting affects your sleep. When all the house is sleeping I'm awake, going to the bathroom 10 times per night. Wetting the bed when exhausted.
Around 40 I realized that there were pads for that. Yeah for me! They are expensive and not sexy! But it's something.
I'm 50 and something. Still wetting my bed at night. Some people come with all kind of "solutions": don't drink after whatever hour, use the "alarm", avoid caffeine, blah blah blah.
I look at them surprised, then remember that hell is full of "good intention".Of course I tried! I do not enjoy waking up at whatever, changing clothes washing everything.
Not fun!
I have many traits that suggest autism. I am anxious, I am adopted, blah blah blah... But I don't know why that.
Today I felt like I should address the elephant in the room. My partner knows, my kids know. I learned to not be ashamed of something that I cannot control. #nocturnal enuresis, #Incontinence #bedwetting #AutismSpectrum #Anxiety

Hi, my name is Sdotcurry30. I’m new to The Mighty and look forward to sharing my story.

#MightyTogether

#Anxiety

#Depression

#PTSD

#Enuresis

I've taken several different medications for my #NightWetting . I'm currently taking #Vesicare 10mg. I take it about 30 mins before bed. In addition I also manage my fluid intake very very strictly. Vesicare is definitely more effective than any other #OAB #Medication I've taken but still with all these measures in place I still have accidents about 4 times a week. I'm disgusted with this. I feel like there's no hope in sight. I wear an overnight #diaper to bed every time I go to sleep which frustrates me more than anything. Anyone taking medication/s that actually eliminate their #bladder issues?
#Enuresis #overactive bladder #Incontinence #OABMedications #NocturnalEnuresis #AdultDiapers #UrgeIncotinence