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I feel like my older sister thinks that I’m just mean #venting

I always end up just trying to explain the situation or myself, and I feel like she always takes offense to it, or that I’m judging her when it’s not true. It’s so tiring and every time I end up sighing out of frustration because of the same thing, she feels like I’m judging her, when really I’m just so sick of these little things that make us agitated whenever I try to explain something.

It clearly doesn’t help that she has two kids who are more blunt and rude and it can stress her out, which also stresses me out a lot because I hate their bickering, especially hearing it often.

I really want to just move out of here already so that we all can just move on with our lives.

#Sibling #tired #Judgement

1 comment

It's gaslighting? #Sibling

I feel like my sister made me feel like i'm the bad guy and like i'm crazy.I felt so guilty and sad because i tought i'm crazy,selfish and evil even she called me stupid and i tried to tell her i don't want to be called stupid(because i know i'm stupid and i don't want a reminder).And she asked me "What do you have?!" Like i'm crazy and i'm abusive.


The “Spoiled” youngest sibling. #Sibling #Depression

I, like many children in the Midwestern-United States, grew up in a large family. Four-boys and 1-girl with me being the youngest. With the average age difference between siblings being four years, each sibling had the benefit of their closest elder to help guide them through rough times. Well, except one. Me.

Yes, I received the latest I-pod and many things that the others weren’t able to get, but what I never received was that important feeling of family. As the youngest, I was the least interesting at the dinner table every night. How do you compare the accomplishment of learning to count to One-Hundred to making the game winning play? The answer is: you don’t. Rather, you spend as much of your time eating and scarfing down dinner so you can go play and find some form of happiness.

I was only 14-years old when my closest sibling left for boot camp and left me at home with both my parents. My parents often referred to this period as “My Time”. The time where I got to feel important, and special. My parents often found themselves confused and perplexed by the sight of my overwhelming unhappiness.

My level of physcial ,and emotional isolation from the family became apparent along with my depression. As I grew older, I became more self-aware of my depression and often attempted to seak guidance from a sibling or parent. When the topic of depression or unhappiness came up I was met with the question of “How are you depressed, you have everything you want.”. I was often referred to as spoiled due to the fact that I got what I wanted. I never did. Not when I really wanted it. Not when it really mattered.

I wanted a family, or atleast to feel like I belonged to one. I wanted the praise and love of my siblings, and parents. I worked incredibly hard on my grades and even joined multiple sports teams like my siblings in hopes to emulate their accomplishments in order to emulate the love they received. It never worked. Often running myseld ragged, and obsessing over my achievements until one day I cracked.
I attempted to take my own life when I was sixteen. The feeling of depression gripped its talons into me and carried me away. It carried me so far that I almost reached the end of my life. Whether unfortunately, or fortunately, my parents saved me.

Therapists, psychiatrists, even my own family could not make me talk. How do you explain to a family member this situation? Again, you don’t. I didn’t at least.

My mother passed when I was a senior in High School and my father appears to be on his last leg. I don’t know if after he passes there will be much of a family to speak of. I’m scared that the window to the one thing I always wanted is closing, and I am unsure of what to do. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions. They would be welcomed and appreciated.

Thank you for reading

1 comment

#Disability #Sibling Should I let my sister use my disability to further her career?

I have several disabilities, the main ones being Cerebral Palsy, and short-term memory loss. I had a lot of appointments as a child, which meant that my older sister spent a lot of time looking after our younger sister.

I once came across a letter outlining my sister’s career goals. In it she said she was interested in working with children with disabilities and that she had “a lot of experience” caring for her disabled sister. This is stretching the truth to the absolute limit! 😂.

I’m fine with her using my disability for her career. I’m just curious what other #Disabled people would do in this situation


When support is a lie

My sister is an RN who worked in a mental health setting for a couple of years. She has always tried to be supportive, but she's a big proponent of pick yourself up by the bootstraps kind of person. When I had a breakdown several years ago that caused a stutter, she kept trying to blame it on my medication even though my psychiatrist, therapist, and PC all said it was not. So fast forward to this summer, when my nephew told me that she was telling her girls that I was faking that stuttering as a ploy for attention. Then this past week he told me that she talks to her oldest daughter and son about how I am also faking my mental and physical illnesses for attention, that I'm just hurting because I need to lose weight. Now I was already feeling unwelcome in her new house because she pretty much ignored me and called me the day before because she had bought new furniture and I was too heavy to sit in it. I don't think this would hurt so bad except that I was there for her whenever she needed me. I was there when she went to school, as she was pregnant 5 times over 4 relationships, when she needed someone to watch her kids while her husband slept on the couch. I spent years babysitting her kids, helping her to get through school as she worked toward her master's degree, and when I've needed her the most, she not been there. I feel so betrayed, so invalidated, and rejected by someone I've always been there for and will continue to be. I guess it's not really that surprising though, as she also denied me through most of our school years. #shed #rejected #Depression #Anxiety #Sibling #mentalillnes #Nosupport


#Abuse #relationship #Family major decision I need advice

lately I have been thinking about my relationship with my sisters. They have been in a feud before I even come live with them (I lived with my mom for 6 years prior) and once I came emotional and verbal abuse, gas lighting, and manipulation has been hitting me from many sides. But mainly from them. each one trying to make me hate the other. I wasn't even allowed to have a favorite color, style, interests, or anything that I personally likes because it was similar to one of them or one of them did not approve of it. I was attacked and shamed and scolded for struggling with #Bulimia I was locked in a room because my crying was too noisy. and when I say with each of them separately and talked again and again at separate times about what happened and if we can resolve it, both of them never acknowledged that they hurt me and blamed me for all the abuse. I am planning to disconnect with them, only say hi and how are you, and not let them into my life when I get out of the house. does any one have any thoughts? any experience? Is this the right choice? #Abuse #Trauma #Depression #EatingDisorder #Sister #Sibling #manipulation


Major anxiety

I have a mentally I’ll sibling that has it worse then I do. But my anxiety makes the situation way more amplified. I feel like I need to protect me and my mother. While simultaneously go hide with my father. I feel out of control and lost. Angry and heart broken. And violent. I have never felt so violent towards a person. I hurt for my sister. And am so angry with her all at once. Nothing I do can relive her of her mental anguish. And as an older sister. That’s all I want. #Anxiety #Sibling