hated

This is real! This is so painful when you figure it out! If you figure it out! I'm going to tell all of you a very private secret of mine. When I was 15 years old, I actually cut my face and said a strange person caught me in the girls bathroom, threw me againt a wall and pulled out something sharp and said he was going to ruin my pretty face. And went running out! I made it all up looking for my mother to love me, to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. She didn't.. It made the papers, nobody ever talked to us about it. So I'm not sure how, but my mom's affection I did not get. I never hurt myself again... #CPTSD #Anxiety #Depression #Abuse #alone #hated

It’s alright,
ignore me
It’s nothing I can’t take
my mouth is filled with gravel
from people hurrying away
but I got used to swallowing
that hard rock of hate
cause no one seems to like me
when I’m to much to take
what I say doesn’t matter
what I do has no worth
when I’m there I’m just there
and when I leave there is no proof
the wind just blows right through me
the sun’s an unseeing eye
the world wobbles on its axis
just to shake me shy
with every empty gesture
that dismisses my existence
with every empty word I say
with me, people have their resistance
with each empty moment
part of me dies
until I’m filled with empty holes
and I’m dead inside
so, its alright
ignore me
there’s nothing else to go
but to fill the empty hatred
and to forever sink below
#hated #aloneforever
#Ignored #goahead