heres

It’s after 2am I’m working an extremely rare night shift at my weekend job it’s a Security company that handles several contracts thank God they love me because I’m kinda panicking a bit let me explain BPD causes me to do some pretty stupid shit like buying things I really don’t need like I have all the $$$ in the world I’m learning to get a handle on it but it still does damage I’m moving next month and we are literally swimming in bills I’m working like a manic to cover half the rent for next month plus car insurance and rent for the new place my check I just got today went to paying the mechanic to fix my truck just barely covered it I’m working the moving company when they need me I get a text the day before it’s annoying very difficult to plan things out I’m door dashing and working my weekend security job kinda hoping this hospital job pans out 3 12 hr shifts and 4 hr training shift per week paid lunch and full hospital benefits plus my 403b should roll over I’ve been working torwards this for over a year before we even moved here I bust my ass to provide for my family I didn’t ask for any of this shit that was given to me I’m taking ownership though I cannot change things in the past the only thing I can do is take one day at a time put the work in and keep pushing forward my wife told me today she’s seen a huge change this week and I haven’t even started therapy yet I have to find the keep the momentum going really just need a solid break

#Working for change #Cant change my past but I can shape my future #heres to my new beginning #I Choose life #Fuckbpd