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The choice

While at a dark point in my visit to the hospital I almost made the choice to hurt myself but I walked into a special person...was it by chance? I do not know till this day. But one thing is for sure, she talked me out of something I would’ve regretted.

So I channeled that experience into a poem that to this day makes me grateful for her presence.

To my hero. B a poem inspired by you.

The choice

Early one day I went on a trip and on my way I found a paperclip...

At first it was something innocent, a fidget toy..

But later on could my life destroy..

I do not know how to rid myself of this dark beast that clutches my heart..

Threatening to unearth pain, reminding me of things that tore my life apart..

I sat there wanting to cry..My mind filled with confusion and I don’t know why...

Should I choose to live or should I choose to die?

Because I no longer know how to live...

How to try..

Being someone great..

Someone powerful enough to change the course of fate?

Then I walked into you and knew...

That what I was thinking, was not what I should do..

Thank you for your help, the opportunity to see my worth...

The chance to have many more days on this wondrous earth..

By Camron Botha

#ChronicDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #SuicidalIdeation #IntrusiveThoughts #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Choice #Love #Gratitude #help #Friendship #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Hospital #Truth #Selfharm #dont #loveyourself

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#dont want to left out

I’m an older person and only know basic skills in talking on FB or other places. I can’t seem to learn the Messenger site except if sent pics and such. Sometimes family want everyone to copy and paste items... these things I don’t know how to do and fear being left behind. I hope I’m not being silly, I really fear it though

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#dont know what’s wrong #no motivation #Bipolar

I really don’t know what’s wrong. No one in my house understands me.As a matter of fact I don’t even understand me last weekend I had a great weekend I’m a hoarder but I got rid of a lot of stuff at a free sell I had. Been working on my room for seven years i got a couple things done I have no motivation I have been laying out of work. I just started crying I really don’t know why I have a Lotta things happen within the last two years have a boyfriend that loves me and I love him. Things are looking up but right now I guess I’m disappointed in myself I have three days to clean up my room and I just keep trying . to get it done. But I just can’t. Compared to what it look like it looks a lot better in here but in my eyes I can’t see it sometimes. I want to go for nowTake care

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Through depression #we can overcome it#dont letit control you

I am still in denial stage that I have depression cause then I know things happened to me but I don't even know how to start cause having depression is not a weirdo
I think its normal cause everyone has their reasons why they are depressed
never let it stop you from doing what you love
that's all I came to say
DONT LET IT CONROL YOUR LIFE AND SAYWHAT YOU CAN AND CANT DO CAUSE YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU LOVE TO DO #do what you love

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So proud. #Depression #Suicide #CheerMeOn

I know this a bit off topic but today my wife was a finalist for Citizen of the year for our city. To be one of six finalists from a city of 400,000 people is a great achievement. To think I came so close to suicide 3 months ago. It was such a blessing to be at her awards lunch today.

#Family #Hope #dont give up

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#stay focused # be positive

there’s nothing worse than feeling #disorientated # can’t concentrate #Not eating and looking after your beautiful self and # wellbeing , whether it be life’s pressures or medication you are going through, not being able to think 🤔 correctly, it’s that feeling of forgetfulness when trying to get on with everyday issues , not being able to speak correctly,too slow/too fast / stutter even friends noticeing it’s like a mental block sometimes, .... it’s ok it’s fine breath slowly ,relax the body and face muscles, hands etc , breath slowly and work through heart flutters/ take your beautiful self away from negativity and negative people, talk to people more and express how you feel everyday #dont shy away stay focused & be positive 😘

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