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Ten Signs Your Parent Has Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD)

When we think of the word parent, more specifically mothers, what image do you conjure up?

I envision someone who is unconditionally supportive, warm, compassionate, understanding, nurtering, curious, gives a lot of praise, is fun. empathetic, open to new ideas, flexible, have good boundaries, and values their children for who they are and not specifically for what they do. They value their chidlren’s authenticiy and personality.

mothers with OCPD are: detached, cold, rigid, strict, dismissive, abrasive, hard, critical, judgemental, find it hard ot have fun. have little to no empathy, give little praise, and are controlling/domineering. They see the child to be valued only on how successful they are or how much they achieve. The child is a carbon copy, .the next gen of whoever their parents are. Autonomy and independence of the self or self expression is frowned upon.

So often these childre think they’re not good enough and aren’t valued for who they are. The children of said parents often feel like a burden on their parents. They are often subtly told as chidlren, to shut up and go play in the corner, or to go away because ‘mommy’s busy’.

These adult children are then compelled to subconsciously prove theselves in life: i pursuing top level positions in careers ie. CEO, becoming famous in some way and becoming high earners. *Often at the cost to health, relationships, mental welll being, and over-all life satisfaction

The cause of OCPD is a mix of gentics and traumatic environments that the person with OCPD grew up in.

Children who have OCPD parents can relate to these ten things

1. dinner table talk is all about work, work work. How much work they have t odo. What work plans they have. What their coworkers are doing at work. How said coworkers aren’t pulling their weight. Politics, the weather, the eocnomy, technology, and other big mind topics are good and fine too.

But Art? celebrities? pop culture? fashion? creatiivty/imagination? Humanitarian efforts/ eco-consious ideas? that’s so boring.

2. Vacation is like the above. Work may be brought on vacation. Work related stuff like workshops or conferecnes may be part of the vacation journey itsefl. Work mau be the pinnacle of car ride conversaitons. The worries aren’t about flat tires or the price of gas so much as the back to work stress. They worry how much work they’re missing out on, isntead of focussing on enjoying themselves and the people. they’re with.

3.. Rigid ways of doing tasks (things have to be done with certain steps, things have to be folded a certain way, etc). The end goal of just cleaning up or putting things away is lost in the process. They do not like to delegate tasks to others, because they want it done the way they do it. Often they over burden theselves by doing this!

4. hoarding stuff/stocking up on stuff like it’s the year 2000 and everyone thinks everything’s going to shut down completely.

But nothing did and now they have all this stuff and spent all that hard earned money on stuff that will be kept in storage or thrown out…

5.They ‘love’ working

6. Cheap presents for brithday/Christmas. If you want an expensive item, they’ll get you something cheaper. or something you didn’t want If you’re a little older and want a gift card to a store you freqeunt, they’ll give you cash. It’s never what you exactly want, it’s always what they are willing to give.

7. Money is treated like a sacrilige. There’s hardly any quality indulgence. Goods and services are bought for the cheapest price possible. Often

8. Resting or taking time for self care is seen as being ‘lazy’ or ‘unproductive’. People with OCPD view others who don’t do as mcuh as they do in this way.

9. They’re always stressed/anxious because they’re doing so much at once. Children feel like they’re walking on eggshells around these parents. They re waiitng for the other shoe to drop. ‘Just one more thing I have to do!’ is often the motto for these parents. Often these chidlren grow up to have chornic illnesses because their nervous systems are on high alert, jsut waiting or the boiler to break or the car to break down and mom and dad to over react/rage.

10. They’re always unsatfied with the status qou. You have to go higher, aim bigger, do more. There’s no room to be ‘average’. Perfectionism sets in and these adult children are trained to never be satsified with their life. They go to extremes, often times resulting in burn out or chronic illnesses.

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“It is not your job to be everything to everyone.”

Emotionally healthy relationships respect give and take. Good friends don't take from you constantly, and you shouldn't have to give everything to everyone constantly. #ADHD #Autism #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Hoarding #Addiction #Mania #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

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Binge eating

#EatingDisorders

A severe and life-threatening disorder, Binge Eating Disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of excessive food consumption. A recent but important addition to the officially recognised list of disorders, binge eating is capable of immense harm to the body and mind.

Basics of Binge Eating:

Warning Signs:

Binge eating is an insidious disorder, it gradually develops over a period of time. Be wary of these warning signs:

-Stealing or hoarding of food in strange places

-Withdrawing from friends and usual activities

-Going on-and-off on diets

-Uncomfortable while eating around others

Symptoms:

Binge eating directly impacts your physiology and psychology, it comes with a plethora of symptoms. They include

-Fluctuations of weight, both increase and decrease.

-Stomach cramps

-Constipation

-Acid Reflux

-Difficulty in concentration

Consequences:

The prominent health risks associated with Binge Eating Disorder are clinical obesity, weight stigma and weight cycling. Yo-yo dieting is common among those with BED. Not all people who are clinically obese have BED, but two-thirds of people with BED are clinically obese. Similarly, while most people with BED have higher-than-average weight, it can be diagnosed at any weight.

More severe cases of BED lead to Bulimia Nervosa: a life-threatening eating disorder involving cycles of binge eating and behaviors like self-induced vomiting.

You can refer to this:

resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

Overcoming Disordered Eating | Blog

A platform built on evidence-based principles, delivered by licensed clinicians, coaches making care accessible, effective and scalable.
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What is OCD?

#ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

The ways in which symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) are experienced varies widely from person to person. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) provides a broad definition of obsessive-compulsive disorder that includes the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions that cause major distress or disruption to daily living.

Contamination Obsessions With Washing/Cleaning Compulsion

If you are affected by this symptom subtype, you will usually focus on feelings of discomfort associated with contamination. You may wash or clean excessively to reduce these feelings of distress.

For example, you might feel that your hands are dirty or contaminated after touching a doorknob or worry that you will contaminate others with your germs. To get rid of these feelings, you might wash your hands repeatedly for hours at a time.

Harm Obsessions With Checking Compulsions

If you experience this symptom subtype, you will often have intense thoughts related to possible harm to yourself or others. You use checking rituals to relieve your distress.

For example, you might imagine your house burning down and then repeatedly drive by your house to make sure that there is no fire. Or, you may feel that by simply thinking about a disastrous event, you are increasing the likelihood of such an event actually happening.

Obsessions Without Visible Compulsions

This symptom subtype often relates to unwanted obsessions surrounding sexual, religious, or aggressive themes. For example, you could experience intrusive thoughts about being a rapist or that you will attack someone.

You may often use mental rituals such as reciting particular words, counting in your head, or praying to relieve the anxiety you experience when you have these involuntary thoughts. You will usually avoid riggers related to obsessions at all costs.

Symmetry Obsessions With Ordering, Arranging, and Counting Compulsions

When experiencing this subtype, you feel a strong need to arrange and rearrange objects until they are "just right." For example, you might feel the need to constantly arrange your shirts so that they are ordered precisely by color.

This symptom subtype can also involve thinking or saying sentences or words over and over again until the task is accomplished perfectly. Sometimes these ordering, arranging, and counting compulsions are carried out to ward off potential danger. For example, you might think, "If I arrange my desk perfectly, my husband won’t die in a car accident." However, this is not always the case.

Hoarding

Hoarding is now recognized as a distinct diagnosis in the DSM-5. Hoarding involves the collection of items that are judged to be of limited value by others, such as old magazines, clothes, receipts, junk mail, notes, or containers. Often your living space becomes so consumed with clutter that it becomes impossible to live in.

You can refer to this:

resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-obsessive-compulsi...

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Becoming a grandmother

I thought becoming a grandmother would be the most exciting thing in the world. Instead it’s made me extremely depressed because I don’t get to see him. I don’t even get a FaceTime with him. My heart is broken by the way I was treated after he was born. It was during the pandemic. I found out later her Mother was able to hold him. I was not able to hold him until he was 8 weeks old and I had to wear a hazmat suit. Her mother did not. She was able to hold him from day one. My husband and I are a lot older than her parents and we are not as well off financially. My son aloud this to happen and did nothing to stop it. I do not feel anything anymore. I have a brain injury that has gotten worse due to the depression and hurt I suffer with everyday. I don’t feel like a grandmother nor am I treated as one. On my birthday this past October I got a call from both my sons thats it. I waited for a FaceTime from my grandson that never came. I was devastated. They live close by it’s not like it’s out of state. We are not aloud to babysit him. We have offered and they make an excuse. Christmas with Santa Claus not us. Easter bunny not us. Valentine’s Day came and I finally had to say I had a gift and it would not reach him in time. She told me they would plan sometime to come out. They stopped in for 90 minutes sat and looked at their phones. He got his gift and they left. Everytime they leave I am crying and depressed. I hurt my back lifting him to get the mail. I’m still trying to heal my back. That was the last time we have seen or heard from them. We don’t seem to matter to them. I wanted to do something with Santa last year. My son says make it happen!!! I don’t know what he means by that. Then I see they took the train ride with Santa and we were not asked to come along. So if they already did it then why tell us to make it happen. I really have nothing to live for anymore. It’s getting worse and my son is now a stranger to me. The only way to protect my heart from more damage is to pull away. I really don’t know what else to do. I’m not rich Lyme disease took all my money. These last 3 years have been a living hell. Lost my mother , my brother and 6 others to suicide. Plus 22 more. I can’t even work anymore on line.
#brokenheart
#Depression
#BrainInjury
#Hoarding
#LossOfAParent
#PTSD
#LymeDisease
#RareDisease
#AutoimmuneDisease
#AutonomicDysfunction
#dyautomia
#Isolation
#PudendalNeuralgia
#suicidalprevention
#EmotionalHealth
#AcuteStressDisorder
#livingwithabuse
#ADHD
#KidneyDisease
#dentalpain
#Anxiety
#PanicAttacks
#Trauma
#venting

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Binge eating

#EatingDisorders

A severe and life-threatening disorder, Binge Eating Disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of excessive food consumption. A recent but important addition to the officially recognised list of disorders, binge eating is capable of immense harm to the body and mind.

Basics of Binge Eating:

Warning Signs:

Binge eating is an insidious disorder, it gradually develops over a period of time. Be wary of these warning signs:

-Stealing or hoarding of food in strange places

-Withdrawing from friends and usual activities

-Going on-and-off on diets

-Uncomfortable while eating around others

Symptoms:

Binge eating directly impacts your physiology and psychology, it comes with a plethora of symptoms. They include

-Fluctuations of weight, both increase and decrease.

-Stomach cramps

-Constipation

-Acid Reflux

-Difficulty in concentration

Consequences:

The prominent health risks associated with Binge Eating Disorder are clinical obesity, weight stigma and weight cycling. Yo-yo dieting is common among those with BED. Not all people who are clinically obese have BED, but two-thirds of people with BED are clinically obese. Similarly, while most people with BED have higher-than-average weight, it can be diagnosed at any weight.

More severe cases of BED lead to Bulimia Nervosa: a life-threatening eating disorder involving cycles of binge eating and behaviors like self-induced vomiting.

You can refer to this:

resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

Post

Begin Again

I have been on TheMighty for a couple of years and this is the first time I’ve found posts about hoarding, although I have admitted to being a hoarder in other groups like #Depression

I have a hopeful feeling this evening. First, I always feel ready to start again when it’s a new year. Second, today is my birthday which feels like another chance for a fresh start. And three, since the new year I have been taking real steps to set up a datebook and a planner to be able to list tasks that will include cleaning out trash, cleaning up clutter, and let me clean out my house in preparation of moving into an apartment.

I look forward to hearing from other hoarders. Together we can help each other make it.

#Hoarding

8 reactions 5 comments
Post
See full photo

Binge eating

#EatingDisorders

A severe and life-threatening disorder, Binge Eating Disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of excessive food consumption. A recent but important addition to the officially recognised list of disorders, binge eating is capable of immense harm to the body and mind.

Basics of Binge Eating:

Warning Signs:

Binge eating is an insidious disorder, it gradually develops over a period of time. Be wary of these warning signs:

-Stealing or hoarding of food in strange places

-Withdrawing from friends and usual activities

-Going on-and-off on diets

-Uncomfortable while eating around others

Symptoms:

Binge eating directly impacts your physiology and psychology, it comes with a plethora of symptoms. They include

-Fluctuations of weight, both increase and decrease.

-Stomach cramps

-Constipation

-Acid Reflux

-Difficulty in concentration

Consequences:

The prominent health risks associated with Binge Eating Disorder are clinical obesity, weight stigma and weight cycling. Yo-yo dieting is common among those with BED. Not all people who are clinically obese have BED, but two-thirds of people with BED are clinically obese. Similarly, while most people with BED have higher-than-average weight, it can be diagnosed at any weight.

More severe cases of BED lead to Bulimia Nervosa: a life-threatening eating disorder involving cycles of binge eating and behaviors like self-induced vomiting.

You can refer to this:

resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

Overcoming Disordered Eating | Blog

A platform built on evidence-based principles, delivered by licensed clinicians, coaches making care accessible, effective and scalable.
2 reactions