Hoarding

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    Becoming a grandmother

    I thought becoming a grandmother would be the most exciting thing in the world. Instead it’s made me extremely depressed because I don’t get to see him. I don’t even get a FaceTime with him. My heart is broken by the way I was treated after he was born. It was during the pandemic. I found out later her Mother was able to hold him. I was not able to hold him until he was 8 weeks old and I had to wear a hazmat suit. Her mother did not. She was able to hold him from day one. My husband and I are a lot older than her parents and we are not as well off financially. My son aloud this to happen and did nothing to stop it. I do not feel anything anymore. I have a brain injury that has gotten worse due to the depression and hurt I suffer with everyday. I don’t feel like a grandmother nor am I treated as one. On my birthday this past October I got a call from both my sons thats it. I waited for a FaceTime from my grandson that never came. I was devastated. They live close by it’s not like it’s out of state. We are not aloud to babysit him. We have offered and they make an excuse. Christmas with Santa Claus not us. Easter bunny not us. Valentine’s Day came and I finally had to say I had a gift and it would not reach him in time. She told me they would plan sometime to come out. They stopped in for 90 minutes sat and looked at their phones. He got his gift and they left. Everytime they leave I am crying and depressed. I hurt my back lifting him to get the mail. I’m still trying to heal my back. That was the last time we have seen or heard from them. We don’t seem to matter to them. I wanted to do something with Santa last year. My son says make it happen!!! I don’t know what he means by that. Then I see they took the train ride with Santa and we were not asked to come along. So if they already did it then why tell us to make it happen. I really have nothing to live for anymore. It’s getting worse and my son is now a stranger to me. The only way to protect my heart from more damage is to pull away. I really don’t know what else to do. I’m not rich Lyme disease took all my money. These last 3 years have been a living hell. Lost my mother , my brother and 6 others to suicide. Plus 22 more. I can’t even work anymore on line.
    #brokenheart
    #Depression
    #BrainInjury
    #Hoarding
    #LossOfAParent
    #PTSD
    #LymeDisease
    #RareDisease
    #AutoimmuneDisease
    #AutonomicDysfunction
    #dyautomia
    #Isolation
    #PudendalNeuralgia
    #suicidalprevention
    #EmotionalHealth
    #AcuteStressDisorder
    #livingwithabuse
    #ADHD
    #KidneyDisease
    #dentalpain
    #Anxiety
    #PanicAttacks
    #Trauma
    #venting

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    Binge eating

    #EatingDisorders

    A severe and life-threatening disorder, Binge Eating Disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of excessive food consumption. A recent but important addition to the officially recognised list of disorders, binge eating is capable of immense harm to the body and mind.

    Basics of Binge Eating:

    Warning Signs:

    Binge eating is an insidious disorder, it gradually develops over a period of time. Be wary of these warning signs:

    -Stealing or hoarding of food in strange places

    -Withdrawing from friends and usual activities

    -Going on-and-off on diets

    -Uncomfortable while eating around others

    Symptoms:

    Binge eating directly impacts your physiology and psychology, it comes with a plethora of symptoms. They include

    -Fluctuations of weight, both increase and decrease.

    -Stomach cramps

    -Constipation

    -Acid Reflux

    -Difficulty in concentration

    Consequences:

    The prominent health risks associated with Binge Eating Disorder are clinical obesity, weight stigma and weight cycling. Yo-yo dieting is common among those with BED. Not all people who are clinically obese have BED, but two-thirds of people with BED are clinically obese. Similarly, while most people with BED have higher-than-average weight, it can be diagnosed at any weight.

    More severe cases of BED lead to Bulimia Nervosa: a life-threatening eating disorder involving cycles of binge eating and behaviors like self-induced vomiting.

    You can refer to this:

    resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

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    I'm new here!

    Hi, my name is bereft757. I'm here because my OCD includes hoarding knowledge !
    #MightyTogether #ADHD #OCD #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety

    7 reactions 3 comments
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    Begin Again

    I have been on TheMighty for a couple of years and this is the first time I’ve found posts about hoarding, although I have admitted to being a hoarder in other groups like #Depression

    I have a hopeful feeling this evening. First, I always feel ready to start again when it’s a new year. Second, today is my birthday which feels like another chance for a fresh start. And three, since the new year I have been taking real steps to set up a datebook and a planner to be able to list tasks that will include cleaning out trash, cleaning up clutter, and let me clean out my house in preparation of moving into an apartment.

    I look forward to hearing from other hoarders. Together we can help each other make it.

    #Hoarding

    8 reactions 5 comments
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    Binge eating

    #EatingDisorders

    A severe and life-threatening disorder, Binge Eating Disorder is characterized by recurring episodes of excessive food consumption. A recent but important addition to the officially recognised list of disorders, binge eating is capable of immense harm to the body and mind.

    Basics of Binge Eating:

    Warning Signs:

    Binge eating is an insidious disorder, it gradually develops over a period of time. Be wary of these warning signs:

    -Stealing or hoarding of food in strange places

    -Withdrawing from friends and usual activities

    -Going on-and-off on diets

    -Uncomfortable while eating around others

    Symptoms:

    Binge eating directly impacts your physiology and psychology, it comes with a plethora of symptoms. They include

    -Fluctuations of weight, both increase and decrease.

    -Stomach cramps

    -Constipation

    -Acid Reflux

    -Difficulty in concentration

    Consequences:

    The prominent health risks associated with Binge Eating Disorder are clinical obesity, weight stigma and weight cycling. Yo-yo dieting is common among those with BED. Not all people who are clinically obese have BED, but two-thirds of people with BED are clinically obese. Similarly, while most people with BED have higher-than-average weight, it can be diagnosed at any weight.

    More severe cases of BED lead to Bulimia Nervosa: a life-threatening eating disorder involving cycles of binge eating and behaviors like self-induced vomiting.

    You can refer to this:

    resiliens.com/resilify/program/overcoming-disordered-eating

    2 reactions
    Post

    Abandonment and Friendship

    One thing that is hard for me to swallow is that not everyone wants to be part of your life.

    Certainly, this has given me the idea that my abandonment issues are more severe than I originally thought. I hold on too long. I cry too much. It’s okay to sit and feel your emotions. But I still feel abandoned by friends and family.

    This is where it becomes a problem. It’s easy to feel too much with bipolar disorder or post traumatic stress disorder. It’s natural to have that inclination to feel abandoned by the people you love. But it’s a revolving door, people come and go.

    People keep telling me that some friends or mentors are there for a season. I am grateful for every moment of acknowledgment and it truly makes me wonder…why? Why is it always for a season?

    One of the keys to understanding abandonment and mental illness in general, is where did it begin? Research shows that depending on the age during development that it manifests differently. You can tell the difference in my large family. My sister who was a teenager has a completely different story than four-year-old me. I always had wondered why I developed bipolar disorder compared to my sibling. But the thing is…they might not have “bipolar”, but they do have lingering effects of PTSD and moodiness.

    It makes you feel like a black sheep as you struggle through psychosis, mood disturbances, and flashbacks. It’s not fair that they can see me struggle but that they have rose colored glasses to keep themselves from getting a diagnosis.

    I want to be understood.

    This is where the abandonment issues come from. I want to be understood. My therapist and I talked about how my need for food hoarding because of lack of resources as a child. The loneliness felt as a child being homeschooled with divorced parents. I was raised in a very religious society and was ostracized because my biological father was abusive. But it didn’t matter to them because divorce was so taboo.

    I don’t believe that my abandonment issues stem from the divorce. I believe it stems from the church and not being welcoming. All the friends that I had made during that season have disappeared. I recently left two jobs and each time, there is not contact between people that I felt very deeply for. My abandonment issues come from the realization that I will never see them again.

    How do you fix this?

    It’s difficult.

    What added to my happiness is reaching out to people that I haven’t seen in years, since 2016. One of the things that I’ve incorporated is the idea that you must be willing to invest in what your friends are passionate about. I don’t like Taylor Swift, but I’ll still stay up with you to watch the teaser of her new music. As much as you invest in people, sometimes and it’s a specific kind of person, will reciprocate in the passions that you love. If they don’t, don’t waste your time even if it hurts. You can have opposite hobbies. But listen to the person who is willing to hear what you might be passionate about.

    That is a beautiful thing.

    I want to be seen.

    That’s what stems from my abandonment issues because I was never seen as a child or as an adult.

    If people are not investing in you, why are you friends?

    It’s a hard process because of abandonment issues, but it’s so worth it to have genuine friendships even if they’re few.

    #BipolarDisorder

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    Ways To Stop Hoarding

    Hoarding is a condition often associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder in which a person has trouble getting rid of items, buying too much, and losing valuables because their personal spaces are overly cluttered. Hoarding may get so out of control that your home becomes no longer functional, and even potentially a health hazard. You can learn to stop hoarding by making a plan to clear out surplus items, overcoming your fears through exposure, dealing with urges that may provoke relapse, and getting help from others who understand your condition.

    Find motivation. Overcoming an anxiety condition like hoarding requires continued commitment. So, before you make a plan to start clearing out your spaces, you first need to get really motivated about doing so. Getting motivated can help you stay consistent in your plans when the urge strikes to fall back into your old patterns.

    Make a list of strong reasons you want to stop hoarding, like “I want to be able to entertain guests in my home” or “I want to be able to easily find things in my living space.”

    Review this list regularly when you start to second-guess your decision to change.

    Set small, specific goals. You may get a sporadic burst of motivation and want to do it all at once, but this won't lead to lasting change. The trick to truly getting over your hoarding is taking baby steps.

    Develop a clear system for organizing items. One of the most common problems for hoarders is having difficulty organizing. Decide on how you will categorize the different items in your home, typically by item type or its desired location (e.g. kitchen, living room, etc.)

    In each space that you clear, decide on a few “outcome” piles, such as items to donate, sell, trash, recycle, or keep.

    Work on one area at a time until it is clear. Avoid moving items from one area to another.

    Get help from an objective third party. There are trained professionals out there that can help you overcome your hoarding and clear out your home. Having an objective professional there with you while you're clearing out your belongings can help make the process easier. They'll give you suggestions and advice, and they can help you stay motivated.

    Challenge the beliefs that make you hold on to items. To stop your compulsive hoarding, you must understand the beliefs that keep you stuck. For many hoarders, beliefs fall into three categories: sentimental, instrumental, and intrinsic.

    Sentimental beliefs reflect a particular person or part of your life. Instrumental beliefs pertain to the practicality of the item and its future use. Intrinsic beliefs relate to the item's beauty or aesthetic value—in other words, you like looking at it.

    When you recognize these beliefs guiding your behavior, try to challenge them. For instance, you might buy too many cleaning supplies because you catch them on sale. You might say, “Even though these items were on sale, I can only use one container at a time. Therefore, I do not need three extra bottles of cleaner.”

    Clear out items starting from easiest to most difficult on the fear scale. Exposure to your fears is the only way to overcome them. However, it can be overwhelming to deal with your greatest fears first. Instead, climb the fear ladder by addressing the easiest fears first. Then, slowly climb up to more difficult fears.

    To climb the fear ladder, make a list of everything you need to get rid of. Rank the items on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 representing easier items. Get rid of the easier items first.

    For example, you may be able to get rid of surplus items easier than you can items that hold sentimental value.

    Track your progress. As you slowly move throughout your home, keep track of the progress you’ve made and whether your fears are decreasing with time. Doing this can help you gain more confidence to deal with the remainder of your home.

    ” Before and after” photos are a great way to show your progress as you clear out each space.

    You might relapse at some point. Know that a setback doesn’t have to define you. If it happens, quickly develop a plan to get back on track.

    Create an anxiety toolbox. Getting rid of your possessions may bring up a lot of anxiety. Instead of holding on to items or bringing more items into the home, you can cope with this anxiety in healthier ways.

    Implement new systems to control clutter. You can prevent a relapse of hoarding by practicing your new skills regularly. Don’t wait until clutter gets out of control. Instead, implement systems for how you handle everything from sorting mail to buying new clothes. A professional organizer can help you come up with ways to control clutter.

    Seek accountability. Family and friends can be a great source of encouragement as you attempt to control your hoarding problem. Let your loved ones know how they can help you stop hoarding. They may remind you of the reasons you wanted to stop hoarding and comfort you as you get rid of sentimental items

    Host regular gatherings. One of the most effective ways to get your hoarding under control is by opening your home to guests more often. If you know that someone is due to visit every Sunday, you are less likely to let clutter get out of control.

    Find a specialist. Stopping hoarding on your own can be quite challenging. It can help to seek out the services of a professional who has experience helping people with your condition. Typically, hoarding is treated by educating families about the condition and by offering therapy to the individual or the family as a whole.

    Get support. Sharing your experiences with other people who hoard may help you feel less alone in this process. Plus, talking to other individuals and their families can help you learn different coping strategies for dealing with anxiety and various systems for controlling clutter. #Hoarding

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    Hoarding

    I need help with this disaster I've let go on for so long. I do try to tackle it on my own but get tired and overwhelmed. It's also a mix of embarrassment and fear that keep me from reaching out for help, professinally.

    Anyone have suggestions on maybe a group or a get together of people from individuals who have similar problems? Before I could get it done with a friend but I don't really have any that I'd feel safe or close enough to come inside my place.

    I always find it easier if I can find someone who truly understands and doesn't judge. Also helping someone else is always easier for me than myself, so that's why I was thinking of others that are in a similar situation.

    I feel like im mentally well enough to deal with this now and really want to keep moving forward. Any help or suggestions are greatly appreciated. #Hoarding #BipolarDepression #Depression

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    Hi 👋🏽 I’m new to the OCD group!

    My name is Devin, I have just recently been diagnosed with OCD by my therapist. She came to my diagnosis by way of me sharing that I think I have a hoarding habit. It was surprising to me that OCD could lead to hoarding. However, after researching it more it made sense. So I’m hoping to find support in this group and also learn more from others who actually live with OCD and possibly who hoard. I hope I’m not alone 🙂. #OCD #Hoarding #Anxiety #Depression

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    The Kindest Therapist

    My current therapist is the best one I’ve ever had and has helped me clear up so much stuff. I’ve had other therapists but this guy has really helped me dig in and put a lot into the past.

    At least for me, he permits and encourages texting. One of my last but deeply rooted issues is hoarding disorder. He told me to text him when I spend some time on cleanup, and the weeks that I do take out trash I let him know how many bags I took out. He always responds that he’s pleased or sends me an emoji. I always tell him how much that helps. Sometimes my only motivation is knowing I’ll get a response if I do something.

    He is partly retiring, and he told me Monday that he is taking a five-week break first before he starts his reduced hours. He’s traveling out West.

    When I got home I texted him asking when the five weeks start and end so I know to not text him. He replied that he wants me to pretend that he is not away and to keep sending him texts when I accomplish something. He was very definite about it. He repeated that he wants to hear from me when I accomplish something and that he will respond when he can.

    I feel like the luckiest client alive.