Hyperfixating

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    Does anyone else hyperfixate?

    In the last six years of my life I have lost my fiancé, my dream career, my health and my independence. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe how devastating it is to experience not just one, but ALL of these.

    I’m an avid reader - often getting lost in my books for hours and hours. I’m a gamer - I’ll immerse myself in an MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) for hours and hours. I’m a writer… And I’ll lose myself in my notes, or in the paragraphs I write.

    My family often poke fun at how easily I disappear into a completely different world. If they lived with the pain I feel every single day… If they lived with my misery and depression… They’d do absolutely anything they could to forget about the real world. I used to think that hyperfixating was a pain in the ass - I’d never get anything useful or meaningful done. But now? It’s my lifeline. The only thing that keeps me sane. And I’m sick of people judging me for doing whatever I can to stop myself from feeling like I just want to fade out of existence. I’m so very tired… So weary. I’ve had enough of them.

    #chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #POTS #AutonomicDysfunction #EDS #NAFLD #BPD #Diabetes #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #Depression #Hyperfixation #Hyperfixating #sad #Upset #exhausted #tired

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