Hyperfixation

I am so hyperfixated on a person and no clue how to deal with it even though I have this trait since early childhood. Am diagnosed with Asperger's, Bipolar and BPD. What to do? I am so ashamed of bothering that specific person all the time even though they are very accepting of my attachment to them..... #Asperger #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder

In the last six years of my life I have lost my fiancé, my dream career, my health and my independence. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to describe how devastating it is to experience not just one, but ALL of these.

I’m an avid reader - often getting lost in my books for hours and hours. I’m a gamer - I’ll immerse myself in an MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) for hours and hours. I’m a writer… And I’ll lose myself in my notes, or in the paragraphs I write.

My family often poke fun at how easily I disappear into a completely different world. If they lived with the pain I feel every single day… If they lived with my misery and depression… They’d do absolutely anything they could to forget about the real world. I used to think that hyperfixating was a pain in the ass - I’d never get anything useful or meaningful done. But now? It’s my lifeline. The only thing that keeps me sane. And I’m sick of people judging me for doing whatever I can to stop myself from feeling like I just want to fade out of existence. I’m so very tired… So weary. I’ve had enough of them.

#chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #POTS #AutonomicDysfunction #EDS #NAFLD #BPD #Diabetes #InterstitialCystitis #Migraines #Depression #Hyperfixation #Hyperfixating #sad #Upset #exhausted #tired

I am constantly hyperfixating on people that I find attractive, give me attention, or celebrities/actors and their characters. I find myself stalking their social media and even have a private folder filled with pictures and videos of them because I can’t go to sleep without looking at their images. It’s such a burden and I feel absolutely crazy !!! Throughout the day I would literally have to look at these images to give myself a boost of energy and dopamine or I’d be depressed all day. With celebrities, I would watch hours on hours of their music videos, interviews, every movie or show they’ve ever been in, Instagram/tiktok edits… ALSO they become the main character in my dream scenarios. Don’t even get me started on how low I feel without having someone to fixate on. I guess it’s a coping mechanism because it truly takes my mind off of the problems in my life, but it makes it hard to focus on important things and no one should feel THIS dependent on someone they don’t or barely know. I’ve also recently heard about “love addiction” which is basically being addicted to recreating that new crush/honeymoon phase feeling because you seek the rush that it comes with but not being able to maintain a lasting commitment. I genuinely feel empty without that “new crush” feeling and the low spiral resembles that of a depressive low. I physically can’t care for myself or my surroundings (not showering, brushing teeth/hair, throwing away trash, cleaning in general) when my mind isn’t preoccupied with my current fixation. And it’s not on purpose, I just begin to feel like my entire life is falling apart because first my real life is in shambles and now my imaginary escape life is too? When I have no escape it’s almost like I can’t find peace in anything. Everything frustrates me. I’m unsure if what I’m describing can be categorized as something else or if it’s normal, or I really am crazy.

I get stuck pulling weeds from my lawn. I'm afraid to go in my back yard or take out the trash. I'll pass by a weed and I pull and pull the next and the next. Next thing I know an hour has gone by and I tell my self to go inside and finish work, but that one last weed is bugging me. I keep doing that, and now the sun's going down. Guess I'm glad we relaxed on the work from home stuff as well.

#Hyperfixation

Couldn’t make my biweekly therapy appointment on Friday because of Migraine…I hate having unreliable access to my therapist because there aren’t enough counselors at my college so the few good ones are over booked 😓it’s nice that we have free counseling but not when you can’t actually get consistent appointments. Now idk when I’m gonna get to see her next. My anxiety is real bad right now, my picking is at an all time high and idk how to stop fixating. Any folks who have found tips/tricks for #Picking ? #Anxiety #Hyperfixation

#Hyperfixation