IDD

long story short (very long i suppose), i do not have professional diagnosis , what i have is : i feel always sad , depressed , i feel empty , i dont enjoy anything anymore , ive gone numb . SO i have been bullied all my life for how i look and how i act and im a boy just for context , in middle school i was lonely a lot and i would wtihdraw myself from social media and just be alone in my room all day long , in highschool , i thought i found good friends who understood me with whom i had a lot of fun and memorable moments , at the same time i was bullied a lot , in class group they would make fun of me like i have no feelings , even in real life , so anyways , after that , last year is the year each went in a different path in school per subject , most of my friends were in same class but i was alone , the summer before i started struggling with sensory overload i would hear kids playing with football and screaming outside until i crash out at them aggressively , it was miserbale , yet nothing compared to what happened the year after , when i first got in that highschool year , iwas always alone and i was suppposed to be a top student so i would go home and study because here in my country its reallly hard to just pass let alone have good grades but new things happene , new neighbors , dog barks , construction noise, babies jumping on the top of my room , my room is next to them , i would hear noise and noise until i crash out , and metldown , to the point onetime i screamed so hard my whole body started burning like its on fire , i didnt look much on it first but it just seemed to got worse , one time i went to bathroom and found my body actually red as if it is burning with small many small temporary weird looking pimlples , on the other hand ,iwas feeling lonely alot 9 hours a day at school and none of my "friends" came for me and i was really disappointed and hurt and just felt withdrawn cause i genuinely cared for them and was there during their hardest times ! i was feeling burnt day by day by the noise literally ,it was like hell , i couldnt even study , to the point id go home cover my ears for hours and do nothing until i sleep , also i didnt have earpods at the moment and were not that financially staable right now soi didnt pressure anyone into buying me , it got worse i had bad gradess , i felt as if the only thing that im good at im not even good at it anymore and i would even be colding tears at school if smn comes to talk to me idd even spill some sometimes and i was just never seenn , iwas aalwasy energetic before even when i wasnt ok , id smile laugh joke but this year i was getting more and more withdrawn and quiet to the point im numb like i dont feel, i would have a day at home where i ll either cry , scream , breakdown or sstay still numb devastated after a meltdown , also specifically , the noise was like smth stabbing my brain especially the repetitive noise , i became sensitive to birds and in certain times birds are everywhere anytime , i would just become crazy and scream like smth attacking my nervous sistem everytime a bird makes repetiitve singing noise and next year the big exam that my future only depends on THAT exam , the whole As my entire life dont count , its only that and its in june , in the birds peak time and im still numb , im lonely feeling betreayed by close "friends" and depressed and numb and not enjoying anything and screaming out of anger now anything can irritate me , i forgot when the last time i was truly happy , i just want a calm life not even a happy one, noises everyday , depression sadness , feeeling like smth is wrong with me at school because people avoid me CLEARLY , its all too much , i even thought of hurting myself , im just tired , also when i m in mental breakdwon , i just remmeber all bad things in my life , my loneliness , my insecurities , my failures ,and i just wonder , did i ever deserve this suffering each day more than one year straight? people who traumatized me earlier are living their life , im not assuming theyre fully happy but they doing well , while im finding it hard to just exist and i also just want to disappear

long story short (very long i suppose), i do not have professional diagnosis , what i have is : i feel always sad , depressed , i feel empty , i dont enjoy anything anymore , ive gone numb . SO i have been bullied all my life for how i look and how i act and im a boy just for context , in middle school i was lonely a lot and i would wtihdraw myself from social media and just be alone in my room all day long , in highschool , i thought i found good friends who understood me with whom i had a lot of fun and memorable moments , at the same time i was bullied a lot , in class group they would make fun of me like i have no feelings , even in real life , so anyways , after that , last year is the year each went in a different path in school per subject , most of my friends were in same class but i was alone , the summer before i started struggling with sensory overload i would hear kids playing with football and screaming outside until i crash out at them aggressively , it was miserbale , yet nothing compared to what happened the year after , when i first got in that highschool year , iwas always alone and i was suppposed to be a top student so i would go home and study because here in my country its reallly hard to just pass let alone have good grades but new things happene , new neighbors , dog barks , construction noise, babies jumping on the top of my room , my room is next to them , i would hear noise and noise until i crash out , and metldown , to the point onetime i screamed so hard my whole body started burning like its on fire , i didnt look much on it first but it just seemed to got worse , one time i went to bathroom and found my body actually red as if it is burning with small many small temporary weird looking pimlples , on the other hand ,iwas feeling lonely alot 9 hours a day at school and none of my "friends" came for me and i was really disappointed and hurt and just felt withdrawn cause i genuinely cared for them and was there during their hardest times ! i was feeling burnt day by day by the noise literally ,it was like hell , i couldnt even study , to the point id go home cover my ears for hours and do nothing until i sleep , also i didnt have earpods at the moment and were not that financially staable right now soi didnt pressure anyone into buying me , it got worse i had bad gradess , i felt as if the only thing that im good at im not even good at it anymore and i would even be colding tears at school if smn comes to talk to me idd even spill some sometimes and i was just never seenn , iwas aalwasy energetic before even when i wasnt ok , id smile laugh joke but this year i was getting more and more withdrawn and quiet to the point im numb like i dont feel, i would have a day at home where i ll either cry , scream , breakdown or sstay still numb devastated after a meltdown , also specifically , the noise was like smth stabbing my brain especially the repetitive noise , i became sensitive to birds and in certain times birds are everywhere anytime , i would just become crazy and scream like smth attacking my nervous sistem everytime a bird makes repetiitve singing noise and next year the big exam that my future only depends on THAT exam , the whole As my entire life dont count , its only that and its in june , in the birds peak time and im still numb , im lonely feeling betreayed by close "friends" and depressed and numb and not enjoying anything and screaming out of anger now anything can irritate me , i forgot when the last time i was truly happy , i just want a calm life not even a happy one, noises everyday , depression sadness , feeeling like smth is wrong with me at school because people avoid me CLEARLY , its all too much , i even thought of hurting myself , im just tired , also when i m in mental breakdwon , i just remmeber all bad things in my life , my loneliness , my insecurities , my failures ,and i just wonder , did i ever deserve this suffering each day more than one year straight? people who traumatized me earlier are living their life , im not assuming theyre fully happy but they doing well , while im finding it hard to just exist and i also just want to disappear

Hi, my name is Harrison_SVPP1. I'm here because I am the Sexual Violence Prevention Project Coordinator at The Arc of NJ. Always looking to expand my understanding of the IDD population and their needs!

#MightyTogether

Hi, my name is listeningandlearning. I'm here because I'm working with caregivers of the IDD community and I thought I could learn more here.

#MightyTogether

I have no one to vent these thoughts to, so, I am posting here. I am sad that my daughter’s life is hard and limited. I am sad that my life is hard and limited to being her caregiver. I am, at best, an “okay” caregiver, going from bad to good, then back again. My sleep is irregular because her sleep is irregular. I am sad, afraid, and angry that there are almost no supports & services in this state for adults with IDD. I am sad that she developed Regression which lowered her skills and now is taking meds daily. And with every extra need she has, more doors close for her and me. I often feel there is no hope for her future which is also my future. I feel she is trapped and I am trapped. No hope, Few to no options. How can you focus on today only, when, you have to CREATE the future for your child? No point and no hope. She is between “low functioning” and “middle functioning” and needs help in restroom due to a colon disease plus regression, and meds 4 times a day. Very few options. She is pleasant mostly, so I am grateful for that. Going through motions with little to no progress. Where to turn?

#ParentsOfChildrenWithSpecialNeeds #sad

My 32 year old son is exhibiting mood swings that are very concerning. He is unable to verbalize what he is feeling.  Is anyone familiar with bipolar in the IDD community?  His father, aunt and cousin had/have bipolar disorder.