i miss the hair and nail appointments.
i miss the full face of makeup.
i miss my energy.
i miss the club.
i miss last minute plans.
i miss the parties.
i miss the laughter.
i miss the genuine smile.
i miss spontaneity.
i miss the outgoing and positive.
i miss my old life.
i miss who I used to be..
but as much as i try, i can’t seem to go back
#Anxiety #OnedayAtaTime #imissme #Depression #ChronicPain #CheckInWithMe
I look back at pictures from around a year ago and it was a time in life that I felt truly happy.
The genuine smiles and the belly laughs that weren’t forced. Life wasn’t perfect but I was so content and I loved waking up in the morning I enjoyed being alive.
I got diagnosed with PND for the second time 3 months after my youngest was born and it has knocked the wind right out of me.
I miss that happy me. And I don’t know how to get her back. I’m exhausted. So so tired of battling every single day with my mind. Im on meds and seeing a CBT therapist which is helping but something is just blocked inside me that won’t let the happy out.
#fedup
I told myself I would try harder and I have but no one sees it. I know my family doesn't know what I'm thinking but I told them that I was really trying and they may not see it immediately so we talked about why. It's how I talk to myself and put myself down, never leave the house but I have been. I had actual faith in myself for the first time in a long time. It took so long to try, then try again and again but not to give up. Today I feel like giving up. After all day at doctors and pharmacies looking for my medicine in stock somewhere for hours. It started this morning with a call to come in to the doctors office that I may need surgery. I was so upset and shaking all over. So at the end of this day all the courage I had built up is gone. I try to hide my pain and sickness, I rarely say anything. I know my family can see that I'm not well but I tell them I'm fine because I have tried to explain and their actions only hurt more . I think they understand then it's like nothing ever happened #lost #Pain #worry #worthless #Burden #misunderstood #imissme #ChronicIllness #RareDiseases #alwayabadnews #idontwanttofeel
#CheckInWithMe
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