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TW AI art generators (I hate them), swearing

As an artist, I’m so fucking sick of so many fucking companies using AI art generators that steal from others’ work without even any permission from artists. Ever since 2023, it feels that everything on the web’s AI this and AI that. My used-to-be-favorite websites started adding AI generators and became greedy and now I hate them more than ever. All of this talk of AI art is pissing me off. It’s actually pretty triggering to even bring up about this because it’s just so immoral, and seeing big companies like Microsoft and Google going even more south is just… 😡

It’s not just human artists struggling. Otherkin (those who don’t fully identify as human non-physically for various reasons (yes, it’s a real and good-faith identity)) artists exist, too such, as I. So I always tend to get very uncomfortable being called a human throughout all of this.

Is our government even doing shit about this??? This is extremely unfair that so many individuals would now rather shit on artists and use and AI art generators than requesting or do commissions to artists. Yes, I know some commissions are expensive (some too expensive, in my opinion), but some do art as a job and that should be respected!

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #NoToAIArt #MentalHealth #ActualArtist #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #artist #anger #fedup #Vent #otherkin #Art #StopThis

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Completely and utterly exhausted

I really can’t fathom this beyond selfish, uncaring, disappointing, disgusting world we live in. I try to stay as POSITIVE as possible; however day by day it’s just becoming basically impossible. In what kind of a world do you go see your GP for an underlying condition that’s been going on for months now and is just getting worse and more severe and get treated as if you don’t matter, you’re not important and rudely get rushed and rushed when you’re trying to explain everything that’s been going on due to being scared shitless and ridden with anxiety 24/7 that something is most def wrong. What kind of a world is it okay for a Dr to not listen to your lungs or heart, doesn’t check your ears, throat or lymph nodes under your jaw when everything needs to be ruled out due to the symptoms you’re experiencing. No bedside manner, no empathy not even a care in the world that I’m in constant excruciating pain 24/7 legit hysterically crying to him due to the pain I’ve been dealing with for 4 straight months now. I went in with the hopes of being treated like a human being, instead it was like I was just a number and a code to be paid for. How is it right for your own Dr you’ve been seeing for years now is just talking crap under his breath saying “I have to leave” and rushing me out the door when I was in the middle of a conversation. I completely understand how busy Drs can be, I am a board certified Ophthalmic Scribe; so I know how a patient is supposed to be treated. He also interrupted me abruptly and said that I was on a medication that I don’t take lightly and I haven’t been on it for over 8/9 years, what an INSULT that was!! So what you can’t even look at my chart to see what meds I’m on?!? What are you doing the whole time your back is turned to me then?? Mind you, an assistant brings you in first and is supposed to go over your meds & history and she couldn’t even do her job, like what?!? I was being belittled the entire time and he didn’t “like” the questions I was asking, WTF? Hello, it’s my body and I am the one that has to deal with it on a daily basis, I DESERVE to ask as many questions as I want, how dare you say or act otherwise?!? Since he was I guess “aggravated”at my questions, he abruptly kept answering with only yes or no answers. I asked if there was anyway I still had an infection that didn’t go away and he again said abruptly “NO” without even examining me?!? How is this right in any way, shape or form? It’s NOT!! I asked him for a refill on a medication for my migraines that mind you in the past year, I’ve only received 1 prescription with 15 tablets, not even a months worth, just 1 all year!! It’s the only medication that decreases my pain and allows me to get some stuff done, instead of being bedridden for days on end. He “didn’t” like that I asked so he kept rushing & rushing me out the door, got up like a damn CHILD basically running out the door, what is that s***?! There was no ending to our appointment, no “I’ll call you when the labs come in, or do you want to make a follow up appointment, no goodbye NOTHING!!! I went in deathly scared and left even more scared than I’ve ever been. It could be my heart, my kidneys, my circulation or vascular. That is not to take lightly at all!! I am so beyond frustrated and hurt, mad, sad, dissatisfied, disappointed, misunderstood and filled with many unknowns. I was grown up with the “Golden Rule”; you treat people the way YOU want to be treated & I live by that and it’s absolutely disgusting that even a Dr can’t give you the time of day or the care and help you desperately need. These Drs are getting away with way to much unacceptable, inappropriate and unprofessional behaviors and actions. Yes I will admit I was running 10 mins behind due to traffic, however I called b/c it’s the right thing to do and was told “Don’t rush, weren’t not busy”. If there’s anything I’m guilty of is being to nice of a person and caring about people more then I should, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt due to you never knowing what someone is truly going through and yet it slaps me in the face every damn time, it’s so sad to say the least. They say “reach out if you need help”, “Don’t hesitate, we’re here to help” or what have you. You do whatever means necessary to advocate for yourself and it gets you no where 😥. All I am trying to do is find out what is wrong with me so I can hopefully get my life back, I guess that’s to much to ask, idk anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ #fedup #overwhelmed #BipolarDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #IBS #dontknowwhattodo #alone #ChronicPain

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Can we talk?? #Loneliness

Today I feel all to myself. Sade my therapist and it hits me hard. The reality of who I really am. A women who has depression grief social anxiety and a bunch of crap. Does anyone feel that way #fedup tired. Can you relate??

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Being depressed while being a mum - I just want to be normal and fine

Not wanting to be here.
This being a near constant
An, every other day feeling
What’s the point?
What’s the point of trying to put into words?
So when I’m not here, my son can know..
It was nothing to do with him.
It was everything to do with this plague, this cancer, this curse.
I worry that all my wishings to not be here will actually take me away from him sooner than he can cope. And I can’t bear to think of him suffering because of me. I can’t bear to think of him feeling alone in this world. Wanting me. Wondering.
I am sitting here breastfeeding him. Hating myself for these thoughts. Worrying they are somehow passing onto him. Wanting to stop breastfeeding in every moment, just get him off me for fear of him “picking” this up. Trying to think of other things but these are not just thoughts. This is feeling. This is embodied. Me. I can’t get away from it. Nothing else feels quite as real or familiar anymore. The thought of wanting to put him down upsets me because I know one day we won’t be here. Never being this close to have him feed at my breast and I resent myself for wanting to stop. But my back also hurts and I feel so frustrated!

I hate who I am these days. I hate who I’ve become. Always moaning. Always annoyed. Always on the edge of pissed offness. Always tired. Exhausted. Not wanting to be here. All the time. Can’t be bothered. Don’t care. Caring too much. I don’t know. Doubting myself. Criticising myself. Criticising others. Tired. So tired. Always tired. Feeling weak. Pathetic. Miserable. Then, when I have come away from being with others, how fake I feel. They see the best mum ever. They see a positive, inspiring, encouraging, nurturing, caring friend. They see lovely, so lovely, so kind, considerate and thoughtful. Because I am. I know I am those things aswell but I feel like that’s me only 20% of the time now.

With my son I know I am so patient, kind, loving, nurturing, everything good in me most of the time. It’s as soon as he goes down for a nap and I curl up on the sofa I let a little bit of the heaviness out. Within minutes of my partner being home and having a go at him because I am genuinely so irritated. I sit on the floor and play with my son and I’m only physically there. Inside I am sad. I stare at his face and feel a sense of wonder. I watch him and feel awe. He comes over to me and I feel love. This is why I could watch him all day. This is why I record him so much. Because he is the only thing I feel genuine joy at these days. So why do I feel so bad when I am with him all day and I do get to watch him all day. Because of me and my lack of energy and my moods and how I FEEL inside. Having to do housework. Having to leave the house. Having to do things just feels like such an inconvininece to me all of the time.

This is obviously severe/chronic depression and in some ways I think I accept it but for the most part I don’t and can’t. It feels too unfair and I don’t want to accept this is my reality and will be my reality for the rest of my life. I don’t want to have to take a hundred supplements a day and be radical in getting exercise and diet just to maintain a balanced-ish way of being. I just want to be normal and fine.

#Depression #PostnatalDepression #PostpartumDepression #motherood #MentalHealth #Breastfeeding #Trapped #Parentingwithdepression #overwhelmed #SuicideIdeation #fedup #sad #melancholy

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#tired #fedup #painuponpain #EDS #Endo

I'm tired of feeling tired.

I'm tired of feeling fed up

I'm tired of spending all day in bed as I can't do/face anything else

But most of all...

I'm tired of being in excruciating pain due to my endo on top of my Chronic pain due to EDS!

I know there is an end to this but it seems to be so far away as I don't have a date for my op yet, not to mention the fact that that might not even stop the pain!


I want to get back to work but at the same time I'm terrified that I won't cope when I do!

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Feeling fedup #fedup #Depression

I think I’m done trying to give an opinion on anything to anyone I know. I must be some kind of idiot or something because all I ever get is shot down. Even my wife, I can’t seem to have a discussion with, she immediately just says “ fine, I guess I’ll never bring it up again”

By now you’d think I would be used to it, it’s been this way pretty much my entire life, I’ve felt like I’ve never really mattered

Thanks for listening



#fake #fedup


Crossroads in life???

Hi - I've had a shocking couple of years health wise. I've been hospitalised twice, had my gallbladder removed, and had sepsis. And then just as I recovered from all that I've managed to obtain a herniated disc, which is excruciating.

I've been off work 6-months out of the last 24-months with my physical health issues. My mental health has been ok, but recently I have been getting down mainly because (I suspect) I cannot do the things that keep me out of my head, such as running, cycling, tending my garden, basically anything that involved physical activity.

I've also had a lot of time to think, which is never good for me.

I don't know where my life is going.

The kids are just about grown up and self-sufficient.

I've got the qualifications, both academic and professional, in my job. By any measure I have a good job working for a great company.

But I am sad all the time.

My job doesn't do it for me anymore, and after the few years I have had with my health I have no energy left for the constant push to 'improve' myself. My company are pushing me towards roles that I now realise make me deeply uncomfortable and cause me stress and anxiety.

I have worked so hard over the past decade to fifteen years to provide for my family, that I have neglected myself. I don't really have any hobbies nor the first idea what to do with myself. I know I should just try various things and eventually I will find the thing(s) that I enjoy, but something is stopping me and I am not sure what.

I have no purpose. Married - tick. Kids, done and they are both well adjusted - tick. Degree - tick. Masters degree - tick. Professionally qualified - tick. Good job that pays me enough to not have to worry too much about money - tick. Respect of my peers - tick. What else is there to do?##

I find myself dreaming of packing in work, but then worrying about what I would do with my time.

I absolutely hate my head. I sometimes wish it would blow up and leave me alone.

#anxious #depressed #fedup

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Feeling lost, Heart Broke, Alone,…etc. 🥲🥲

What else do I have to do! Do I need to Scream it from the Mountain Top, Tatoo it to my forehead, Write it in Bold black letters, Engrave it in Stone! 😭😭 When the H** is he going to get the Clue, the Message that’s staring him right in the face!! When is my husband going to Stop being So D** Blind!! I’m DONE wasting my breath!! What part of I NEED MORE LOVE & AFFECTION in my Marriage DOESNT HE GET!!!! If he wants me to Stop thinking & feeling that he’s emotionally involved with someone else, or that he’s lost love & attraction for me, or feeling that he’s doing something he knows he’s not supposed to be doing on his phone, or that he’s talking to someone else,…..then D*** IT, START SHOWING ME THAT YOU LOVE ME & BE MORE AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS ME & STOP LEADING ME TO BELIEVE THESE THINGS ARE HAPPENING & I WOULDNT THINK OR FEEL THIS!! SIMPLE AS THAT!!!! I DONT ASK FOR MUCH!!!!! I have NEVER felt SO ALONE in my life!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 I’m SO sick & tired of Breaking inside! Every inside part part of me feels So Shattered into a Million Pieces😭😭😭😭😭 it’s Already enough that I have NO friends 😭😭😭😭😭 Now I’m losing my husband!! If it weren’t for my girls, I Seriously would have left this world a Long time ago! But they are the ONLY reason im STILL Alive!I’m So SICK & TIRED OF FEELING ALONE, USED, REJECTED, ABANDONED 😭😭😭😭😭 WTH DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #fedup #depressed #alone #rejected #Abandoned #lost #Shattered #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #lovehurts #BarelyHangingOn #MarriageSucks


Tired and Frustrated

I saw the doctor today. Just as I had suspected- anxiety takes the blame, and my ankle swelling gets pushed to the side.

I’ve got blood tests and another ECG in a few weeks, but I already know how that’s going to go. I had both only 7 months ago, and they came back normal.

The ECG is over half a minute or so in the morning. I don’t get my episodes in the morning, so that’ll no doubt be normal. I do ECG’s on my watch and I don’t have AF, so I already know that.


I normally accept what the doctor says. But for this I just can’t. And I’m tired and frustrated.

Anxiety isn’t getting ready to go to sleep at 2am having relaxed for hours before, and then suddenly having chest pain which is only relieved by lying down.

Anxiety isn’t palpitations right in the middle of something calming.

Anxiety isn’t shaking at nighttime when I’m simply moving my muscles.

Anxiety isn’t swollen ankles.

I’ve had anxiety for over 10 years. I get all those when I am actually anxious and my mind is racing, not when I’m relaxing. And my breathing techniques work with anxiety, they don’t with this.

But who am I to tell a medical professional that it’s not just anxiety? It’s the most logical explanation, given I have 0 risk factors for any cardiac problems and every test comes back fine.

I suppose I’ll go for the blood test and ECG and then it’ll come back clear, I wait a few months and then this all happens again. Though next time, I don’t think I’ll bother doing anything about it. It’s a waste of time and money.

#ChestPain #frustrated #Doctors #Anxiety #tired #fedup #BloodTests #MentalHealth #herewegoagain #Swelling #Tremor #shaking #palpitations