Imposter

It is as easy as ABC...

Why don't you see?

Everybody sees, why don't you?

I guess, I am one of those crazy few...

It is as easy as ABC...

Why is your brain always so absentee?

Everybody knows, why don't you?

I guess, all those abused substances turned it into barbeque...

It is as easy as ABC...

Why is it then so hard for you?

Everybody gets it, why don't you?

I guess, that is why they always bid adieu...

It is as easy as ABC...

Why is it then so hard for you?

Everybody thinks it is as easy as ABC...

I guess, perhaps that is it! They think and I just be.

#Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #personality #personalitydisorder #abcsoflife #Life #Imposter #ImposterSyndrome

If there is a Nobel Prize medal in avoidance I would win that easily. I don't like being alone but I'm scared of people for some reasons I think it must have something to do with seeing my parents' failing at their friendships, family life, and marriage.

I started exercising again. There is this group exercise trainer who is trying to be friendly and I think we click in some way and he is trying to be helpful in general. When he was helping me doing somethings or teaching me things, I was like giving him "Don't touch me bro" face.

1. I was paying him to teach me for things like correct posture and exercise properly so it is his job to be in my personal space and around me so I could have a better reaction to that.

2. I can potentially have a couple more friends through this gym so why do I still shut down or putting up barriers to defend myself?

I'm not sure what the is going on with me but I think need to get out of this "zone" that I have been in since I was a child. #Anxiety #Imposter #body

IMPOSTER INSIDE ME

The Imposter is a liar
Who does not care
A deceiving fraud
So good at what they do
Taking pride in being evil
Instead of doing good

Regardless if there's one, two
Or thousands more
So ruthless, phony
Rotten to the core

Leaving me confused, rattled
Often torn
Making me feel
I'm all alone

Just another sham
This Imposter tries to be
We were all born
There is a reason
Be patient and you will see

A pretender who's fake
A wanna be con
Nothing unique
Working dusk til dawn

The Imposter is a disguise
A remorseless disgrace
Not caring how old, young
What color or race

If you think you're safe
You couldn't be more wrong
This Imposter I'm warning you
Is only out to inflict pain
Causing nothing but harm

They work for Satan
Playing a role
Making you feel good
Only to steal your soul

Evil is a coward
Will manipulate and cheat
Molding and grooming us
Whatever it takes

Focused on the take down
Adding a score another defeat
This Imposter has nothing but time
Wanting us to feel hopeless
Invading our body, innocence
Taking over our minds

Lucifer can have my flesh
My body so beat down
I've been missing for so long
Your efforts did not pay
Now that I've been found

Finally realizing you're not a friend
Kicking me while I was down
You didn't expect me standing back up
I'm done going round and round

My goal here on earth
Is revealing the wolves
Disguised as sheep
Warning all people
Don't be fooled
You are what you reap

Taking action
A warrior for God
Let them hear us
As we roar
Taking down the enemy
Like never before

Stop this Imposter
From hate and sin
Let us live in
Peace, harmony and love
Keep your eye on the pearly gates
On the heavens up above

I promise you
the battle we've fought
Will soon come to an end
All the glory given to our Father
As His One and Only Son
Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior
Takes the final win

TD 2016

I was paid a most incredible act of kindness today. #Kindness I’m still in shock. I don’t think I deserve it which is my problem. It’s one of many sadly. I feel like an #Imposter . That I don’t deserve it. I had to read the offer note over and over to make sure it was meant for me. Things like this don’t happen to me. But there it is, no strings attached. And I’m sitting here waiting for the catch I missed, the change of mind. Why can’t I accept kindness, compliments, anything good? How do I stop this before I miss an even bigger golden opportunity, maybe even dismiss true love?