LGBTQIA+

About this time 4 years ago, I was in my 3rd residential treatment center in 4 years. I was tired of fighting, fighting both my mind and my body. I didn't want to hurt anymore, and I wasn't going to come home still sick. It was in this setting that I got this weird feeling whenever a particular staff member was around, and I didn't know what was going on, but I wanted to be close to her. I knew that wasn't okay, and I never did anything improper, but it started me on a path of rediscovering who I truly was. On this unexpected side journey, I had to work backwards to figure things out. I was straight(so I thought), coming up on my 30th anniversary, but digging into it, I realized how miserable I had been for most of it. I slept in a separate room, and I considered my husband more of a roommate than a spouse. I have to keep pulling out the weeds and poisonous vines of religious, social, and familial indoctrination, realizing that I got married because it's what good christian girls do. Under the weight of those restrictive binds, I realize that trauma also played a part, teaching me from a very young age that sex=love, and I wanted to be loved so badly. Finally, after intensely working to unbury the door that had kept me trapped for 34 years, I was able to walk free from that prison, reclaiming my authentic self as a lesbian. I faced some harsh push back, especially from my son, who wouldn't let me see my granddaughters for a while. I stayed true to myself though, because I was DONE being who others defined me as, I had to live as myself to love myself. During the process of working through my transformation, I frequently expressed my metamorphosis through poems. I'd like to share one of that's okay, and hope that it touches someone who is walking where I've already been.
I've been a caterpillar, gorged on trauma, religion, and society's lies,
Now I'm wrapped in a chrysalis of self discovery, becoming new.
I'm working on cutting free the thick bonds of my youth,
It's time for me to find what kind of butterfly I'll be.
This work is hard, feelings and beliefs long held,
But I want to become the kind of beauty that I choose.
How I have been fed and shaped no longer guiding my growth,
Turning and writhing, new thoughts allowed in this tightening space.
Soon I'll be bursting free from who I used to believe I was,
And I'll be soaring free from this prison, beautiful colors on fluttering wings.
Living my life through eyes that can clearly see for the first time,
I'll be thriving in my best life, a beautiful creature to behold and cherish.

June is definitely one of my favorite months of the year. I get to go out and celebrate with other lgbtq people in my community and feel heard. But not by everyone- my relatives have not wished me a happy pride and it’s a significant one. I started testosterone in May. I feel so much more like myself- more confident, more energetic, happier mood wise- I don’t feel the same when I’m off it. Last year, my father brought me pride cupcakes from work and it was a really nice gesture. My sister made me rainbow pancakes. My mother on the other hand, unless I forgot, hasnt really done much during pride for me. She attended an event with me last year which was nice, but refused to take a photo with me with the professional photographer at the event, saying that her “church friends would not approve.” It was my mother who drove me to attempt suicide because she’s never approved of who I am. Everything is always conditional. Regardless, I will remain true to myself- I am Kai and I’m a transgender male and that’s not going to change. #Pride #LGBTQ #Transgender #nonbinary

June is definitely one of my favorite months of the year. I get to go out and celebrate with other lgbtq people in my community and feel heard. But not by everyone- my relatives have not wished me a happy pride and it’s a significant one. I started testosterone in May. I feel so much more like myself- more confident, more energetic, happier mood wise- I don’t feel the same when I’m off it. Last year, my father brought me pride cupcakes from work and it was a really nice gesture. My sister made me rainbow pancakes. My mother on the other hand, unless I forgot, hasnt really done much during pride for me. She attended an event with me last year which was nice, but refused to take a photo with me with the professional photographer at the event, saying that her “church friends would not approve.” It was my mother who drove me to attempt suicide because she’s never approved of who I am. Everything is always conditional. Regardless, I will remain true to myself- I am Kai and I’m a transgender male and that’s not going to change. #Pride #LGBTQ #Transgender #nonbinary

Howdy, I'm Nox.

I'm an asexual polyamorous panromantic trans man and I'm a pagan kitchen witch.
let's break this down to better understand.

asexual - I don't engage in sexual activity. I've got sexual repulsive sexual aversion disorder. I was raped in 2020 and since then I've been disgusted by anything sexual, even talking or reading about sex and alternative sexual activity. my girlfriend and I don't have sex.

polyamorous - I engage in consensual relationship anarchy. this means I have multiple partners and everyone knows about the arrangement. my favorite part of it is called compersion. it's the act of being genuinely happy for your partner finding happiness in relationships outside of your dynamic.

panromantic - this means I can find romantic connections with people who identify as male, female, androgenous, bigender and more. it's used instead of of the more familiar pansexual identity because I am asexual.

trans man - ever since my early childhood I was drawn to more masculine activities. I never felt right identified as a girl. I knew I was supposed to be a guy. but I didn't have the knowledge of what that means until I was 16 and I found a copy of the book "Luna". I learned that there are people who feel the same way as me. I learned that I am transgender and I swear it was my biggest Aha moment.

pagan- I was raised Catholic but I never felt connected to the teachings of the church. I learned about the plethora of other religions in the world when I was a sophomore in highschool. I found paganism. it's an earth based spiritual path. it answered many questions. I also love how it doesn't teach hatred of anyone for being different.

kitchen witch - paganism is witchcraft but it's not the scary hook nosed child eating thing that media shows. my practice is largely in the kitchen. I strive to heal the soul with my cooking and baking.

I am an emotional support puppy. I mostly help with emotional regulation. mental health and wellness are my passion.
I'm a huge geek and I can talk for hours about cooking, baking, coffee and tea.

Things I am interested in:

*Puppy play
*Impact play
*Exploring food cultures
*Coffee and tea
*Going on adventures
*Cooking together
*Bubble tea
*Reading together
*Teaching classes on alternative lifestyle practices

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.
#CheckInWithMe #PrideMonth #LGBT

Howdy, I'm Nox.

I'm an asexual polyamorous panromantic trans man and I'm a pagan kitchen witch.
let's break this down to better understand.

asexual - I don't engage in sexual activity. I've got sexual repulsive sexual aversion disorder. I was raped in 2020 and since then I've been disgusted by anything sexual, even talking or reading about sex and alternative sexual activity. my girlfriend and I don't have sex.

polyamorous - I engage in consensual relationship anarchy. this means I have multiple partners and everyone knows about the arrangement. my favorite part of it is called compersion. it's the act of being genuinely happy for your partner finding happiness in relationships outside of your dynamic.

panromantic - this means I can find romantic connections with people who identify as male, female, androgenous, bigender and more. it's used instead of of the more familiar pansexual identity because I am asexual.

trans man - ever since my early childhood I was drawn to more masculine activities. I never felt right identified as a girl. I knew I was supposed to be a guy. but I didn't have the knowledge of what that means until I was 16 and I found a copy of the book "Luna". I learned that there are people who feel the same way as me. I learned that I am transgender and I swear it was my biggest Aha moment.

pagan- I was raised Catholic but I never felt connected to the teachings of the church. I learned about the plethora of other religions in the world when I was a sophomore in highschool. I found paganism. it's an earth based spiritual path. it answered many questions. I also love how it doesn't teach hatred of anyone for being different.

kitchen witch - paganism is witchcraft but it's not the scary hook nosed child eating thing that media shows. my practice is largely in the kitchen. I strive to heal the soul with my cooking and baking.

I am an emotional support puppy. I mostly help with emotional regulation. mental health and wellness are my passion.
I'm a huge geek and I can talk for hours about cooking, baking, coffee and tea.

Things I am interested in:

*Puppy play
*Impact play
*Exploring food cultures
*Coffee and tea
*Going on adventures
*Cooking together
*Bubble tea
*Reading together
*Teaching classes on alternative lifestyle practices

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.
#CheckInWithMe #PrideMonth #LGBT

I was so thankful for Pauley going to the Ren faire with me so I got us treats and they came today. I got her a box of GF cookies. She opened the box and offered me the first one. I love cookies so I was excited. I took a bite and OMG so good! They're soft baked with sprinkles. Right amount of salt to sweet balance. She watched me eat it and then said "so this means they're safe for me right?" And I'm not gonna lie, I wanted to say no bad eww yucky *stuffs my mouth*. I got myself 4 bags of cookies and I mean they're good but hers are so much better than mine. So she ate one and she said she loves it. I asked her if I did good and she said I did very good. She said I was a good boy. I love hearing I did something good.
So am I the only person that didn't know that there are lemon Milano cookies? OMG they're so yummy.
Let's take a deep dive into pride month:
I was talking to Edie about how my community faces so much violence, discrimination, and hatred. She was sympathetic but my response actually made me cry. The picture is the conversation.
Let's open dialogue, transparency and raw honesty. Do you have questions? Maybe I'll be able to provide clarity and a deeper sense of understanding.
#happypridemonth #LGBTQ #Transgender #gayrightsarehumanrights