Am I Allowed to Curse? This is called “F those Invisible Chronic Illness Books that…” ChronicIllness #IdiopathicHypersomnia #LichenSclerosus
Please understand that if any of the following things worked out for you or if you have written any books like the following, this is not a condemnation or judging of you. This is one single person of over 8 billion getting what they need to out of their mind and onto paper with the hope that, to quote Bob Dylan, “a trembling distant voice, unclear/Startles your sleeping ears to hear/That somebody thinks they really found you” or understands. If I am breaking any guidelines, I sincerely apologize. *
F those invisible chronic illness books that tell you how you, too, have everything you need to heal yourself in your mind.
F those invisible chronic illness books that tell you how you, too, can find everything you need to heal yourself in the grocery store.
F those invisible chronic illness books that tell you how you, too, can be fulfilled if you just let Him into your heart and life.
F those invisible chronic illness books that tell you how you, too, can get better with
supplements
supplication
exercise
herbs
sunshine or hot steam on your vagina
Or whatever Gwyneth Paltrow is selling these days.
Because you can’t. You won’t. No one does. They don’t. Yet it seems every judgmental person knows someone who has.
If no one has told you before that people pray on those who are weak, desperate, and in need of anything besides a cash loan, I am telling you.
If no one has told you that you are not a failure because snake oil didn’t cure you, I am telling you.
If no one has told you that they know hyperbaric chambers and niacin flushes and green juice diets and sweat lodges and primal scream therapy and infusions of perseverance into the blood stream and gods dying to heal your disease and fasting and rice pillows and living with nothing but organic cotton and hepa filters in your home along with the occasional cayenne pepper and lemon rind are scams, along with anything that tells you to ignore your body when it speaks to you (“please don’t do this. It hurts.”) and let it know who’s boss (“you have to feel the toxins before they can be released” or “you’re not hungry. That’s a societal construct”) can be boiled down to, at the essence, a person who saw a way to make themselves money…. I AM F’ING TELLING YOU. ENOUGH. Shhhh. Rest. You’re whole. You’re more than enough. You have learned more truths going around the sun than anyone be forced to learn through pain.
If no one has told you in so long that you forget the smile that used to shine on your face when you heard it, you should know, I am proud of you.
Photo: author’s own
“Full of Potential”


