Loosing

this is related to my breakup story i recently posted about..its been one month but i still cant forget that guy...my mental peace is killing frm inside..the promises he made...the princess treatment he gave it to me..i cant forget it..moreover recently her other ex called me telling that he used to dominate her..n has used her also physically..n when she said she wants to breakup...he used to call n stop her...the fact that he is stopping her and not even texting me is making me feel worthless...i'm not able to understand where my mind is going...i dont want to be this...but gradually i am becoming like this...i really want to get out of this mess and forget his existence asap #Depression #MentalHealth #Addiction #suffering #Broken #Loosing myself #Toxic

In 2019 I lost my boyfriend to suicide. He was the love of my life. He struggled with depression but refused to seek help. When he told me about his suicidal ideations, 2 days prior his suicide, I made him go to his family doctor and I encouraged him to book an appointment to a psiciatrist, and he did. But the appointment was 3 days ahead. I lived in another country and had no contact number or adress to his family. I told my boyfriend I wanted to call his job, to his friend, he said I was not allowed to do that, and that I should not worry, we would get through this.
We did not. 3,5 hours before I was waiting for him to come to his job so that I could call him and tell him that I had decided that we have to reach out that day to his family and not wait for the appointment next day, 3,5 hour earlier he killed himself. I sat waiting for him to answer me, but he did not, he was dead.
His friend sent a messag that night, and my life stopped.
You died darling , while I was 1900 km away and I died too. The guilt of not going towards your words darling, to act sooner, is consuming me. I miss you and the pain is unbearable. Love you darling, forever. And I miss you so much. I’m so sorry. #Loosing my partner to suicide #suicidelossurvivors #SuicideSurvivors

The last few days I have been feeling edgy,I dont like when I feel like this,little but significant things start to piss me https://off.I feel like I want to yell or hit something. I already have enough of my own BS to deal with,I have no room to be dealing with others BS

lately I just been stuck in my head and my depression is getting to me.. am I a bad morher for begging god to just take me and leave my son with my family and make him happy 😭 I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I just keep thinking how better off my son would be without me because I'm always so depressed and neg I try for him for when he is finally here but u just cant. I constantly find myself fighting with my spouse too and I just feel like I ruined my spouses life as well I find myself praying and crying sometimes that during delivery I just die and my son gets to be with his father and both our families i just feel like i cant do this like i just need to disappear as if nobody need me in their life.. please help 😭😭😭 #Depression #lost #help #mothertobe #pregnant #Hormones #Emotions #needhelp #needadvice #Death #Loosing #loosingcontrol

#MightyTogether

I called to make an appointment with my Therapist and was told she was no longer working there. My first T quit all his clients with no notice, closure, or referral 25 years ago. Another T became my wife's T instead 8 years ago.
When I told the receptionist this was very traumatizing, she said she would check with T and get back with me. I called back mid day and asked for the regular receptionist, who told me T was taking a Sabatical, not quitting, and she wanted a closure appointment. We have worked together through 7 years of very hard recovery from CPTSD, and DID. It's going to be hard to get used to a new T in the mean time.
#CheckInWithMe