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    Don’t know what to do anymore

    I’ve struggled with anxiety my entire life from a very young age and now I’m married and struggling harder than ever in my marriage. My husband is a porn addict and recovering, however we’ve been married two year together three and not only had he watched porn religiously but also talked to other women on the internet asked for and sent photos, reached out to his exes and let it ruin our marriage. We separated briefly in February 2021 because he wouldn’t come to terms with his issues and the fact that he and his mother were manipulating me and controlling me (couldn’t talk to my family and she told me what he was doing wasn’t cheating and to grow up and get over it) after four months of separation having to start my life over and a divorce in progress we reconciled. But ever since we got back together and realized his addiction among other things had caused our hardship, he’s been suicidal and extremely depressed. He being suicidal has caused my anxiety to skyrocket. He’s held a gun to his head and knife to his throat so far. He’s seeing a therapist but I feel like this is never going to end. #needadvice #SuicidalThoughts #Depression #Anxiety #ToxicMarriage

    3 comments
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    Am I wrong? #needadvice #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    My toxic trait is running away from everything and everyone to avoid confrontation and feelings I don’t want to feel. From the age of 14 I have been a runner. My running has caused so much pain to my loved ones and had left a wake of destruction in my path. Finally at the age of 39 I broke that pattern. I stood up for myself and held myself accountable for my actions. My husband (strained marriage) asked me/ made the offer to move away and start over completely in a new place with new people. Why knowing my issues would he ever make the offer to run away? I feel like this is a red flag but am I just being crazy??

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    "You use your mental health as a crutch " Need advice about lacking partner! #Relationships #needadvice #lost

    It has taken a lot to admit to myself that I had mental health problems. I should have known better, seeing my parents, siblings suffer their own illnesses.
    I guess I was in denial, we all know how difficult it is to get out of our own heads and face what's right in front of you.
    Now that I have finally recognized it, I've sought help. I'm on medications and have (finally) found a therapist with whom I am comfortable.
    I had issues in the past, especially with my daughter's father when I was in the throes of PPD. My real, underlying issues reared their ugly head and I fell into darkness hard. (It didn't help that being an EMT, I was facing a lot of stress and PTSD). When I needed emotional support and patience, I was told, "You need to get a handle on this crap because it's a detriment to our relationship. "
    That cut me to the core. I felt so alone at a time when I was already so vulnerable. It was a big factor in my leaving him, as I didn't want my daughter to be raised around parents who had begun to have animosity and bitterness with one another.
    Fast forward to now, the partner I have we have been together for a few years. Things started out great! He was loving, affectionate and seemed very invested in my journey towards becoming a better me. He had a lot of health setbacks that came on suddenly, and his mental health wasn't the greatest...but I stood by him, cared for him and showed how invested I was in his well-being. I was patient, when he would snap or be depressed and did all I could to help him find a way to see he could handle this. We made the promise to one another that we'd be a rock for one another when the other couldn't find the strength to stand or go on.
    Now things are better for him, but my mental health took another nosedive.
    I took the steps towards getting better, and had stressed from the start that I needed my rock, I needed some validation that I'll be okay and that he isn't going to give up on us, on me.
    More than once, I tried talking to him about my feelings and more than once, he's put me down and made me feel so guilty. He believes I use my mental health as a crutch, and looks down on me with almost disgust when I bring it up in front of others. He gets annoyed, shuts down any conversation where I'm asking for him to just try, simply implying that if he didn't love me, he wouldn't be here.
    He's become so distant. He equates spending time in each other's presence as spending time together, but he doesn't interact with me. He's on his phone, or talking to friends. No sex, no intimacy, no effort or emotion.
    This isn't meant to be a bash rant against him, but I feel so alone and invalid.
    My heart hurts, thinking that someone I love so much and invested all of my energy into supporting him, couldn't give a damn about my struggle or my feelings.
    Leaving isn't an option, so I don't think that's the advice I'm looking for.
    I've given up on seeking love and support from him.
    How do I live with this?

    4 comments
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    Lost of interest in things I love - Please Help.

    #Autism #Anxiety #Depression #needadvice

    Lately, I have been losing interest in the things I love to do.  I love to read - comics, YA novels, thrillers, play video games, and watch movies.  But, now all of that seems mundane and I don't have the energy to do it.  I am still interested in these things because of my autism, but I don't know why I feel this way.

    Has anyone felt like this?  How did you get over it?

    6 comments
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    #stressed #needadvice Is it possible for me to not be late as often too work?

    ..if I loose my job, my husband will leave me. I cause him so much stress because of how I am and I am late to work a lot because of my mental issues. Been doing my best to fix it but it's almost too hard 😔 if I loose my job then we will no longer have 2 incomes and we have kids to take care of. So I do understand why he is being very angry towards me for being late often but is he taking it too far by promising me that he will leave me if I loose my job?

    This morning I spent most of my getting ready hours by just being curled up in a ball on the couch and then only had 5 minutes to get ready because I wasn't able to get myself up faster..sometimes I have to stop driving and pull over to the side on my way to work because of my mental state and thet makes me late too.

    It's just feels impossible to get myself ready; I don't really even wear makeup, usually simply tie my hair up and it only takes a few minutes to get my clothes on. But to mentally prepare myself to leave takes sometimes almost 3 hours. And when I have a rough night...instead of preparing myself to leave, I just curl up and can not do anything, then I end up rushing out to work without being mentally ready to leave so i won't be too late. This morning i came into work with one sock on and holding my shoes because after my husband told me that he would leave me if i lost the job i just grabbed everything i needed real quick and ran out the door.

    The mornings that i am on time to work is when i can get myself up between 3am to 4am without having to curl up. I do some yoga while listing to the morning birds that are outside and then get food ready. I tidy up the place, avoid the mirror while getting ready so i don't cry and then i wake up my kids to get them ready to leave. Then take off to work at 6:50am.

    Unfortunately I am late more than on time, no matter how hard i try each morning is very hard. I wake up more sore than i was when i went to sleep, i have to fight off that intense urge to harm myself, i have to avoid looking at myself when getting ready. And of course there's much more to my mornings than what i just mentioned but it's a bit too much to type out it all. And the times i don't get myself up early enough is when I have sleep paralysis, or when my nightmares are too much to handle in the moment and when my mental issues are being worse than their usual..

    My husband has offered to help me get ready and to help with the kids but whenever i try to get him up he just won't. He tries to help sometimes but he is just too tired and too grumpy when woken up too soon. So he expects me to be able to do it all and i can, it is just very hard to. I honestly am not lazy i try my best each day and i do not want to loose my job not only because my partner would leave but also because i understand why i need a job. To help take care of my kids needs and wants and to also help with the bills. If he is only working then it would he very difficult until i get hired into a new job.

    Post

    Surgery#scared

    #Fibromyalgia I am having carpal tunnel surgery and an arthoplasty to replace a bone in my hand with the warm weather we have been getting my flare ups are horrible I am scared of how I am gonna be able to deal with the pain during my 4-6 month recovery period any advice?#needadvice

    4 comments
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    I’m newly diagnosed with fibro.I’ve been having trouble balancing life, husband, a 4 year old daughter and fibro. How do you all handle it? #

    #Fibromyalgia #overwhelmedbylife #newlydiagnosed #needadvice

    7 comments
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    I want to reach out to someone I’ve talked to about my mental health, but things have felt off lately with him, help? #help #Anxiety #Depression

    I typically go to this guy when I’m feeling really depressed or suicidal, but we are also really good friends in general. We haven’t talked a lot recently, but lately I’ve been getting pretty bad and I want to reach out to him, but it feels off and it feels like he’s being burdened with me and doesn’t want to help anymore. I don’t know if that’s true or not, because he’s a really genuine guy and has said I can come to him at anytime no matter what, but I feel hesitant to reach out because I feel like a burden to him and that he doesn’t want to help me as much anymore, which is fine if that’s the case but I’d rather him tell me. At the same time I also don’t want to ask that question because I feel embarrassed, guilty, and shameful in a way. Any advice on how to go about this, deal with this, or ways to get help in a place that’s not him? #help #Anxiety #suicidal #Depression #Askingforhelp #needadvice

    2 comments
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    What would make a handicap accessible bathroom easier to navigate?

    My office has recently been renovated and the bathroom has been made handicap accessible. I'm not a wheelchair user or visually impaired so I may miss things that people need. There's no storage, so I'm trying to figure out where to put things like towel hooks and a toilet roll holder and where to put paper towels. Any advice? #needadvice #Disability

    5 comments