Okay.....I have to really come to confession now guys. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am sitting on our back deck crying like an idiot now.
I told you all about my partner and I splitting a month ago due to his abuse. I stayed with him far too long. What he doesn't know is that my current girlfriend and I started talking and then being together while I was still with him....4 months ago. I felt justified in that he treated me like absolute shit and was not a safe person. If he wasn't screaming at me for something he was physically assaultive. I felt like I had a right to "cheat".I now feel like I made a mistake and fucked up with this amazing girl. And now I have to fix this. I am so fucking worried now guys.
She just got back after she drove to her mom's...they got in a fight. She decided not to stay. She now told me why. She told her mom that she is pregnant. She has ONLY been with me for the last 3 months. She was sobbing guys. I didn't know what else to do or say so I just held her and told her I was sorry....and that we would figure it out. Her mom told her not to come back. I am not an ass...she can absolutely stay here and I will do whatever she needs and wants.
But right now....I am scared. I am worried. And I feel like an absolute asshole. I lied to people. I feel like I have really fucked up here. She told me she is okay and that she isn't upset that we are pregnant. But I feel terrified that tomorrow she will feel differently.
And I am sorry for things I lied about here. I just didn't want to be seen as a dick. When I left my partner she and I talked about trying to back off and start "fresh" but she kept asking to stay over. I didn't want to push her away so I said yes to her staying. I don't know what to do now. I love this girl. I just am afraid to fuck this up.
#Anxiety ##PanicAttack #pregnant #Abuse