Confused, tired and lost on my mind sometimes, and that's make me feel more dead than truly alive... maybe I'm just overthinking about everything or maybe
I just need a break and to back to self care... But it's SO hard to not fall again on unhealthy behavior...
showing you my personal art make me feel that I'm valid and not alone. 🖤
I am struggling with feeling inadequate in the care and time I have put forth to help my friend with her baby. I feel like she is relying on me like a spouse or partner. I was at the hospital from the Sunday, 15th to Wednesday, 3 am 18th After we got this little man here after 40 plus hours of labor and an C-Section unplanned...I bottomed out. So instead of coming back to the hospital I had to go home and crash for 10 hours. She was still very drugged and has expressed she felt hurt and disappointed like she had been abandoned. I don't feel like how I felt mattered which led to my abrupt self preservation decision. She is not in the right mind set for her to hear me. Any thoughts of encouragement or thoughts on a better way to communicate with her at this time would be much appreciated. #lostinmyownmind #Feelingunappreciated #iamanempath
Anxiety is wild. Causes my stomach to hurt. Very non-motivated. Feeling guilty for not being more productive. If I am honest with myself, this is day 3 of this cycle. Guilt for feeling so bad about myself. Not wanting anyone to know or to bother them with my mind games. I know my mind is telling me these things. Just working on finding my way out of the rabbit hole. #Depression #Anxiety #Guilt #rabbithole #lostinmyownmind
the fact I told u my actions r a reaction to fear of what is going to happen now was so I can grow more with u but ur response just verified that my fears where right..
I feel like I’m wasting my time maybe..
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD
When you feel like you can’t breathe like the oxygen has left your lungs there’s no way to catch your breath.
You stuck in a maze of darkness every time you turn a corner and think you’ve found the exit when in reality you’ve hit another dead end more and the more the darkness consumes you the more you can’t breathe even in my sleep I can’t find a escape from the darkness I can’t get rid of the Demons that are eating me alive I’m alive but not actually living just existing I can’t even recognise my own reflection in the mirror anymore I’m slowly disappearing in the world around me consumed by the darkness the voices taking over my mind when the battle feels like the end there’s no sign of winning There’s no more weapons to fight no more strength to carry on when you feel like surrendering is nearing you can see it in the near distance the masks you wear each day no longer fit the struggle gets harder your hearts hardly beating the blood is seeping out slowly killing you inside out there’s no voice left in side you to shout and the whispers aren’t loud enough anymore how do you explain to people who don’t understand the battle between your thoughts everyday how do you explain to people when they can’t see the scars they can’t see the pain I’m hiding behind my eyes they can’t hear my heart as the beat gets slower I’m stuck with constant reminders that I don’t belong I’m stuck in a world where I can’t find my place no matter how hard I try I try to live but in reality I can only exist I can’t find my purpose my worth my reason for my being maybe I was always ment to be broken maybe this is who I am maybe I’m ment to be alone but I just hope one day maybe I’ll find a cure
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. My life is going no where, I have so many problems in my life I don’t know where to even begin. Trying to write this down only makes my headache worse but at the same time it helps me. I’m so numb nowadays I don’t know what even real anymore. I want to seek professional help but I have no insurance, I’ve had trauma in my life that stays with me since I was about 6 years old. Most people get a break when they sleep but I don’t, in a way I can control my dreams but at the same time my dreams are like nightmares of the trauma and I’m reliving it when I’m dreaming and when I’m awake. Every time I feel like I’m making progress on getting better I shatter back down to nothingness and I’m so tired. I don’t know what to do anymore if I even got professional help I still feel like I can talk about everything, what if they think I’m crazy or what if they just don’t understand. ): I don’t know anymore.
Today i feel like I’m drowning. I’m losing myself again .my mind is spinning around ...i just don t know what to do ...i keep laying here in the silence but it s like i am on the outside and there is a storm in my head . It hurts everywhere. I am so alone .
I am currently coping with chronic pain and depression and I think about killing myself hourly. My husband doesn’t know it’s this bad but I know what he does know weighs heavy on him. He is my only support so he gets the brunt of the whining. I want to stop dumping on him and not even involve him in my daily drama but I’m terrified of going at it alone. I found out some of the guys at work are giving him a hard time because I’m so’needy’. That hurtsknowing they are being dicks to him. Should I just put on the ‘happy mask’ for his sake so it weighs less on his mind? #lostinmyownmind
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