darkness

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    #Depression #Hope #IfYouFeelHopeless #darkness #OnedayAtaTime #BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #perseverance #AFightWorthFinishing

    The Light Returns

    Each night I watch the sun disappear
    As the light fades I become filled with fear
    Will I ever be able to see the beauty again
    I’m curled on the floor my mind screaming when, when, when
    The cold floor causes my body to shake like a leaf in the fall wind
    I want to move but the darkness has me pinned
    I used to have strength to stand tall again
    Right now I feel so close to the absolute end
    I take a deep breath watching my chest rise and fall
    Stand tall, stand tall, stand tall I hear someone call
    I have endured what feels like an eternity of darkness
    But now the light begins to seep in and I can once again see my purpose
    It’s as if my eyes are open for the first time
    I lost track of my path because I had become blind
    I look up now and the light fills my mind body and soul
    With the love of others I’ve been pulled out of the black hole
    Before darkness comes again
    I take some light and store it in a sacred bin
    I’m reminded that the darkness doesn’t have to erase my hope
    Instead it can clean it with a simple bar of soap
    So I don’t wait for the bitter end to arrive
    I look at my my life moving forward walking with a tall confident stride

    8 reactions 1 comment
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    Crushed

    Anyone totally crushed by learning tWitch took his life? I feel gutted by it. I can't function. But I feel like I have no right to my feelings because I didn't actually know him. I have been in an unusually extended dark place for a while now and this hit hard. I can't talk to anyone about it....no one in my life would get it and they would call my feelings selfish. Yet I feel incapacitated. #Twitch #darkness #struggling

    175 reactions 60 comments
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    Inside the darkness #Depression #AFightWorthFinishing #darkness #Poetry

    I feel broken, burnt, and defeated
    It’s like something I can’t get a second of relief from

    It’s as if I’m deep in a well and the rope is 4 feet too short
    Is it me or has my mind taken reality and begun to distort

    Not long ago I saw light and hope
    I sit here now almost pleading for a bag of dope

    The exit door is lit up like a Christmas tree
    I feel walking thru there is the only way to feel free

    But still I wake up each day and pray to god for the sun to rise so that I can see thru the darkness that’s so intense I can’t even see my feet
    How do I move forward when I can’t see my next step on this jagged concrete?

    How do I keep believing when I feel torn into a million little pieces?
    I spend all of my energy trying to piece them back together but my frustration only increases

    Is there a way out of this madness
    I no longer feel anything inside not even sadness

    I want to hold on for the sake of others
    But not finding it in myself to do it for me has me losing sight of the effect on my sisters and brothers

    I no longer feel that I qualify as sane
    Like a dark monster took over my brain

    12 reactions 4 comments
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    Hardest times and beautiful places

    On Monday it was my birthday, I was in such a wonderful place with siberian deers and does walking in front of my window ....but...I had and still have a Multiple sclerosis flare up...I feel horrible ..plus all the situation in my country is getting unstoppably worse and hardly bearable at all....plus some personal issues with my relationships upset me much....
    All in all I feel very very much down this week....😔 Only my pets, kind words and small gifts from kind people I'm lucky to know keep me from drowning in the darkness....
    #Depression #Anxiety #ChronicIlless #MultipleSclerosis #Flareup #Fear #IntrusiveThoughts #darkness

    1 reaction 14 comments
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    I just wish people wouldn’t blow me off. Or act like my feelings are too big. Or get so uncomfortable when I try express what I am going through that they get off the phone or rush the conversation. I get it’s uncomfortable, unpleasant, scary, taboo. Whatever word you want. But it is happening and it is happening to me. I need my people. They act like they can’t handle it but what about me? They may say sound selfish. But sorry your feelings are uncomfortable but I am planning my funeral so my parents know my wishes should that happen. Like get a backbone and be there!

    Friend: some people can’t handle death… they can’t comprehend it.

    I can’t either so it is frustrating when trying to process and people are like I don’t this well. Well **** you! I need my people. That is my biggest fear about dying. Not having my people, being without my twin, who will comfort mom who is having a nervous break down, who will take care of dad while he is aging, who will be there to hug me in the darkness? And the darkness isn’t here yet and I am already alone…

    #gastroparsis #COVID #longcovid #longhauler #Stroke #Seizures #Dystonia #scared #darkness #TooBig #valid #IamVaild #Twin #DoNoLeaveMe #help

    1 reaction
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    Long covid is killing me….

    I just wish people wouldn’t blow me off. Or act like my feelings are too big. Or get so uncomfortable when I try express what I am going through that they get off the phone or rush the conversation. I get it’s uncomfortable, unpleasant, scary, taboo. Whatever word you want. But it is happening and it is happening to me. I need my people. They act like they can’t handle it but what about me? They may say sound selfish. But sorry your feelings are uncomfortable but I am planning my funeral so my parents know my wishes should that happen. Like get a backbone and be there!

    Friend: some people can’t handle death… they can’t comprehend it.

    I can’t either so it is frustrating when trying to process and people are like I don’t this well. Well fuck you! I need my people. That is my biggest fear about dying. Not having my people, being without my twin, who will comfort mom who is having a nervous break down, who will take care of dad while he is aging, who will be there to hug me in the darkness? And the darkness isn’t here yet and I am already alone…

    #Gastroperasis #COVID #longcovid #longhauler #Stroke #Dystonia #Seizures #tubie #PegTube #StarvingToDeath #IronDisorder #ImmuneDeficient #Death #FinalWishes #darkness #BigFeelings #TooBig #iamvalid #valid #LeftBehind #DoNoLeave #Twin

    14 comments
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    #Truth #Poetry #underdog #Pain #darkness

    This for all the people like me
    Flawed and overlooked
    I speak for those just like me
    Shy and reserved
    Never getting what u deserve
    This for all my people who can relate
    Don’t this shit seem all so fake
    We wake up everyday and do what it takes
    Putting a smile on our face, for goodness sakes
    It never seems to be enough
    Shit always seem rough
    But it’s never an opportunity to simply give up
    I know someone can understand
    If you do please raise ya hand
    I speak to those who already gave up
    You definitely had enough
    Your going because you must
    But truth be told you don’t give a fuck!

    1 comment
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    This #Song “Better Days” by my absolute favorite singer-songwriter Dermot Kennedy that has one of the most #Powerful , #relatable #MusicVideos

    “It’s about #perseverance and shows the feeling -the actual physical assault that life can throw at you and pushing through and pushing through -the image of the rain actually hitting you and hitting you, but always knowing that something better is on the way and that the #darkness will always give way to #light

    1 reaction 25 comments
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    Is anyone else dealing with regular Migraines that are a side effect from Long Haul Covid! I am having them up to 16 a month 11 of the last 12 days

    #Migraine #Headache #longhaulcovid #longcovid #SideEffects # debilitating #Migraines #long haul Covid #side effects #long Covid #darkness #sumatriptan #Baclofen #neurologist #neurology #Brain # brain meds