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My chaos inside

Process of healing your entire past life an all scars left behind, becomes way to much. Past the point of uncertain hope of ever being or feeling like there is hope. A real chance at proving it won’t be another one of your manic- panicked choices to have boundaries or know my worth. Only after my terrible experience happens.. sometimes life is less complicated if we live a day at a time, but then we are unprepared for the inevitable. So if it’s gonna take place in hy not let it be. But letting it be triggers the truma of my unhealed version. The place I pushed so far down it screams from the dark side within.. HEALING “ is it really possible, no it’s more like we overcome the terrible experiences we become stronger so we can defeat the manic panic emotions.. we are the process of healing our selfs. I’m on the next chapter I’m my story, I’m beginning to understand all of my healing and not forgetting but overcoming an knowing I do got it, I will be ok, I don’t understand the lesson but will study it until I can know that I am worth the loving the unhealed version of me too… I will love me all my shattered n broken pieces, I guess one day at a time. To be continued

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Bipolar depression is a type of mood disorder characterized by episodes of both mania and depression. It is a more severe form of depression compared to major depressive disorder. In bipolar depression, individuals experience intense highs or manic episodes, during which they may feel extremely energetic, euphoric, or irritable. These manic episodes are followed by periods of intense sadness, hopelessness, and low energy, known as depressive episodes. Bipolar depression requires proper diagnosis and treatment for management.

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Being stable - Euthymia?

What does Euthymia feel like? I think I am finally finallly coming down from a (hypo)manic episode after like 6 weeks + of being manic. The hyper sexuality has been really bad and I’m finally feeling like I can fucking think straight. I noticed today I’m feeling kind of blunted, anhedonic, I read that can happen with Euthymia. I recall feeling like this many times in my life. I thought I knew what it felt like to be stable but I don’t fucking know anymore.

Is this just like a mania hangover? Lol. Is this Euthymia? Is this as good as it gets? Am I mildly depressed? Feeling a little anxious, dreading going back to work. I fucking hate being bipolar. My coworkers are going to think I’m fucking insane.

How do I explain my complete 180 personality change? I’m typically bubbly and outgoing. But I don’t even know who I am anymore. I guess as I say all of this it does sound a bit like depression. But that’s not great either because that means I’m still cycling from mania to right to depression and will probably go right back to mania.

I love when I’m euphorically manic. I feel on top of the world. I’m outgoing and extroverted. Bubbly and so attractive. Everyone loves me and thinks I’m so funny. I feel so confident. I make everyone happy. I do everything right. I’m productive. I’m a better spouse and mother. I am just a better version of myself but it always fades and it always comes with caveats.
#Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarII #BipolarIIDisorder #Mania #Hypomania

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I’m new here!

Hi, my name is Lauren M.
I’m here because I need support. I’ve spent over half my life suffering in silence alone. I’m coming down from a manic episode lasting five days without any sleep or any rest. I would really appreciate any help and support right now. Thank you for all being a part of this community.
#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #Addiction

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Feeling manic…advice wanted

I’ve been rapid cycling daily for weeks now. Ugh. Hate to admit it. Mania feels so good sometimes. But it can be dangerous. On a ‘whim’ tonight I tried on $5,000 worth of evening dresses (that I cannot afford nor have a need for). Felt great and fed my mania. I didn’t buy anything thankfully. Anyone have tips on managing a bipolar I manic episode?


I'm new here!

Hi, my name is kidsareok43. I'm here because my son who is bipolar1 was off his meds, getting high and just avoided a hospital stay. He is still exhibiting manic symptoms just want tips to help him handle the strange thoughts and he is making statements that don't make sense. He is working out 3x a day and golfing, quit both jobs and talkative which is not the norm. They have him on two meds and he has a sleeping med which he took and thankfully slept 7 hours.


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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Kellzgirls1415. I'm looking for information on how to get social security. I NEED IT!! I haven't worked since before COVID. Since then my mental health has been at its highest due to a lot of traumas I've endured since Nov 2021. I can barely care for myself cuz I'm either going 1000000 miles a minute annoying everyone or I just sleep and sleep and sleep, I hate it.

My kids get neglected on those downer days but on my manic days ,which are not as often as the down days, I have said things, my tone with people gets really bad, I start 5 projects and don't complete any of them, I start freaking out, start to get overwhelmed so bad I just flip and seriously I don't even freaking remember what I said or how I was reacting. I have done this in front of my little girls. It's embarrassing, once I come down and calm down it hits me what just happened but it is what it is, I can't help it, it's so difficult to control once I reach a point it's Bam....but usually like a couple days prior to a manic episode I warn everyone cuz I feel it coming.

I've been the Victim in a domestic violence and 2 separate assault cases since Nov 2021. Since then my Mom passed from COVID last January, got evicted cuz it was in my abusers name and landlord threw ALL me n my little girls things away. Then come to find out it was illegal for him to do that since his attorney didn't show to court the judge dismissed the case but he still pitched it all, girls beds, toys, all their memories, every picture i had of anyone in my life, my jewelry, my dad's coins, my mom's plant and angel from her funeral, even my 14 yo dog I had cremated with her toys rope fur and collar and tags, baby books, all their records from when they were born....everything!! Since my abuser and I had a no contact order I was not aware of this at that time. The landlord kept saying I had to my things out but I had nowhere to take it, the jeep got repoed during this time as well so had no vehicle, no job, no money, no income and this was only 2 months my mom passed, then he abuse and sexual assault(in my sleep-found videos) I did not press those charges as I should have.

Well I was denied housing even tho I was homeless and a victim they used my criminal misdemeanor charges against time ever arrested in my life they held against me. I've been homeless since. I wasn't working cuz he didn't want me to work and made plenty for us to live comfortable.

Well I've lived in 15 different places since, I am really struggling. Ready to give up. I have to file for it so I have some income. Now I'm not no POS I've worked my entire life since 15yo, I'm 44 now. When I got with my girls Dad, he manipulated me, the narcissist that he is, and I went from having everything to nothing in less than 2 years and I MEAN everything(even my babies).

He was a huge influencer (yes I take responsibility for my actions I am an adult just was bad time) at a very vulnerable time in my life.


Coming off antipsychotic medication. Positive or risk?

#BipolarDisorder #MentalHealth #Depression #Mania

Hi everyone,

I've only just come out of a near year long depression, which I never realised I was in so deep. I just plodded along each day, because it's all you know when it's what you've experienced before. I was so low that I became fixated to the idea I was a failure and forgot about the times I had previously come out of the other end. I lost my confidence and couldn't connect to the world. A few weeks ago I felt the heavy weight lifted and applied for jobs. I received offers from all 5 interviews I attended and decided to take two part-time positions.

Overall I'm really proud of myself because I love working. I do many hours as I'm based in healthcare. I forgot what an important part routine plays in bringing stability. I now feel a sense of pride and actively engage in communication with others, as I have something I can discuss without saying I woke up, walked the dog and watched TV. I'm still not where I want to be in life, but it's a start. It's a change. I feel like I'm back.

I do always feel a sense of guilt after a bipolar episode, whether it is manic or depressive. I've asked myself why didn't I get a job sooner...? Why didn't I get healthy and use my time productively...? Why did i isolate...? The simple answer is that I just couldn't. The simplest of things are impossible. But I try not to dwell and move on. I feel positive, settled and optimistic.

The slight concern I do have at this present moment is that I worry I may be hitting an episode of mania. I've had a few physical health issues and decided to come off my antipsychotic medication. I've been on them a few years and I've got fed up of being overweight. Never an issue before taking this type of medication. I feel great. I still take a mood stabiliser. I can't currently sleep, even when tired after working long mixed shifts. I've lost weight. I've broke up with my long term partner (many issues of being let down and them not wanting to actively engage in the relationship). I still care for them but I actually don't appear too bothered or upset. I'm actually excited to leave and start a fresh.

There's a lot of positives happening in my life, but I do worry if I've risked my stability in stopping the antipsychotics. I kind of feel too good for somebody who has been depressed for the best part of a year. My life has been flipped upside down, and I'm actually fine with it.

Can anyone share their experiences of coming off antipsychotics after long use. And has it been beneficial in staying stable or have they had to go back on them due to becoming unwell again?

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Fighting for our lives everyday

Like many of you, I fight for my life each day. Even good days bring the fear of slipping back into old habits. I’m coming out of a manic phase and trying to bounce back from the darkness of depression (the other end of bipolar disorder). September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. We must keep fighting. There is hope, there is help. Visit I volunteer with NAMI & it has helped me tremendously. Today is a down day. Tomorrow will be better. 🌞

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