Mania

I got to talk to my husband. He explained that his feelings are hurt but he doesn’t blame me. I have to allow space for that even though it is hard. He says I am starting to seem a little more like myself. It makes me sad that I am starting to seem more like myself when I am depressed. But I do feel more rational than when I was manic/mixed. I hate to hurt him but I can’t help it. I am doing everything I can to prevent this shit. Taking my meds regularly. Having a regular sleep schedule and routines. I’m in therapy. I use coping skills.

But I’m stressed from work and personal stuff. I just had a baby. And the seasons are changing. I can’t always control these mood swings and it’s hard when that reality hits. I just hope to god this new psychiatrist can help me. My old one is an idiot and honestly is actually probably why this happened. I told her I was struggling with mania and she gave me a medication that wasn’t going to help (and a bunch of other sketchy bs) so I didn’t take it. So I didn’t get the early intervention I needed and tried to get.

#Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders

I have been in a nonstop cycling of episodes since August (trigger being cutting narcissistic mother out of my life). In a mixed episode, leaning more depressed rn. My perception of reality changes so drastically when I am manic, depressed, and in a mixed state. It’s so hard to describe to others who aren’t bipolar. My husband doesn’t seem to listen or believe me. He takes it all so personally. I say things I don’t mean and when I try to backpeddle and explain it’s just my fucking bipolar I think he thinks I’m fucking lying.

I’m so exhausted. I can’t take care of him, myself, and my daughter. I don’t have anything to give I’m just trying to keep afloat I wish he could understand better. I’m under so much stress in my personal and occupational lives. I can’t get good sleep rn because of my baby. So i dont know what tf to do. I don’t feel like I have anyone to look out for me or take care of me. Very minimal support. I just need him to understand. I feel so out of control and scared.

#Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarDisorder #MoodDisorders #Mania #Depression

Process of healing your entire past life an all scars left behind, becomes way to much. Past the point of uncertain hope of ever being or feeling like there is hope. A real chance at proving it won’t be another one of your manic- panicked choices to have boundaries or know my worth. Only after my terrible experience happens.. sometimes life is less complicated if we live a day at a time, but then we are unprepared for the inevitable. So if it’s gonna take place in hy not let it be. But letting it be triggers the truma of my unhealed version. The place I pushed so far down it screams from the dark side within.. HEALING “ is it really possible, no it’s more like we overcome the terrible experiences we become stronger so we can defeat the manic panic emotions.. we are the process of healing our selfs. I’m on the next chapter I’m my story, I’m beginning to understand all of my healing and not forgetting but overcoming an knowing I do got it, I will be ok, I don’t understand the lesson but will study it until I can know that I am worth the loving the unhealed version of me too… I will love me all my shattered n broken pieces, I guess one day at a time. To be continued

What does Euthymia feel like? I think I am finally finallly coming down from a (hypo)manic episode after like 6 weeks + of being manic. The hyper sexuality has been really bad and I’m finally feeling like I can fucking think straight. I noticed today I’m feeling kind of blunted, anhedonic, I read that can happen with Euthymia. I recall feeling like this many times in my life. I thought I knew what it felt like to be stable but I don’t fucking know anymore.

Is this just like a mania hangover? Lol. Is this Euthymia? Is this as good as it gets? Am I mildly depressed? Feeling a little anxious, dreading going back to work. I fucking hate being bipolar. My coworkers are going to think I’m fucking insane.

How do I explain my complete 180 personality change? I’m typically bubbly and outgoing. But I don’t even know who I am anymore. I guess as I say all of this it does sound a bit like depression. But that’s not great either because that means I’m still cycling from mania to right to depression and will probably go right back to mania.

I love when I’m euphorically manic. I feel on top of the world. I’m outgoing and extroverted. Bubbly and so attractive. Everyone loves me and thinks I’m so funny. I feel so confident. I make everyone happy. I do everything right. I’m productive. I’m a better spouse and mother. I am just a better version of myself but it always fades and it always comes with caveats.
#Bipolar2 #BipolarDepression #BipolarII #BipolarIIDisorder #Mania #Hypomania

Hi, my name is Lauren M.
I’m here because I need support. I’ve spent over half my life suffering in silence alone. I’m coming down from a manic episode lasting five days without any sleep or any rest. I would really appreciate any help and support right now. Thank you for all being a part of this community.
#MightyTogether #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Depression #ADHD #Addiction

I’ve been rapid cycling daily for weeks now. Ugh. Hate to admit it. Mania feels so good sometimes. But it can be dangerous. On a ‘whim’ tonight I tried on $5,000 worth of evening dresses (that I cannot afford nor have a need for). Felt great and fed my mania. I didn’t buy anything thankfully. Anyone have tips on managing a bipolar I manic episode?