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New jargon

I have terms for depression and elation but these are based on mental states to do with attention - dispersed or concentrated states. It is how the mind advances or retreats from the challenges of life. It's not just mania or depression but involves sleep and wakefulness or rest and activity, thought or action. Nothing is constant even if we sometimes fool ourselves into believing it is.

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The Spectrum of Reality, which we are all on

The law of opposites helps you understand reality through contrasting states.

On / Off (Binary)*

Passive / Active

Construction / Destruction

Chaos / Order

Confusion / Clarity

Thought / Action

Conscious / Unconscious

Mania / Depression

Sleep / Wakefulness

Memory / Imagination

Extroversion / Introversion (see also recent post here mentioning internalisers and externalisers as modern update on these terms used by psychoanalyst movement but giving details of recognisable behaviour patterns and my post on the Pagan site on The Mighty, The Systemic Universe / Two Worlds Exchange).

For instance it can also include being on the cusp of a decision, driven by emotion (fear / excitement); speedy action versus careful thought, which is projection as opposed to introspection (old age is less hasty in action than youth as it has learned through the experience of life that the young do not as yet have): Doers are not grounded (dissipated attention) as much as thinkers are (concentrated attention). The young are therefore more likely to be rebellious than the old, who will be more conformist, that is organised as opposed to being expedient in thought.

Destruction is unwillingness to be responsible for something as construction is turning thoughts into reality.

Balance or the middle path is expressed in an old saying about consulting doctors diet and fast, exercise and rest. In other words it is about not over-thinking or under-acting etc. There is no right or wrong way, just being in the position you are in now, with regards to your journey through life / existence.

* See epilepsy treatment where left and right halves of brain were separated and one hand would carry out an action and the other would immediately countermand it.

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Anybody else feel like this

I recently reconnected with a friend we lost touch because I was becoming like my mother. My mother is narcissistic and toxic to say the least. I’ve been in therapy for years I’ve worked on myself not to become like her. I would confide in my friend when my mom and her boyfriend would be mean or toxic to me. In hindsight I didn’t message her about much else. I’ve been having hypo manic episodes for a couple of months my therapist says it’s most likely due to stress. I try so hard not to be like my mom but what if I can’t? What if my mom ruined me and I’m broken beyond repair and I can’t stop being toxic. I’ve been trying so hard and my friend won’t message me back and hasn’t for a few days. She sometimes forgets to respond cause she doesn’t use social media that much but what if it’s me? Did I screw everything up because she’s thinking I just use her to vent? Is this just paranoia talking? Anybody else with bipolar 2 disorder feel broken beyond repair?

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Helping Our Helpers 💚

Full Disclosure - am a MH Consumer & Advocate writing on my own accord, with no affiliation whatsoever to media, government or activist groups and am a private citizen employed as a Truck Driver who wants to empower our Mental Health #treatment community so they can continue saving lives and lifting up society.

When it comes to #mentalwellness , Forced Therapy can be Compassionate Therapy. Heard this in an Audiobook yesterday by DJ Jaffe, put another way, something along the lines of "We may much rather have forced treatment than forced criminal incarcerations" - because many people in prison, may never have been diagnosed yet. People living with Severe Mental Illness are 20-1 times more likely to end up in prison than in a hospital. In order to protect both our vulnerable Mental Health #patients and our vulnerable Public, we must adopt Mental Wellness focused legislation similar to, the H.R.3717 Helping Families in Mental Health #Crisis Act of 2013, and go yet the further, empowering our Mental Wellness Professionals individually to have legal authority, for self certifying Need Of #Therapy Orders, including and not limited to, IVC & AOT.

Many people discover incremental improvements in their Mental Wellness Journey before being fully recovered, which is when some often suddenly begin refusing treatment, ghosting their dedicated Mental Health Team. As if the diagnosis was some misunderstanding or maybe they've been cured. This recede and withdraw phase, remains not some new phenomenon or an independent decision, rather it is part of the process, we must continue working through towards healing. The unfortunate reality is however, when we prioritize Patient Rights over Patient Health, we end up losing both; with many of these Patients falling into the same downward spiral - that recurring and worsening of their Mental #suffering ; leading them to Unaliving themselves, Drug Addictions, Public Outbursts, Unemployment & Rising Crime, which become a burden to Family Members, Themselves and to Society.

Organizations like APA, MHA, MHLG, NASW, NAMI, NABH, NCMW, NIMH, SAMHSA, TAC, THE MIGHTY and others, can help our Civilization with structured healing only when we let them. Otherwise, we continue to actively accept rising Drug Addictions, spreading Crime Rates, climbing national Unaliving Statistics and out of control Growing Poverty, into our very own neighborhoods and schools.

At some point, many Mental Health Consumers can enter an expected phase, where they become counterproductive, even asserting rights, to refuse continuing safe and effective Treatment, unless they are deemed a threat to themselves or others in a scheduled Court Hearing. Sadly, Hearings remain very time consuming when there are only minutes available, rather than weeks. When a Psychotherapist finally finds out a Patient is going through a combative withdrawal phase, planning an Attack or Unaliving themselves, it’s often already too late for scheduling Court Hearings to obtain an IVC or AOT order.

So we end up with hurt or worse, Victims, many of whom come to us for help. All it takes, to become a threat to injuring oneself or others; is that single Event, a Personal Crisis or Manic Episode, maybe some observed Social Media Post, an Intrusive Thought or even a Snap Impulse.

Short of the Federal or Municipal Government putting forward a much needed program of regularly introducing the continuous supply of SSRi and/or an Antipsychotic solution into our Water Treatment Facilities across the nation to benefit public health, our growing Crime Rates and our random Violence are becoming the new normal. While our Mental Health Professionals are handcuffed, in literal red tape, under "Patient Rights" - they still somehow carry this very heavy onus; or Crystal Ball, to be the ones who ring alarm before a grenade suddenly rolls across the busy office floor.

Reasonably, we don't allow intoxicated people to make decisions behind the wheel of a vehicle. So when does it make sense to have Mental Health Patients, who are naturally unaware of therapeutic benefits in Psychology and Psychiatry; making decisions to refuse, cancel or even ghost, their needed Mental Health Therapy?

It cannot be guaranteed that the Patient is even remotely aware what incidents may occur for themselves or others nearby, or even what is going on at the time, when doing so.
"Comprehension of important Medical Information'' and the "ability to keep a Safe Environment" - currently, stipulate whether your next possible Serial Outburst, gets treatment or not. They may lack the capacity to make responsible decisions hours after an interview, during a depressive or manic episode, where their brain chemicals do not function in the predicted way, causing them to suddenly snap. We don't have to continue inviting this.

Enabling our Mental Health Professionals to help and empower our Mental Wellness and SMI Consumers, is a two way street. We must remove bureaucratic red tape and allow our Mental Health Professionals to exercise their own Professional Judgment, having Discretionary Authority, without needing time consuming Court Orders, when providing on ground responsive Emergency Care, for Clients during their next sudden Crisis Event - as it happens - not after. This is how we streamline Mental Wellness. Only then, can we begin to curb random Public Outbursts, Terrorism, Road Rage, Domestic Disputes and more. Another positive, would be having too, Migrants, who may be silently suffering with Mental Illness, #PTSD , et cetera - finally being treated, who otherwise would go homeless, unaccounted, undocumented and untreated, left roaming neighborhoods.

And so it remains with great urgency that our Elected Representatives Draft then Pass Legislation, streamlining our Mental Wellness Professionals, with legal power to self certify IVC & AOT orders. This way, we will finally be lowering criminal activities; random violence, daily road rage and even, serial outbursts.

We owe this to both our Public and our Patients, who are actively seeking to improve their #MentalHealth .

Most Sincerely, Patient & Mental Health Treatment Advocate,


Sources; Look Up Your State - Treatment Advocacy Center

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We did it!

We finally moved! We’ve been here a week now. It’s been a struggle but well worth it. I feel good about it and feel safe here. I moved to a quiet neighborhood. People here are real nice, and also mind their business. I feel an array of emotions, mostly positive. I’ve been manic for about a week now, that’s all I have to say for now, I have to go. I’m busy as a bee. Wish me luck.


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Pain in the neck (part 3)

In women it can be hormonal they tell me, disappearing in the mid-fifties, when the menopause cuts in. To me it's an emotional brainstorm, which burns out the computer screen, leaving the sufferer unable to function. Lightning strikes can have the same effect - twitching, memory loss, staring blankly into space, like you're in a trance. Everything speeds up - urination, defecation etc. until the body reaches a climax, whereupon it collapses back down again into stillness and the mind into silence. It's almost like manic-depression but physical not mental sensitisation followed by de-sensitisation. Freezing during the day - boiling in bed at night, like an overnight heating storage system. Bitter taste before an attack, sweet one after - like insulin kicking in. In fact I think the whole of life is like one, gigantic migraine attack youthful discharge, followed by collapse into old age's illness and decay: Inability to keep food down, loss of memory and awareness - dementia as the equivalent state of migraine delirium, where you lose contact with the real, solid world and drift away into serial dreaming, contacting dead others, like you.

When I first took pills that worked, I could feel my body reacting as the chemical imbalances were corrected. Half an hours sleep and I was right as rain but it was only effective with mild attacks because during severe ones I couldn't keep anything down. Taking showers was something else though. I could feel every drop of water on my skin as though it were hail stones, such was the effect of the mould derivative on my nervous system.

When I went to the dentist, he said I suffered from bruxism. What's that I asked, incredulously? 'Teeth grinding - everybody who has migraines, does it.' he assured me.

'Oh?' I responded.

'Yes, it's the suppressed anger' (as if I didn't know!).

He suggested a gum guard like boxers use, in order to stop it. Worn overnight he said, it would stop the teeth crunching and therefore the pressure in the jaw that led to the headache (That was the theory anyway).I tried it once but it was like trying to go to sleep with an apple in your mouth, so I soon dumped it as impractical and uncomfortable.

Before an attack my skin would crawl as though it was brushing up against cobwebs. My shins got so itchy that I'd scratch them until they bled. I'd also get this funny prickling sensation on my left shoulder and a high pitched whistling in my ears. My doctor said it was probably wheat intolerance. What about all the tension in my back and other joints and the only relief I got was by cracking them? Gas, he said. And the rheumatoid arthritis after an episode? None of this is related to the migraine but is a separate issue, according to him. We'll put you on so-and-so, which should soon sort it out (It didn't, anymore than his answers satisfied my curiosity).

I believe as I said earlier, this proves it's some kind of accumulation/ discharge problem, showing up as the hot/ cold difficulty, body tension and relaxation, plus other polar opposite symptoms: This includes the static I'm prone to, when I touch plastic handrails or pull off my jumper, made of synthetic materials (The spark across my nose is shocking, just shocking!).

I tend to drop things after an attack because I'm not aware I'm holding them. The doctor said its possibly nerve damage or blocked blood vessels as a result of the migraine. This and slurred speech, memory loss etc. indicated signs of minor strokes but not to worry (Apparently all these mini-strokes can build up into a major one in later life, which can kill you and this is the real danger with migraines, even if the attacks disappear in your mid-fifties as with most people: Personally I wish I hadn't found this bit out ).

Life is a pain in the neck and then you die, recover, forget all about it, then die again, in an endless cycle of hope and despair. Such is life.

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Reasons for living…


I’ve been dealing with a lot of emptiness recently. I’m a mum of three beautiful, wonderful boys and a lot of the time if not all of the time I live for them. It it is getting very chalky for me now. I get triggered by a lot of things especially when it comes to my relationship with my partner. I cause arguments because I thought about something that happened last year (for example) and my mind goes on a crazy trip and I start overthinking everything that happened on that day a year ago. Normally the relationship is pretty good, but since my partner suffers from bipolar1 disorder it can get tricky rosey when he is going through his manic episode. It’s like he’s completely different person. He does things that really hurt me and because of my BPD it is very hard for me to let go of things even though I know he has done those things because he was unwell and didn’t mean them. I’ve only been diagnosed with recently it and I still find it very hard to understand but I also was expecting my partner to be more supportive but instead I get the “get a grip” or “stop feeling sorry for yourself”. We spoke about me having it before I was diagnosed but he always made me feel like it’s not important, like my feelings are invalid and because I didn’t have diagnosis he just told me to “man up” basically and deal with life. Today we had an argument (that really and truly didn’t even have to be an argument if he just left it alone…) and he told me that he gives me 6 months to fix up or he will leave me. It’s like he expect me to just get rid of everything in going through in 6 months. And when I said I don’t think I can do it in 6 months he started saying I’m being negative and I use everything as an excuse…. It really hurts and it makes me literally not wanting to be here anymore. I feel worthless, like a nobody. Half the time I fight the urges to SH. Since I had my third son 2 years ago things has been getting worse and worse, I’ve had to call emergency services few times (my partner only knows about two times but there were about 8). I don’t have any hobbies, I don’t seem to find anything I like or love. It’s like I’ve lost myself somewhere and I can’t find myself anywhere ….
I don’t have anyone to talk to about it, I thought that he would be the person I could talk to since he himself deals with mental health problems but unfortunately I was wrong. It made me not wanting to talk to him about my problems or emotions, literally feeling myself slowly closing and isolating from him and everyone else. Bad enough I don’t have many friends because of how I am, I’ve got one good friend but I only see her once a week. And to be fair she’s always there for me but I’m starting to feel like a burden to her. My parents think I’m seeking attention so of course they don’t even want to hear about my problems or anything like that. I’ve got help from doctors but even that feels like I’m just doing too much and being dramatic. I’ve called them about three or four times last week just because I was feeling overwhelmed with my feelings. My feelings get so intense I literally don’t know how to deal with them…

Sorry if everything is written poorly but I’m writing this while feeling like poop so … my eyes are a bit swollen too from crying, probably gonna have little ping pongs instead of eyes tomorrow 😂 also sorry for long message! I didn’t realise it was this long 🥲

I hope everyone is having a great day/night, wherever you are in the world! ❤️❤️

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #Depression

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The Sun Always Rises

Having bipolar for 23 years now I am used to the highs and lows and for the past 2 months it has been a mix of both that has required much strength on my part. Today I celebrate the victory of being on my own for 3 weeks and feeling hopeful without fear only peace. I thank God for this grace because only he knows what my mind has put me through. I have been hospitalized countless times and always lived with a caretaker or mate. If someone would have told me, I would be on my own and feeling this wonderful with a heart full of love and a spirit of freedom back then it would have been unimaginable. I chose this picture to post because it shows the beginning of a new day and reminds me that the sun always rises. I have to thank The Mighty and all of you who have sent me encouragement and support and shared your stories for me to relate and feel included with. I don't know how long I will have this amazing feeling and outlook without being manic or depressed, but I am celebrating today for what I do feel and to let all of you know there is always hope and the sun always rises. God bless and stay Mighty! #wearemighty #bipolarbear

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Living with Bipolar Disorder: Distractions #BipolarDisorder #colouring

What do you do to distract you from whatever it is Bipolar is throwing at you? Do you have different responses when you are Manic to when you are Depressive? What do you find works best for you and what doesn’t? Please let me know in the comments.
I sometimes feel relaxed colouring. I have a pad of ‘Sugar Skulls’ like Mexican masks for Dia da Los Muertos. I sporadically spend some time on them but when I do I thoroughly enjoy doing so.
#MightyTogether #BipolarDepression #bipolarmania

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