How can I still be alive after everything I've been through
#Depression I'm sure I have shared different fractions of my life over time, but sometimes I feel the need to think about and share my crazy journey. One thing is for certain, time doesn't always heal all wounds but it sure does shine a mega spotlight on how strong and steadfast I have had to be, to just exist in this crazy, unpredictable journey called life.
Despite everything I've been through, God was and continues to work in my life. He has been and will continue to be at work in the lives of those who have a personal relationship with Jesus. The big picture may not seem clear right now, but He is opening doors of blessings and opportunity for so many people, but He also closes doors that He knows are not what is best for me and certain people right now. The difficult part is trusting His perfect timing. Keeping the faith, when we want to throw in the towel. I am reminded that NOBODY knows suffering better than Jesus. While that breaks my heart, it's also my greatest source of hope!So here is that message I wanted to share, I hope it gives some insight and I pray it touches your heart, even if in a small way.❤ "I am 46 years old. I've been married to my husband Paul for 24 years. (but we've been together since 1995) We have 2 children, Stephanie is 22, and Sam 21. I know that over the past 22 years God has used my chronic health issues to grow my faith and He continues to use it as a doorway to share my faith with so many people! My conditions can be all-consuming. I pray every day for a miracle, for God to perform a miracle for me, for everyone. I pray that God will cure me of ALL my health conditions which include: Gastroparesis, Fibromyalgia, Pseudotumor Cerbri, Lupus, Lupus Anticoagulant, Iron-deficiency Anemia, Hypercoagular syndrome (a blood clotting disorder), Antiphosperous Lipid Antiviral syndrome (another blood clotting disorder), CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome), IBS-D (irritable bowel syndrome with diarrhea), Uric Acid kidney stones, A brain tumor, meningioma, (albeit benign as of my last MRI, but I still have to get it checked regularly to make sure it's not metastasizing), Raynaud's syndrome, DDD,(degenerative disc disease) Type 2 Diabetes, Depression, Anxiety, and the list goes on...Over the last 23 years (basically, since I had my kids) I have suffered from ongoing health issues. I had double hernia surgery, my gallbladder removed, my appendix removed, ovarian cysts that ruptured & removed, dozens of surgeries to remove kidney stones w/ stents placed in both ureters. Lithotripsy to crush large stones, multiple times, on both sides. Right knee surgery to replace my ACL. Left-hand surgery to repair a break and dislocation to my pinky finger. Surgery on my left thumb bc of a bad infection (where they had to remove my whole thumbnail), I've also been on (first-from 2015 Coumadin since 2005, when I was diagnosed with my blood clotting disorders. Then I began taking Xarelto last year.
A lumbar shunt was FINALLY put in my brain.