mentalbattles

Hi guys. I am 29, girl from South East Europe.
I have been battling for more then a decade now with depression, anxiety and serious mood swings. When people meet me, no one would ever suspect that in my mind I have constant fights as I am great at hiding it.

I have been trying to finish my Uni degree in field I dont like. I am left with 3 exams to pass out of 33 total. My studt is now on its 9th year. I want to finish it but my mind is not giving me. It sounds ridiculus but thats how it feels every day :(
I moved out from my big toxic family when I started working 4 years ago and thought it will help but nope.

I am so tired of fighting with my mind so tired of all this and I do not know what to do. Hundress of mental health text read, therapy for 4 years and nothing.

I am scared to start with medication as I have had friends get too dependent on it.

Simply I am lost and do not see how to move forward if only pain and battle is ahead.

And worst part: when I tell ppl about it they just say but look at ur life! There is nothing to be depresses/sad about, ur life is great comparing to what others go trough and they are right - which makes even worst feeling in my heas.

#Depression #Anxiety #University #tired #mentalbattles

I really want to go back to meditating at night before bed to relieve my anxiety and stress. #Anxiety #Mentalhealthfitness #Meditation #mentalbattles #warrior #Adviceplease

The rush of emotions I had today was crazy. We all know what I have going on, but to have my husband have a bit of a scare...

That's where I was strong all through the process and then I got home last night exhausted, so I slept a bit. Then this morning when I first woke up I was strong. I knew I could handle what was coming.

The catch is as soon as I got the ok and all clear, my hubby can come back home. I felt the sigh of relief quickly followed by a flood of all the emotions I wanted to have as everything was actually in motion.

This is how I was trained. As a very young girl I had to know how to get through emergency situations without panic or disregard. My mom had horrible uncontrolled type 1 diabetes. I knew how to dial 911 at the age of two and how to not overreact when an ambulance showed up at about four.

However, this is where I also learned, after it is said and done... have a mental breakdown. Not only for all the incredible stress we have going on in life right now, like so many do during this time of year. It brought me back to remembering how I learned to be a calm cool cat... my mom.

Finally, I am trying to rest with no success. My mind won't stop and the tears have been coming and going uncontrollably today. I feel my funk setting in. I've had enough and I'm about to crack (at least the titanium will hold most of me together), I'll be fine, it just might take some time.

#iamstrong #EDS #EhlersDanlos #alwayslookingforward #mentalbattles #MentalHealth #scoliosissurgery #fusedfromskulltopelvis #Recovery #igotthis 💪 #strength