meditation

This year, I chose to stay home over the holidays. I didn’t choose to stay home because I don’t love my family or because I didn’t want to see them. I chose to stay home for the sake of honoring my emotions.

As someone who struggles with mental health issues, being around multiple people at once can have a tremendous effect on me—and not a positive one. My family is aware of my conditions, but they don’t always know how to respond to my emotions, let alone understand why I feel the way I do. So before large gatherings, I tend to become anxious, panicky, and overwhelmed.

This year, I’d already been feeling an increase in my anxiety before the party even began, and that was the only indicator I needed to make my decision. Some guilt arose while I was in the process of deciding to stay home, but I knew I would only benefit in the long run.

Here are the three key things I told myself to help curb the guilt I experienced as a result of choosing to stay home rather than participate in holiday celebrations with my family.

I don’t owe anybody anything.

I can’t take the reactions of others personally.

I need to trust my gut.

Whenever i had overwhelming emotion i meditate. #PTSD #Meditation #Trauma #Guilt #MentalHealth

Ugh! its morning again??!!

As someone with OCD and GAD there are many mornings I wake up afraid to get out of bed. My brain starts its "what if" generator specifically curated for the day - if I'm working its "what if I don't do a good enough job today," if there is a doctor's appointment its "what if I'm late" - even visiting the hair salon can be a stressor, "what if I don't like the cut and have to tell my stylist..." Hooray for Anxiety!!!

And as soon as the "what ifs" start so do the heart palpitations and the sweating, etc. etc. etc...

Needless to say I have never been a huge fan of mornings but like everyone else I have to get out of bed (sometimes more sloth-like than human) and start the day. I needed to find a coping tool to make this process a little easier for me.

I have used a form of meditation for many years but it wasn't until 2019 that I became a regular practitioner. Now every morning when the "what ifs" start and my body responds with its "fight or flight" business, I have a method to quiet both body and mind. My morning meditation is simple and requires little time. However, the beauty of this mental practice as I have learned after further research is that meditation is limited only by your own creativity and personal preferences. One can incorporate words, music and even nature sounds to name a few variations.

Getting back to my personal morning mediation - its basic but effective for me. All it involves is breathing, counting and focus. I start slowly counting to 100 - taking two deep breaths for each number and focusing only on the inhalation and exhalation of breath. Sounds easy right- not so fast... As anyone with a brain can tell you sometimes the hardest thing to do is maintaining focus on one concept. Every time my mind wanders off my breath - I focus it back on the process of inhaling and exhaling. And I guarantee your mind will wander and wander and you will have to refocus many times in just one session.

But at the end of this simple daily exercise, I find that I am calmer, my body's nervous system a little quieter and it is easier to embrace the day at hand.

The beauty of meditation is that it takes only minutes to learn but a lifetime to master. As a daily practitioner you learn that it is neither a race nor a contest to be won - simply a mental exercise to continue practicing daily. And as a daily practitioner you are rewarded with a calmer, more peaceful demeanor.

If you are interested in learning more about mediation I have listed several good books and apps below - which can be used by beginner to long-time practitioner alike...

Several books to read:

Wherever You Go There You Are - Jon Kabat-Zinn

Meditation is Not What You Think - Jon Kabat- Zinn

Two apps to explore

Calm

Headspace

I wish you peace on your future meditation journey...

#OCD #Anxiety #panic #GAD #Meditation

Here is a link for a guided meditation from Ajahn Brahm.
youtu.be/QKYcMhwIusI

It’s hard been having a lot of anxious racing thoughts to more of an extreme lately I will try doing the worry timer exercise I’ve never tried before and noticing or talking in my mind a little less

It’s good to be self aware of your thoughts but I find lately I’m doing it to an extreme where I can’t stop them

And I’m not very active either
And very bad bedtime routine/ sleep schedules / diet etc

So I hope that adjusting some things will help my anxiousness and mental health right now.

Wish me luck! Thank you 🙏
Have a great day everyone sending positive vibes prayers of hope and love to everyone going through a tough time or needing that extra reminder :)
#anxiousness #nervous #Thoughts #Anxiety #maybeocd #DoingMyBest #Hope #coping #Meditation #emptymind #peace #luck

Every year on January 1st, for the past several years, I've tried to go into the new year feeling "more positive" and all that comes along with that. This past year in particular was so difficult. So hard. I turned 39 in November. When I was 20, I'd been in therapy for 4 years. I put myself into therapy when I was 16 for the myriad issues I had to deal with daily due to childhood trauma and abuse. The #Therapy didn't help. So when I was 20 I decided to give going to therapy religiously #Journaling #Meditation eating better, everything I could think of- I decided I'd do this for 10 years, and if I wasn't better I'd commit #Suicide when I turned 30. Nothing helped, but I got a few new diagnoses, and I ended up NOT committing suicide. Honestly, the reason is because all these people around me are saying "No! Don't do it!" and my favorite lines "You're not alone!" And "I'm here for you if you need anything. Anything at all!" Those statements might be true 1 out of 10 times. And I'm being generous. The disappointment that comes from being let down by these people who make these false promises is unreal. I think it's a knee-jerk societal expectation. Like people say "Hi, how are you doing?" And the response is "I'm fine." Ata the moment this question is asked, the person really is not genuinely concerned with the state of your well-being in that moment. It's just what you say. I'm not even knocking that. It is what it is. I guess i'm just really staying here... to keep other people comfortable. I'm 39. I feel no better than I did when I was 20. My trauma and issues are so complex, most therapists do not have the skill set required to help me. I did find 2 therapists that DID possess those skills. And both of those therapists died. Yeah, not an experience you want to have. And I've experienced a lot of trauma in therapy by people who call themselves #Trauma therapists but actually have no understanding of the true complex nature of complex trauma. Like a doctor calling themselves a Cardiologist when, while they did go to medical school, they never actually specialized in Cardiology. But the doctor thinks the word 'Cardiologist' sounds cool so they've decided that's what they are and dangerously start treating cardiac patients.
There is no one I'd be afraid of "leaving behind" if I died. There's nothing that I'd miss out on, except being chronically depressed. I can't think- in all honesty- of a single person, place, or thing that is keeping me here. No kids, family, friends,... i don't know... real estate? I don't know- no nothing. I am incredibly annoyed today. Another YEAR. 🙄 To this I say, and I mean this with as little enthusiasm and with much anger, yay. Another year of this crap. Another year of my living misery helping other people stay comfortable.