First post, new to the app. Have heard about it before but never explored. However I found myself in a really REALLY lonely place tonight. You know the one that makes you start thinking "why am i here?", "would anyone even miss me?", "I'm just a burden". You get the point. Spining down that dark, dark tunnel that is incredibly hard to crawl out of.
Life has been extra tough and extra lonely lately and a fight with my partner just left me feeling even more damaged and alone. So I thought, why not try to reach out to others? Ppl who get it and probably feel the same at times. I'm in between meds, because I was in between insurance and now I need the new insurance to approve the new meds...and well, you know how that goes. So I'll likely be without the meds I need even longer only making all these feelings worse, because pain and inability to function leads to depression.
The thing my partner said tonight at some point that really got me in the feelz was "thats your doctors job" (about the insurance med approval) I was just blown away because after 3 years of watching this battle, he truly thinks it just the docs job! Like I just sit here while the doc and insurace company have a nice chat about my health and treatment. IF ONLY IT WERE THAT SIMPLE!
Just a nother slap in the face of how truly lonely this journey is. There's a lot more things that happened in the last couple weeks to get me here, obviously. But tonight, that gut punch comment lead me to this place. A place I guess I'm just hoping I can open up, others will take the time to read my insane rants and maybe tell me I'm not alone, even if it feels like it.
If you read this to this point, bless you friend. I'm a wild ride of mixed thoughts and appreciate others like me. Lets be friends. 🥰
#LateNightThoughts #onmymind #lonely #depressionhole #tryingtoovercome