Cherish the memories
Take the pictures. Take the videos.
I moved away from my hometown 12 years ago and lost track of friends. It seems everytime I look for one on Facebook they passed away. Another one today😭
I don't do well with death. I lost my Mom in2005 and still can't think about it.
I made a donation to Brain Cancer group for Giving Tuesday, in honor of my late husband who passed May 2019 after a 14-month fight. Then dissolved in tears for 20 minutes. Grief comes and goes for so long. I miss him every day! 💜💜💜
I'm happy for the diagnosis and treatment plan. I'm also grieving that I'll never be the old me. Things will be different now. I will have a lot of days I'm impaired by #ChronicPain Or #CognitiveIssues Or #Fatigue But was I already working it out before, not well, but yes. Yesterday we gave the demon a name. I'm going to fight, I have to. However, its it's a lot to process. So right now I'm up and down. #ineedhelp #help #Imnotokay #PositiveVibes
Where do I even begin? I am in my room crying. You must of had me fooled from the get go. On February 16th of this year we went on our first date. It was the first tome I had met you in my entire life. Our date, you know the one that lasted an entire almost 12 hours?! I met your family that day too. That was also the day we decided to be together. That night in fact we changed our relationship status’s on social media. Two whole months this month of April on the 16th and now you just up and ghost me. I mean I guess I should of saw this coming.
Yesterday, (4/29) you hadn’t talked to me all day I knew you were busy at work but that wasn’t always like that. You coming up the stairs of your apartment along with your brother who just got kicked out of your moms house( brothers 18) telling me that you had bad news. Me being a person with mental health issues I assumed you were breaking up with me. You told me that wasn’t the case but I needed to pack my stuff up and needed to go back home. I was devastated, I was walking around crying my eyes out because deep down I knew. We had stupid arguments, me faking a smile thinking things were fine all on the way you were bringing me home.
We finally get me home, you drop me off help bring my stuff inside my house, we kiss, tell each other we love them, I tell you I’m gonna miss you. You reply with “You’ll be fine.” You and your brother finally take off in your car down the road.
We had agreed both of us that you would be back up on May 9th to give me the birthday present you supposedly bought for me. Now flash forward several hours. I messaged you a couple times asking you if you were going to leave me and your all like no I won’t. I lastly called you to talk to you on the phone and you had told me you were helping your brother we talked some more and I could tell you didn’t want to be on the phone. Pretty sure you were going to tell me you loved me but I had accidentally hung up on you. I then proceeded to message you to saying that it was an accident that I hung up on you and to talk to me later I was unpacking. This was me apologizing. Went back a few minutes later to check on our message to completely find out that you blocked me. Tried calling you and not obsessively like in my past relationship with my ex, and figured you blocked my number too.
I am so very hurt right now it isn’t even funny. Why did you have to do this to me. Now I’m left wondering why. Why me? Why again? You had said you wanted me to be your forever, but look where are you now. I’m done being hurt. I just legit want to shutdown and to never love again because all of this. I do believe I need to be angry too. #Breakups #heartbreak #whyme #Depression #thissucks #Grief #grievingprocess
It’s not somewhere you ever thought you would be, nor would you have ever chosen. a lot of emotions going on right now, and you’re reading everything you can get your hands on to find out about your child’s diagnosis. Back away from the computer! It’s okay. Take a deep breath and hug your child (if they’ll let you).
I’m here to tell you that there is good news and bad news.
The bad news (because I prefer my bad news first), is that you are going to go through a #grievingprocess . You are going to grieve your #dreams of your perfect child who you thought would have no medical issues or other issues. You are going to grieve what your child has to go through and what the new reality of their life (and yours) is. You are going to be mad, scared, angry, and sad. Take the time to do that.
Be prepared, this is a roller coaster. It’s one you don’t really ever get off. Just when you think things have settled down, a new diagnosis comes up, puberty happens, things that were working suddenly don’t, but there is #help.
The good news is, is that you are about to meet some of the most caring, and wonderful #Community of people you have ever met.
Trust me on this, you want those other #SpecialNeedsParent s as your new best friends. They are who are going to let you in on the secrets of how to get things covered your #Insurance company denies, where to get the best, cheapest and delivered to your door #medicalsupplies and the best #Doctors and #therapists. They will literally save your life more times than you can count.
Make sure you have a really good #pediatrician. They will be at the center of this and you want them the top of their game for your #child.
When you are ready, DO share your child’s #Diagnosis with #Family and #friends. They need to understand what’s going on so they can help you. You need #Support and #understanding. Take those offers of dinner or babysitting. (And if those offers don’t come, this is another reason why you need your new friends, “Special Needs Parents”.) There is nothing to be ashamed of with a diagnosis. It’s just what is. It’s where you are at right now. If you don’t share the diagnosis with your loved ones, the school, church teachers, they don’t know how to support your child. #knowledge is #power. Power to #help, power to have more #patience, power to #understand.
Most of all, know that the diagnosis doesn’t change who your child innately is. They are still your baby who you have loved, the person you have known. This is new territory and one you didn’t expect to find yourself in. Give yourself and everyone in your family some #grace, spend your time grieving and then find your #community. You’ve got this!
(This was written, as a reflection of what I would say to a couple of friends who have joined the ranks of “Special Needs Parents” unexpectedly in the past year, and I wanted to put some thought into what I would say to them if I could sit down with them over a bowl of ice cream.)