grief work

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Fluorescent Lights

Fluorescent Lights in the hall... visible through the window of the room I'm in. ..Emergency Room... Can't... ...breathe. And I'm alone, except for the staff.

All the things I deal with, all the conditions...

I still try to show up for other people... I think... ...

I am not as supported in this life as I thought I was.

This hurts... and it feels like a long, winding dirt road that I could get lost on forever.... but maybe the first step is the hardest?

Have I been so blind... for so long?

Am I enough? To be respected? Loved? What about... cherished?

All I wanted was to be visited, and without expectation. #ER #Asthma #BipolarDisorder #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #RareDisease #BrainAbnormality #GriefWork #SleepDisorders #ThyroidDisease

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Ways to express your grief over the loss of your pet

Here are a few ways you can express your grief over the loss of your pet

#petloss #petlossandgrief #griefandloss #Grief #GriefWork #petgrief



I need advice. My supervisor knows I have learning disabilities and treats me like I’m very very stupid. Due to this over the last three months I’ve been struggling. I’m frustrated by this treatment and whenever I try to talk to anyone, either at work or at home, about this to vent I’m told ‘their retiring don’t worry about it’. I am because I’m burnt out fighting what feels like is an unwinable battle. My goal is trying to get another job so I can quite this one but by the time I get home I’m so tired from having to pretend all day I practically fall asleep. So I’m debating quitting, I have a little bit of money saved, which will enable me to find a much better and healthier job that the one I’m in. I’m frustrated because my parents don’t seem to understand this and keep dismissing me and how my mental health has spiraled.

How do I tell/talk to them about this and explain what’s going on without being disrespectful or be dismissed?

#Anxiety #Depression #Job #MentalHealth #GriefWork #CheckInWithMe

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This quote from the new books I started made me pause, the subject of the book is heavy but very interesting.

A little over three months ago, I tried and failed to end my life. Spending time in treatment and still struggling with ‘what if’ and ‘why’. Recently I’ve realized that I regret reaching out for help. Letting others help me carry some of the weight that’s been crushing me. That everything would have been better had I remained silent.

I honestly have no idea why I reached out. Hearing this like ‘it’s gets better’ etc are frustrating to me. More so now that before everything. I’ve watched my life fall apart after graduating college almost ten years ago. I have a job, for clarification. However it was this job, more so the promotion I received, the supervisor I had, and the emotional/mental abuse I dealt with for 5 months that resulted in the hospital stay.

I know the world is starting to open up and things are moving in the right direction but I’ve felt very lost and alone for years. I love what I majored in, but after covid I doubt I’ll be able to realistically persue this. I don’t want to give up on this dream (it’s honestly like the last one I have), my family has given up and talks like my currently job is it for me.

I don’t think treatment worked… I don’t think taking my own life is selfish. I think I’m just done fighting for an existence I don’t want.

#Depression #SuicidalThoughts #SuicideOnTheBrain #Suicide #CheckInWithMe #Anxiety #GriefWork #lost



I am finally facing my stress levels by learning how to relax. With breath work, meditation and exercise. I no longer drink alcohol and try to eat healthy every day.
Slowly, I hope to become a calmer me. More centred, grounded. In the moment and okay. My husband died almost 18 months ago and I'm raising our son who needs his mother in good shape. Mentally and physically. I am looking forward to the coming weeks and months. To where Im going. It's exciting. Sending love out.
#meditate #JustBreathe #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #GriefWork


Ruby ink

I’m an artist. Arms relaxed, lines precise. I know what I want and I can achieve it. It’s easy. Second nature.

They kept going, their words dagger. They still aren’t listing. This is all my fault. And now they’ve told me no one even cares about me. They don’t even bat an eye. It’s John John care about, they screwed him over, they did him dirty. I’m lucky, I should be thankful. I’m just a third wheel.

Then I realized I have a blank canvas, one I carry everywhere. So I used the talents and began to draw, the lines hard at first. Hand shaking, my tool different, catching the light. Holding my breath it becomes easier, faster the blend together. Ink the only color it comes in, ruby. So dark against the pale color of my canvas. My canvas isn’t complete, but it’s beautiful.

No, they won’t see. Not this art, this is for my eyes only. The lucky and thankful one.

A reminder.

#CheckInWithMe #self -hatred #Selfharm #Depression #Anxiety #GriefWork #Upset


How to be quiet

My boss told me I’m to much, I wear my emotions on my sleeve and people don’t know how to handle me. Now all I want are walls, I don’t want them to touch me, to get near me. I want silence. I don’t have their respect anyway, so why do they deserve my words any more?

After all, I’m too emotional. (Their words not mine)

I hate that they think I wanted this, I didn’t I was so much happier before. Yes I listen and do my job, they thought I wanted this promotion. That’s the problem. No one stopped to consider what I wanted, my happiness.

But now, now they blame me. I’m ungrateful, I’m just one second from a meltdown. I’ve become my mental health...sickness. That’s all they see, not that they made this choice of my behalf. They see my sadness but call me selfish.

I’m taking control back. First my words. Then my job.

#CheckInWithMe #TheSilence #hurting #Anxiety #Depression #sad #alone #MentalHealth #GriefWork