prompt

I love to journal and I love finding prompts to journal about. I just Google the prompts that I'm looking for and I find thousands of them. Tonight's prompt is really making me think. Especially about the positive. I know it sounds negative and pessimistic to say that I tend to think of the negative regarding my situation. I suppose negative thinking and internal dialogues are a normal aftereffect of being abused. But tonight I want to challenge those thoughts by writing something positive. So this brings me to the question: What do I love most about my life? I've never actually put much thought into this question. Maybe there isn't any one answer to this question but I'm going to answer this as best I can.

I tend to focus on the fact that I was abused and abandoned and this leads me to think that there is no good in my life. This isn't true. I love the fact that I can finally and genuinely feel safe. The hyper-vigilance of PTSD is still pretty active especially around people I don't know but now I can tell myself that I am truly safe. I have a family now that would protect me if they needed to. I can rest at night (pretty well) knowing that my nightmares can't hurt me and they aren't as bad as they once were. I love that I can be safe with a few select people and not shut them out because of distrust or fear.

I love that I am loved and wanted. After being abused and abandoned I felt objectified and unwanted. Now though I am expected at family functions and have been told how loved and wanted I actually am.

I love how I can create the life that I want without the fear of being abused again. No longer do I live in fear but I can now live each day as I choose. If I relapse I can show myself grace and love. If I have a healing day then I can celebrate it. I love how I can express myself without fear of retribution. I can be open and honest with myself and others and have my experiences and emotions validated. These might seem like little things so some but they are big things to me.

Just being free from abuse and fear and being able to adjust to life at my own pace means a lot. Like I always say, I am not fully healed but each day I am getting closer to my goal. I may have bad days where I slip up but I also have good days where I can be proud of myself and show myself the love that I always deserved. So I ask you: What do you love about your life? I won't tell you to think positive because I know that toxic positivity can be hurtful. I will tell you to celebrate your life and your accomplishments. You deserve it. Just as I do. I am so glad that I chose this prompt because now I feel more positive and happier compared to earlier. I hope this post inspires someone today. Blessings to you all.

#PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #Hope #Healing #Writing #Love #Life

What do you love most about your life? #prompt

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