On the 28th of may 2022 I tried to end my life by trying to jump off the bridge in my hometown. This is my story. A few months before this I could feel my mental health going down hill, I just tried to brush it off and get on with life I did that until may. I knew my birthday was the month after May and my mental health was so bad I knew I didn’t want to see 22. I had made a plan to jump off the bridge in town I just needed to pick the right date and time. On the 28th I knew I was going to be on a night out so I picked that date. That morning I woke up and I felt like I had genuinely hit rock bottom I’d felt like it for weeks but hid it with a simple smile. I went to work and did the job and clocked out, I went home and got ready to go out. That night I knew was the night I drank a lot but that was part of my plan. After the nightclub ended I became detached from my friends they couldn’t find me I walked alone towards the bridge and in my head I was like I smiled tonight may they all always remember me for being wild and fun. I didn’t cry didn’t smile I had no emotions the minute I got onto the bridge I looked down and I got this feeling I never got before this feeling of all this pains goinb to go away once you jump. I didn’t think of anyone or anything not my mother brothers sisters friends no one all I could think was how better off they are without me. Just as I was going to climb over the Bridge to jump my friend grabbed me and pulled me back I tried to push him off me he went and told the guards and they pulled me and put me into the back of the car and took me home to my mother. This was when I completely broke down to my mother. I completely broke down because I was still here and all I wanted to do was die. My mother was shocked to find out how bad my mental health was and texted my uncle and he came down from Dublin and brought me to limerick a+e where I was seen by a mental health nurse I told him everything and he asked me was I safe to go home I was honest and told him no and he referred me to a psychiatric hospital where I was met by a doctor and I told him everything and he admitted me. The first two weeks were hard very hard the feeling of Rock bottom and hopelessness was so strong I thought I’d never get out of it but I was put on the right medication and I’m starting to feel good again. I wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for my friend, my plan to jump off the bridge and make it look like a drunken mistake had failed and it really is thanks to him. I’m still here 22 now and staying hopeful for a better brighter future and getting better the whole event changed my life forever but I know I do have support and great help. I have a family who loved me and I have friends who love me too. I still have a long way in my journey with counselling, psychology, cbt to treat and help with my ptsd and major clinical depressive disorder. These mental illness will always be apart of my life but I just have to find ways of coping and dealing with them and know when to go to the doctor before it gets worse. But I’m not going to give up I’m going to fight this with all the strength I have, because depression is never ever going to win again!
Thank you for letting me share my story with you all.