rejection sensitivity dysphoria

Recently, I was at a small get-together with close friends. They’re people who I love and trust deeply. The night started out lighthearted, full of laughter, shared stories, and the comfortable commotion that happens when everyone’s voices overlap. But somewhere in the middle of it all, something shifted.

A couple of people, including myself, were sitting in one of the rooms chatting and having fun. Then, all of a sudden, someone started praising one of my best friends, talking about how much they appreciated being around people who “have their life together”—people who aren’t lazy, who stay motivated, and who just handles things well.

I felt like the words were directed solely at me, a subtle dig about not measuring up. My brain immediately twisted the comment into the worst possible version of myself. In that moment, my body ached and felt weak. Tears came before I could stop them, and I had to step outside to find a space to be alone and regain my balance.

I knew I was overthinking it. Logically, it wasn’t an attack. But that didn’t stop the flood of self-doubt from rushing in. Later in the evening, when I left to say goodbye, another comment triggered the same reaction. Someone asked about what I’m doing with my life and said, “I’m glad you’re writing because otherwise I’d ask you what you’re doing?” I immediately interpreted it as criticism, and shame washed over me as if I weren’t measuring up to the standard of “success” others seemed to have.

That’s the thing about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) — it doesn’t care about logic. It amplifies small moments until they feel like earthquakes. A single comment can send your nervous system spiraling, making you feel like you’ve failed some invisible test.

Physically, RSD hits hard. My chest tightens, my palms get clammy, my head feels foggy, and the tears come almost before I can process why. My body reacts as if I’ve just faced a threat, even when my mind knows there’s no danger. It’s exhausting, overwhelming, and intensely personal.

Experiencing moments like these is never easy. My body reacts before my mind can catch up, and my emotions feel bigger than the situation itself. But stepping outside, taking a few deep breaths, and allowing myself to feel — without judgment — is how I regain balance.

RSD may amplify small moments, but it also reminds me that I care — deeply — about connection, authenticity, and the energy I share with others. Learning to navigate it means noticing my triggers, creating space for myself, and practicing gentle self-talk.

It’s a work in progress, and some days are harder than others. But each time I step back, breathe, and honor my feelings, I reclaim a little more of my power and peace.

“Healing begins the moment we give ourselves permission to feel.” - Unknown

#MentalHealth #rejection sensitivity dysphoria #ASD #ADHD #Neurodiversity #Blog

“What’s wrong?” Is a question that really irks me. When I’m feeling down and depressed, this is the last thing that I want to hear. This is most often the case. It triggers me to breakdown the barriers and release a flood of emotions. I don’t enjoy sharing an autistic meltdown in public. However, it is an emotional set-off that I can’t seem to control.

When I feel pressured to answer, I just simply say, “nope, nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.” However, once I say that, I need to retreat to a quiet space. I need to let out the pent up feelings and emotions that I’ve bottled up for so long. Yes, this question is something that people should appreciate. It means that the other person genuinely cares how I’m doing. I just can’t seem to shake off the irritation from hearing those words. It’s like, nothing was wrong until you mentioned it.

The reason I react the way that I do is because everything always seems wrong in my world. When I’m in a major depressive state of mind, that is a question that holds a lot of weight. I often hold everything in. I keep suppressing my feelings until they reach the edges. I’m about ready to fall off the cliff. For years, I’ve done this. I know it isn’t healthy. It isn’t proper self-care, but I can’t help it. There is something within me that hurts immensely deep down. Perhaps there is a lot of compartmentalized situations I’ve yet to deal with. I’m just trying my best to navigate this.

But, how does one change something that has become so much of a natural reaction? I just want to yell, scream, and run. I try my best to numb it out. As I had mentioned, it is a trigger. It’s innate for me to react in ways that are detrimental to the other person. I suppose it’s because I feel a form of judgment or rejection. This situation is an embarrassment to me, and the other person.

I understand that the intention comes from a good place. However, for me, it causes overwhelming anxiety. For someone like me, it doesn’t offer a safe environment to open up and be vulnerable. It instead creates a hostility and discomfort within myself. It certainly is a process, but I’m working on handling these restless and intentional feelings.

So, if you find yourself wanting to ask someone like me what’s wrong, consider a different approach. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

“Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” —Mandy Hale

#MentalHealth #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #rejection sensitivity dysphoria #AutismSpectrumDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Anxiety #Depression