Selective Mutism

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Selective mutism and avoidance

He has never, spoken from his place of accountability or https://repair.He never wanted me included or to be https://equal.I know that now and I deserve better than being shown the https://door.They are expecting me to bounce into their conditions and that will not be https://happening.I am not a project, a object you can toss and put where you want.
I'm a person who needs emotional support, https://simple.A conversation, some compassion and frankly, to be updated on what, was https://missed.Blaming me for the way my mind operates, for how I've been conditioned, no I watched it unfold, kept up and still see the game that is being manipulated against me. I am not the munioulatir for seeing it, calling it out and watching the lies grow. Yes I am aware, was aware and I'm no longer https://playing.Impersonating a therapist and an intake coordinator, a friend named the madhatter, in wonderland, would know the https://difference.Get help, your control issues are showing.

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is asrainey1. I'm here because my daughter has Selective Mutism and Anxiety, as well as migraines. Also, my Grandfather committed suicide, and I'm still figuring that out.

#MightyTogether

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Dissociation to past self?

Wondering if you can dissociate to a “past self” even if you don’t have a dissociative disorder but do have ptsd? Trigger at work led to me feeling like “2025” me left and “2021 me” who felt as if trauma was happening in the moment took over. Accompanied by wide eyed staring, selective mutism, unable to have clear or complex inner monologue. Felt as if a “different me” from the past stepped up - and it’s a version that has been activated several times where I don’t quite feel like my present self. Of note, I may have mild CPTSD as well from childhood emotional neglect, but no intense childhood trauma I’m aware of.

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Joining the autistic dots together

Our extreme sensitivity to touch, smell, taste, sound and light, also explains our reactions to the outside world. Bland food stops us being overwhelmed by taste and probably reflects our digestive problems (the less stimulating our sustenance, the less internal disruption there is). Hay fever reflects this in the area of smell and our nostrils, with sneezing as the attempt to discharge irritants in our mucous membranes. I personally find the smell of lavender and the taste of gin nauseating.

This extreme sensitivity is also reflected in our extreme anxiety in social situations, where we worry about getting things wrong. For instance with regards to job interviews, I never knew what was wanted of me in response to questions (how could I know anything about work I had never carried out?). I was not a bluffer who could lie about abilities I knew I didn't have, unlike most NTs I knew.

Because we doubt ourselves, we learn. We rehearse ahead of time and keep the period before events clear, so that we are not late through having got caught up in other things. We plan meticulously even if reality doesn't reflect what we expected or feared. This is why we like routine - predictability. We need security to overcome our sense of insecurity and paranoia, hence home loving. It probably explains why I like tanks and Daleks as they are protective shells, like suits of armour. It probably explains my obsession with Patrick McGoohan's TV series The Prisoner, a non-conformist rebel.

This state of doubt may explain our problems with identity, including sexual identity as we don't identify with bodies. It may also explain our sleep problems, which in my case involved a childhood incidence of sleep walking and sleep paralysis, plus lucid dreams, which until recently were mostly frightening. It could also explain our driving skills problems (I have only driven twice since passing my test and like with job interviews, it stressed me out so much I avoided it as much as possible).

So enough about the downside of autism (no wonder we get depressed). What are our the plus points? We are conscientious, hard working, problem solvers - intuitive because of our hypersensitivity, which leads to detailed awareness, seeing the needle in the haystack, even if we miss seeing the haystack as someone said on Pinterest. Our literalness means that we are honest and straightforward through innocence. Our selective mutism means that we are good listeners, who don't love the sound of our own voices, tripping over our own egos in the process because we don't look and see reality as it is. I was terrible at maths but confounded my teacher, who always used to pick on me for this reason, one lesson when I solved a problem no-one in the class could because it involved visual orientation. I am my wife's dictionary, encyclopaedia and Who's Who because of my excellent memory, which is dependent upon internal order, reflected by my external environment as well (order within, order without).

By the way we are more cat people than dog people because they are mirrors for our personality traits - independent loners, not those who want to be led around by the nose, obeying the instructions of others.

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Aspergers and Communication (Part 1)

When it comes to the symptoms of Aspergers disease, one area stands out above all others and that is communication. Taking things other people say literally for instance, coupled with not lying, even if it upsets others is because we give honest communication and expect it in return, even if we don't get it (mirroring). We are the little boy, who tells The Emperor that he is naked, not that he is wearing new clothes (not diplomatic).

Selective mutism occurs because we are not sure how to speak to outsiders (non family members). This also ties in with avoiding looking other people directly in the eye, so we don't engage with them, if we don't want to or staring straight at them, to give the impression we are 'normal,' which usually freaks them out more.

Wanting to 'fit in' can lead to over-rehearsed speech in our heads, which sounds cold and robotic. It can also lead to complex speech patterns (long winded / abstruse), aimed at impressing others. We can also miss emotional 'in your face' responses by others because social cues are missed. We can also jump in and interrupt conversations because we think what we have to say can't wait.

The autistic don't know how to speak properly, that is use verbal tools, so fail to moderate volume, tone, rate (speed) or rhythm: Think of setting up setting up amplifiers at a rock concert as well as coordinating a full orchestra or even tuning an individual instrument, in this case the human voice.

We are generally hypersensitive to reality but not always responsive to it: loud noise, bright lights, strong tastes and smells or rough / strange feeling textures can freak us out. Strong concentration may create the illusion that we are insensitive to pain, heat or cold etc but this is not the case, just that we ignore these conditions in our pursuit of our goals, becoming trance-like in such engagements of our attention (only our goals exist, not the outside world).

This severance from reality can lead to clumsiness as in me continually breaking glasses, when washing up (King Alfred burning the cakes because his attention was elsewhere).

We hate being hugged, getting patted on the head as adults do to children or people bumping into us and generally crowding our space, however we can do the same to others when we get caught up in the moment and forget they exist in turn.

Our obsessive interests can lead to self isolation, with little or no interaction with others (home loving / indifference to socialising). Like monks we cut ourselves off from the rest of the world, so that we can concentrate whole heartedly on the task in hand, with as little interruption and disruption to our routines and pursuits as possible (stable environment).

In my case this shows up in world war two tanks, the Daleks, Welsh castles (an English man's castle is his home), filling plastic eggs as a hobby and circling things in the TV guide I want to watch the following week. All these show the urge to contain or hold in / shut out outside influences or interference (defensive barriers or control points as exist within the body, a country's borders or creatures like insects and crabs that have an external skeleton).

I also create collages (mixtures of words and images) plus take photographs with my phone camera, which shows the visual orientation Temple Grandin, the autistic personality, talks about continually in her books and lectures. I have also created a series of books, eight in total, taking English apart and reconstructing it to display its patterns, in columns, which shows my obsession with language and another of our common traits (communication again and understanding words and phrases).

As we are 'Strangers in a strange land' as The Bible puts it, we have a terror of getting things wrong and standing out as outsiders (being ostracised, when we don't choose it). We blunder anyway, so this is not entirely unexpected as a result but like 'Zelig' in Woody Allen's film of the same name, we do our best to imitate those around us and fit in.

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7 Anxiety Disorders Caused By Narcissistic Abuse

The most common targets for social abuse are highly sensitive and emotionally intelligent people who are naturally inclined to behave like humanists. Those with less social power or influence are also likely targets. If you live in a home where abuse is prevalent, you can expect your health to decline and your self-conception to suffer. Being constantly told that you are the problem for reacting to abuse in emotionally intelligent and physically appropriate ways tends to cause a victim's self-identity to suffer. If you are unsure whether you are over-reacting to abuse or if you are justified in being upset when you are being mistreated, lied to, conned, cheated on, beaten, sexually assaulted, threatened, etc., you may already be experiencing symptoms of extreme Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). You could be developing a form of Stockholm Syndrome based on trauma bonding with your abuser. When a trauma bond forms, the biology of the human form tends to do a couple of things. If you are healthy and sane, you will tend to trust your own eyes and ears as well as your own sanity.

Suppose you catch your partner cheating but they end up blaming you? Or an enabler tries to convince you that your abuser loves you in their own way? Or if they tell you that the beating you're enduring is for your own good? If you believe them, you are likely to be living with adrenal fatigue and heightened forms of pervasive social anxiety. The relationship between anxiety and narcissistic abuse is real. Here is a list of anxiety disorders that are related to narcissistic abuse:

1. Agoraphobia: This is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and often avoid places or situations that might cause you to panic and make you feel trapped, helpless, or embarrassed.
2. Anxiety disorder due to a medical condition: This includes symptoms of intense anxiety or panic that are directly caused by a physical health problem.
3. Generalized anxiety disorder: This includes persistent and excessive anxiety and worries about activities or events, often occurring along with other anxiety disorders or depression.
4. Panic disorder: This involves repeated episodes of sudden feelings of intense anxiety and fear or terror that reach a peak within minutes (panic attacks).
5. Selective mutism: This is the consistent failure of children to speak in certain situations, such as school, which can interfere with school, work, and social functioning.
6. Separation anxiety disorder: This is a childhood disorder characterized by excessive anxiety related to separation from parents or others with parental roles.
7. Social anxiety disorder (social phobia): This involves high levels of anxiety, fear, and avoidance of social situations due to feelings of embarrassment, self-consciousness, and concern about being judged or viewed negatively by others.

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Asperger's and communication (part one)

When it comes to the symptoms of Aspergers disease, one area stands out above all others and that is communication. Taking things other people say literally for instance, coupled with not lying, even if it upsets others is because we give honest communication and expect it in return, even if we don't get it (mirroring). We are the little boy, who tells The Emperor that he is naked, not that he is wearing new clothes (not diplomatic).

Selective mutism occurs because we are not sure how to speak to outsiders (non family members). This also ties in with avoiding looking other people directly in the eye, so we don't engage with them, if we don't want to or staring straight at them, to give the impression we are 'normal,' which usually freaks them out more.

Wanting to 'fit in' can lead to over-rehearsed speech in our heads, which sounds cold and robotic. It can also lead to complex speech patterns (long winded / abstruse), aimed at impressing others. We can also miss emotional 'in your face' responses by others because social cues are missed. We can also jump in and interrupt conversations because we think what we have to say can't wait.

The autistic don't know how to speak properly, that is use verbal tools, so fail to moderate volume, tone, rate (speed) or rhythm: Think of setting up setting up amplifiers at a rock concert as well as coordinating a full orchestra or even tuning an individual instrument, in this case the human voice.

We are generally hypersensitive to reality but not always responsive to it: loud noise, bright lights, strong tastes and smells or rough / strange feeling textures can freak us out. Strong concentration may create the illusion that we are insensitive to pain, heat or cold etc but this is not the case, just that we ignore these conditions in our pursuit of our goals, becoming trance-like in such engagements of our attention (only our goals exist, not the outside world).

This severance from reality can lead to clumsiness as in me continually breaking glasses, when washing up (King Alfred burning the cakes because his attention was elsewhere).

We hate being hugged, getting patted on the head as adults do to children or people bumping into us and generally crowding our space, however we can do the same to others when we get caught up in the moment and forget they exist in turn.

Our obsessive interests can lead to self isolation, with little or no interaction with others (home loving / indifference to socialising). Like monks we cut ourselves off from the rest of the world, so that we can concentrate whole heartedly on the task in hand, with as little interruption and disruption to our routines and pursuits as possible (stable environment).

In my case this shows up in world war two tanks, the Daleks, Welsh castles (an English man's castle is his home), filling plastic eggs as a hobby and circling things in the TV guide I want to watch the following week. All these show the urge to contain or hold in / shut out outside influences or interference (defensive barriers or control points as exist within the body, a country's borders or creatures like insects and crabs that have an external skeleton).

I also create collages (mixtures of words and images) plus take photographs with my phone camera, which shows the visual orientation Temple Grandin, the autistic personality, talks about continually in her books and lectures. I have also created a series of books, eight in total, taking English apart and reconstructing it to display its patterns, in columns, which shows my obsession with language and another of our common traits (communication again and understanding words and phrases).

As we are 'Strangers in a strange land' as The Bible puts it, we have a terror of getting things wrong and standing out as outsiders (being ostracised, when we don't choose it). We blunder anyway, so this is not entirely unexpected as a result but like 'Zelig' in Woody Allen's film of the same name, we do our best to imitate those around us and fit in.

We are not compatible with the school system because we don't know how to behave and it doesn't stretch us (I hated it but fitted in better than many in my position, except when it came to maths. A certain teacher aimed questions at me, in front of the whole class, deliberately to humiliate me as he knew I couldn't answer them).

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Selective mutism and me

I’ve had selective mutism (sm) for pretty much as long as I can remember. Teachers were constantly convinced I couldn’t talk at all. I didn’t realize it was something I still struggled with until recently. This was because when you look up sm it mostly shows things pertaining to children who have it. It wasn’t until I looked deeper into it that I discovered it’s not something you always grow out of. Having sm and social anxiety together is like a nightmare. Any social situation feels impossible. I’m quickly labeled as the quiet one. Being at work can be torturous because I see my coworkers talking and laughing freely together like it’s nothing. I try and want so badly to join them but it feels like I just can’t. If someone even says “hi, how are you”? It’s like my whole body freezes up and I cannot physically open my mouth. Words float around in my head to say but my mouth just won’t open to let them out. I few trapped. And the hardest part is no one gets it. To them I’m just shy and quiet. It’s almost funny to them. I hear even from my own family jokes about how I never talk. I Can to them it makes no sense it should be easy but for me it feels impossible. I do want all of this to change though. I want to get better. I know it won’t happen over night though. I’ll admit it’s hard when it feels like any progress you’re making is too miniscule to even notice. But when I see the way others so freely socialize with one another I try to remember my goal.
Sorry that was long but please if you have similar experiences share them in the comments.
#MentalHealth
#Anxiety
#SocialAnxiety
#SelectiveMutism

(edited)
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