Coping Mechanisms, part 14R7@45alpha5 of an ongoing series ;D
Both before and after my various diagnoses, and, really, before I even had an inkling that my brain was wired differently from others, I had to come up with coping mechanisms. We all do, neurospicy or not. The world is not set up to ensure our safety or happiness on a regular basis, so we develop mechanisms for coping with both the good and the bad. (Let's set aside how we cope with good stuff for a moment, but I think it's a really important conversation.)
So, because I just need to share, because I'm an extrovert, and because the BPD "unclear sense of self" means that I am more me when I'm around, or communicating with, others than in a vacuum, I'm going to offer a few of the ways I deal with the difficulties of this condition.
I don't know where number 14R7@45alpha5 originally came from. My partner brought it home with her from work and it sounded silly, but I gave it a go and now it's my first thought. I call it "Tap Tap." You cross your arms in front of your body and start double-tapping each shoulder with the opposite hand. As with any kind of stimming, it may take a while to find the right rhythm, but once I do, and my brain starts concentrating on the rhythm, I break out into a huge grin, if not full-on laughter.
My understanding is that the stimulation of opposite sides by opposite sides helps the two hemispheres of the brain communicate a little better. There's also the mind-clearing effect of focus, much the same as concentrating on one's breathing during meditation.
Admittedly, it doesn't work for everyone. But it works for me, even when I am feeling my lowest. It may not make me smile at that point, but it keeps me from spiraling and ruminating into despair. A good friend pointed out to me about this practice that a lot of the time we're trained not to accept simple explanations. Things that are complex appear to be better-researched and more reliable. Tapping is easy. And it works. We don't need everything to be complicated.
So, "Tap Tap." Give it a go if you're feeling panicked, or teetering on the brink of one of those "everyone I ever loved is a bastard who never loved me" moods.