stimming

I've written before about how I was misdiagnosed as bipolar for a few decades, and the therapies and various prescription medicines never helped me. In fact, they nearly killed me.

In my last year on the meds, I got lithium toxicity, and was rushed to a trauma center a hundred miles from home, and spent a week in ICU. That was the autumn of 2021, and I am still recovering now in February 2023.

Yesterday I saw my third psychiatrist in a row who told me I had never been bipoloar, but I am Autistic. This time he put it all on paper, and entered it into my medical records. I guess that means it's official. Or maybe 'I' am official? Nah. I'm still just me.

I never had an inkling that I might be Autistic before sometime last summer, when I read a story in The Mighty by someone who found out accidentally that she was Autistic while she was having one of her children tested and assessed. When she described her life and her challenges, she sounded to me like she was describing my own life.

From that point onward, I started reading everything that I could get my hands on about the Autism Spectrum.

Then there were the internet tests, the books with tests, and finally talking to doctors and to Autistics.

Eventually, I was convinced beyond any reason of a doubt that I myself was, and am Autistic. Thereafter, I brought it up with my psychiatrist, and it took off from there.

That brings me back to yesterday, and the third psychiatrist to agree, and who added it into my medical record.

Now if I can get my General Practitioner to remove the bipolar label from my record there, I will feel like I can finally relax a little.

I don't have a problem with bipolar in itself. I just have a major problem with being misdiagnosed for decades and spending the bulk of my money on therapy and prescriptions that kept me physically exhausted and in a heavy mental fog for decades, and didn't help me in any way. I feel like the majority of my life was wasted.

So to have the label removed from my records is removing a constant painful reminder of all the life that I missed in my youth and middle age.

I am going to spend the rest of my years as a happy, grateful Autistic old dude. Peace be with you all.
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#Autistic #actuallyautistic #audhd #ADHD #Autism #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #AutismAcceptance #Stimming #Dysgraphia #dyscalcula #pathologicaldemandavoidance #PDA #AutisticInertia #AutisticBurnout
#EFD #ExecutiveFunctionDisorder #executivedysfunction #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD
#ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #rad #MajorDepressiveDisorder #MDD #Dysthymia #Specialinterest
#Hyperfocus #hypervigilant #SensoryOverstimulation #SensoryIssues #SensoryPain

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Hi. I am seriously interested in getting an assessment for ‘Autism,’ or ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’ for Adults. I am over 60, and I don't need it to qualify for any kind of help or benefits at my age. I just need to know, so I can answer a thousand personal questions about myself. It's for my peace of mind, but it also has the advantage of being useful family medical information that I can pass along to my kids and grandkids.

I have a ton of different diagnoses from as many doctors and therapists from over the course of my life. So many of these diagnoses have some of the same symptoms, and so many of the diagnoses seem to battle with others for ‘dominance’, that I don't know what to believe anymore. One doctor will say he's certain I have one thing, and five years later another will say he doesn't agree, and says it's something different. Meanwhile, both of them put me on medications for those things, and the second one is basically telling me I just wasted 5 years of prescriptions and therapy designed for the first thing. Not once, not twice, but many, many times I have gone through this.

Because of all of that, I currently have a bushel of diagnoses that are supposedly correct and current, and a ton of prescriptions to go along with them. And I don't have the confidence that any of them are correct, like I so easily assumed when I was younger. Do you see my frustration?

From my reading in the last few months, I have seen my traits (i.e. symptoms) and my thought patterns and thought processes turn up time and again under the detailed descriptions of Autism and Autism Spectrum Disorder. If that were found to be true, it would settle my mind, and it would give me something that I lost long ago, and assumed I would never see again: Hope. It would make such a difference if I could be able to focus on one true diagnosis instead of a jillion competing diagnoses. I could work on learning coping skills and workarounds for one thing. One.

So, I need to find a doctor or a therapist who assesses for ‘Autism’ or ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’ IN ADULTS  in the:
1.               western half of NC, or
2.               southwest area of VA, or
3.               eastern part of TN.
(A little outside of those areas could work, too, if they are good.) ***I have been told that “the MIGDAS-2 assessment” works better for those of us who have been masking for many years. What are your thoughts?

I do appreciate you reading this far. I know that it was long. If you can help me find someone, please let me know. Thank you for your time.  I wish you Peace, and Joy, and excellent Health.  ♧
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#Autism #Depression #Anxiety #PathologicalDemandAvoidanceSyndrome
#ReactiveAttachmentDisorder #SocialAnxiety
#MajorDepressiveDisorder
#Bipolar2Disorder
#BipolarDepression #TreatmentresistantDepression #CombinedPresentationADHD #ADHD #AspergersSyndrome #AutisticAdults #Autistic
#Hypervigilance #Hyperfocus #silent #EyeContact #Stimming #Suicide #PTSD #CPTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
#BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors #BFRBAwarenessWeek #Parentification #Abuse #neglect #Insomnia #DermatiIlomania

Whenever I am watching TV or movies, anything except comedy, I continually hum, and have done so all my life. Sometimes I hum an actual tune, but in the vast majority of the time, I hum  just 2 or 3 random notes, which I will repeat for really long periods of time. Sometimes it is in unison with a main note in the background music, or a harmony,  but most times the notes have nothing to do with the music soundtrack. As you can imagine, it distracts and irritates other people to varying degrees. My solution, since I haven't been able to stop it, is just to watch alone. If you still don't understand what I am talking about, imagine sitting next to someone humming the cello notes to the theme from JAWS while you are trying to concentrate on an episode of The Gilmore Girls, or Dateline, or Law & Order.  I've done this my whole life, and it soothes me while at the same time it embarrasses me because I can't stop without starting up again a couple of minutes later, usually unbeknownst to me. I'm not actually looking for a cure for this. I just want to know if I am the only one, and does anybody know why I might do it, or where it comes from? Thanks for your time. Peace.♧

#Humming #ADHD #CPTSD #DistractMe #Anxiety #hums #BipolarDisorder #Bipolar2Disorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Autism #Aspergers #PervasiveDevelopmentalDisorders #ASD #AutismSpectrumDisorders #Stimming #stim #BodyFocusedRepetitiveBehaviors #BFRBAwarenessWeek #ADHD #CombinedPresentationADHD #noise #Music #Selfsoothing #Soothing #Calming #Depression #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #distraction #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #obsess #obssess #Singing #ThroatSinging #noise #Movies #TV #Drama #Fidgety #restless    #DisruptiveImpulseControlAndConductDisorders #impulsive #compulsion #Habit #habitual #Misophonia #

If you have an autistic child instead of asking them how was their day try asking them how did people make them feel, when I was a child in school a teacher choked me I didn’t know it was wrong but I knew I didn’t like how it made me feel if my friend didn’t tell my dad my parents wouldn’t have known

This may not help everyone depending on the child & how they communicate their feelings but hopefully it can help someone me myself didn’t know right from wrong #Autism #Autistic #AutismAwareness #AutismAcceptance #Sensory #Stimming

Twisty Petz make great stim toys, or so I've found.