I did it. I took a shower…
I’d of never ever thought I’d be where I’m at today. Where showering is such a victory.
7 months ago I was the woman who held a full time job, paid my bills and raised two children on my own and we lived in a home that I worked very hard to buy. Life is what we make it right?? So I made sure to make it the best I possibly could and I was happy. I remember waking up eager to start a new day each morning. I remember the feeling of satisfaction and love each night as I tucked my kids into bed. My life wasn’t perfect but we were very blessed. Sure there were bumps in the road but I overcame every obstacle that came my way. As a teenager I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and unfortunately they reared their ugly heads from time to time when things got tough, but I knew the protocol and how to care for myself during those times. I’d rest and give myself extra self love and care and things would return to normal.
Then in August my life flipped completely upside down as I slowly begin to enter my first “depressive episode”. Fast forward 7 months to today and I’m STILL here… engulfed in the darkness. My coping mechanisms no longer work and I can’t just jump back to normal like in the past. However, today I managed a shower. I hadn’t had one in over a week and I stayed in there for an hour trying to scrub the depression away. I can only wish it worked that way… but I’m proud of myself. I did it. I tried all week but today I made it happen. It’s the small victories that lead to bigger ones. I took a shower and I’m exhausted.