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Can I please just have ONE good day without something or someone stressing me out?! One?! God, this week has been shit. And what’s coming up this weekend isn’t going to make it any better. God, I hate weekends.
If this keeps up, I’m just better off dead honestly because I’m so fucking sick of this crap.
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Because my answer is still no. And this is definitely not the first time this happened.
She always claims that she would never hit or kick our cat (the one in my pfp) in a hurtful or painful way, and therefore claims that she has not done anything wrong. However, I feel like lightly tapping her to shoo away from the door still counts. I told her to never do it again and to not let me see it, (I even offered a spray bottle and told her to not spray it directly at her!!), but she still claims that she hasn’t done anything wrong and says to not make her seem like she’s hurting out cat or her kids in any way. I don’t care however because she’s still a freaking cat. I just think that hitting cats in general are just wrong.
Am I being over dramatic?? Is it my autism just making things seem worse than it is?? Either way, I’m so sick of her ignoring my wants or even triggers because she claims that she “hasn’t done anything wrong” 😡😡😡 If it is wrong (because I’m very sure in my end), can y’all send links about it so that I can at least convince her?
I’m starting to wonder if that’s the reason why our cat likes to run out the front door when it’s opened (the same point yesterday where my sister “lightly tapped” her).
Hm. I tried to post a blog entry and I didn't realize that the things popping up on the main feed here are thoughts. I ended up posting a story. -_-
Anyway TLDR: I moved from Asia to NYC. I really expected a lot. I thought it's gonna be a blast with a chill workplace, and fun roommates, and roadtrips during the weekends. How wrong I was.
Now I hate it (adulting, having to work, and loneliness because i'm away from main support network).
But I'm not sure what to do. I really want to move home but I'm stuck in a yearlong program for school credits. If i back out I have to pay them back $ and end up having to redo whatever I'm doing here (internship).
The other alternative is to make a change so i won't be miserable for the next 6 months right? But i'm not sure what.
I'm an avoider by nature. So i always think of making my life easier. Should I move out of my current apt? I live an hour away from Manhattan and I dislike the commute (esp in peak hour, lets just say my privilleged lifestyle in my home country doesn't need me to do this. Because I live near the city center, and even though my college isn't there, i pick classes during OFF PEAK HOURS to avoid this problem). But i don't know how the heck to move my stuff over to another apartment and how much it's gonna cost.. (A bed, a table from IKEA actually.)
I also dislike my job a little, I like the work that i don't fall asleep during work. But I don't like how I thought they would be more chill and it isn't the case. I get told off for 'little things' in my opinion.I guess it's also cos of my expectations from my other friends internship in the same industry. It doesnt help when im mentally in a bad state and i tried being open about my mental / emotional issues too..
I’m having one of the days when I’m just feeling completely empty and lost. I took a day off college cause I didn’t feel like going and didn’t want to waste money on transport. I have zero motivation to do college work and assignments when there’s a lot of them. Normally i go for walks to clear my head but don’t feel like doing it. I am just tired of my boring, monotone routine and not sure what i want. I’m so empty inside atm that I don’t know if I’m sad or feel like i need to scream or just punch something, i just feel calm yet really really down and.. kind of hopeless. I know it’ll pass, always does sometimes but just needed someplace to vent. Just laying in bed listening to music and waiting for it to be time for sleep.. #depressed #empty #lonely #stuckinmyhead #sickofit
I am SO sick of people telling me that "friends are the family we choose" because at the holidays my friends all go hang out with their FAMILIES!!! I had a small but good family but everyone I was close to died. The holidays are rough on me.........
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