Hm. I tried to post a blog entry and I didn't realize that the things popping up on the main feed here are thoughts. I ended up posting a story. -_-
Anyway TLDR: I moved from Asia to NYC. I really expected a lot. I thought it's gonna be a blast with a chill workplace, and fun roommates, and roadtrips during the weekends. How wrong I was.
Now I hate it (adulting, having to work, and loneliness because i'm away from main support network).
But I'm not sure what to do. I really want to move home but I'm stuck in a yearlong program for school credits. If i back out I have to pay them back $ and end up having to redo whatever I'm doing here (internship).
The other alternative is to make a change so i won't be miserable for the next 6 months right? But i'm not sure what.
I'm an avoider by nature. So i always think of making my life easier. Should I move out of my current apt? I live an hour away from Manhattan and I dislike the commute (esp in peak hour, lets just say my privilleged lifestyle in my home country doesn't need me to do this. Because I live near the city center, and even though my college isn't there, i pick classes during OFF PEAK HOURS to avoid this problem). But i don't know how the heck to move my stuff over to another apartment and how much it's gonna cost.. (A bed, a table from IKEA actually.)
I also dislike my job a little, I like the work that i don't fall asleep during work. But I don't like how I thought they would be more chill and it isn't the case. I get told off for 'little things' in my opinion.I guess it's also cos of my expectations from my other friends internship in the same industry. It doesnt help when im mentally in a bad state and i tried being open about my mental / emotional issues too..
#Anxiety #sickofit #Depression