Stammering

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The Worrier promotes your fears that what is happening is dangerous or embarrassing(“What if I have a heart attack?!” “What will they think if they see me?!”).

In short, the Worrier’s dominant tendencies include

1) anticipating the worst,

2) overestimating the odds of something bad or embarrassing

happening,

3) creating grandiose images of potential failure or catastrophe.

The Worrier is always vigilant, watching with uneasy apprehension for any small symptoms or signs of trouble.

Favorite expression: By far the favorite expression of the Worrier is “what if …?”.

Examples:

Some typical dialogue from the Worrier might be: “Oh no, my heart’s starting to beat faster! What if I panic and lose complete control of myself?”

⦁ “What if I start #Stammering in the middle of my speech?”

⦁ “What if they see me shaking?”

⦁ “What if I’m alone and there’s nobody to call?”

⦁ “What if I just can’t get over this #Phobia ?” or

⦁ “What if I’m restricted from going to work for the rest of my life?”

The Critic (promotes low self-esteem)

Characteristics: The Critic is that part of you that is constantly judging and evaluating your behavior (and in this sense may seem more “apart” from you than the other subpersonalities).

It tends to point out your flaws and limitations whenever possible. It jumps on any mistake you make to remind you that you’re a failure. The Critic generates #Anxiety by putting you down for not being able to handle your panic symptoms, for not being able to go places you used to go, for being unable to perform at your best, or for having to be dependent on someone else.

It also likes to compare you with others and usually sees them coming out favorably. It tends to ignore your positive qualities and emphasizes your weaknesses and inadequacies.

The Critic may be personified in your own dialogue as the voice of your mother or father, a dreaded teacher, or anyone who wounded you in the past with their criticism.

Favorite expressions: “What a disappointment you are!” “That was stupid!”

Examples: The following would be typical of the Critic’s self-talk: “You stupid …” (The Critic relishes negative labels.) “Can’t you ever get it right?” “Why are you always this way?” “Look at how capable _ is,” or “You could have done better.”

The Critic holds negative self-beliefs, such as “I’m inferior to others,” “I’m not worth much,” “There’s something inherently wrong with me,” or “I’m weak—I should be stronger.”

The Victim (promotes #Depression )

Characteristics: The Victim is that part of you that feels helpless or hopeless. It generates #Anxiety by telling you that you’re not making any progress, that your condition is incurable, or that the road is too long and steep for you to have a real chance at recovering.

The Victim also plays a major role in creating #Depression . The Victim believes that there is something inherently wrong with you: you are in some way deprived, defective, or unworthy. The Victim always perceives insurmountable obstacles between you and your goals.

Characteristically, it be moans, complains, and regrets things as they are at present. It believes that nothing will ever change.

Favorite expressions: “I can’t.” “I’ll never be able to.”

Examples: The Victim will say such things as “I’ll never be able to do that, so what’s the point in even trying?” “I feel physically drained today—why bother doing anything?” “Maybe I could have done it if I’d had more initiative ten years ago—but it’s too late now.”

The Victim holds such negative self-beliefs as “I’m hopeless,” “I’ve had this problem too long—it will never get better,” or “I’ve tried everything—nothing is ever going to work.”

The Perfectionist (promotes chronic stress and burnout)

Characteristics: The Perfectionist is a close cousin of the Critic, but its concern is less to put you down than to push and goad you to do better.

It generates #Anxiety by constantly telling you that your efforts aren’t good enough, that you should be working harder, that you should always have everything under control, should always be competent, should always be pleasing, should always be (fill in whatever you keep telling yourself that you “should” do or be).

The Perfectionist is the hard- driving part of you that wants to be best and is intolerant of mistakes or

Part 4 of 4 ive, supportive mental habits. Bear in mind that the acquisition of positive mental habits takes the same persistence and practice required for learning new behaviors

Thank you to our mighty leader for supporting me in sharing this. Writing has helped to comfort me and cope with depression, anxiety, grief, and loneliness. I live alone now (with three cats) and do my best to stay in touch with people. I have lost a lot of special people in my life and have grieved a lot of different kinds of losses (job loss for example). I find myself overwhelmed with emotions a lot. Writing has helped. I write for friends, family, coworkers, and others who have touched my life. I wrote this for a classmate from high school.

Sweet Speechlessness
For C

I remember the day in fifth grade that she came to visit our elementary school with her family. Our teacher, Mrs. H., stepped outside of the classroom to meet her and her parents. All of us, boys that is, ran up to the narrow window beside the classroom door to see her. She was like kryptonite to our cool overconfidence, the inspiration for that flutter in our chests, and the talk of the table at lunch that day. My parents were quite amazed by my newfound interest in personal grooming as well as my desire to get to school earlier than I had before—not that I had extreme struggles with either.

In hindsight, I realized that she inspired my trust in the belief that cute, kind, and sincere could all exist within a person at one time. She was equally accepting of everyone and just as, if not more so, kind. And, though I don’t remember exactly which year it was, I remember a school dance where she asked me to dance. Senior prom maybe? Talk about honored, shy, and giddy all at once. C’est tres bon of course! And, speaking of French, what a champion of another’s romantic hopes and dreams! C was always supportive of my romantic aspirations that I shared in our French class. Whether I succeed or not, her appreciation for what I shared with the class kept me from not giving up.

If the person I was then was sharing this now, I’m sure his ears would be red, he would be stammering in his speech, and his shy eyes would be fixed to the ground. But, so many experiences have taught me that life is too short to be so shy and reserved—especially when it comes to gratitude for one’s kindness. So, thank you C for being that advocate that pulls that shy and giddy child in all of us to the front of the class, though not standing alone, and inspiring a sense of meaning in all of us.

Thank you for allowing me to share this.

Have you ever stood before stood before pharmacy counter, hands shaking, body slightly trembling, head aching? Waiting to see if they will even refill the prescription your psychiatrist just wrote you? Seconds ticking by on the clock, stammering, trying to explain the necessity of your medication, made to feel like an addict that is itchin' to get their fix? I have.

It’s the worst feeling in the world. You’ve spent years fighting for your sanity and now you are made to feel like someone trying to close a drug deal.
Looking over your shoulder, nervously waiting to see if the script will go through and when it doesn’t.. the devastation that fills every cell of your body, your heart hits the floor. Don’t they know you need your medication? And why are they making it so hard to obtain?

No. I am not insane. But your rejection and refusal to fill my medication makes me feel as though I might as well be.