brain fog

Did not want to post yesterday due to the emotional levels and wanting all the dads, grandads, stepdads etc to have a good father's day. It was 5 years ago this time that I last physically saw my own late father, who passed roughly two weeks later, on the 1st of July. I have, for the past four years been under the care of an exquisite trauma specialist therapist, however he is no longer even answering a text (he switched to private practice while still working at the VA) to schedule an appointment to work through everything.
My job unfortunately, and a couple other situations I won't go into, have reopened emotional and mental wounds that my therapist had healed and I am a walking nerve cluster which causes depression, anxiety and brain fog. All of these combined cause me to forget and sometimes even when I wake up I don't know where I am until I turn and see my husband, asleep and peacefully dreaming.
I listen to music, or audio books/story podcasts, use mostly frankincense essential body oil, light incense and candles when I am off or getting ready since I wake up early (even though I work from 2pm to 10pm most days I work, I'm up between 7 and 8 am), to help me remember to feel or to take my mind off of what I'm feeling and ground me.
The brain fog, depression anxiety combination also makes my ability, not to mention my physical disability, to my job and duties difficult if not impossible. I forget where things that are important to myself, my employer or coworkers constantly when this happens. This is when the music, essential oils, my husband's cologne, and audio stories help me right now.
I am also constantly meditating, sometimes I'm almost halfway in a meditative state just to get through. Meditation has proven to be invaluable also when I an winding down at night, and I am able to finally calm my mind.
We'll see what happens when the new insurance comes in from work. Which has a therapy app that's completely covered. So goal is to get into therapy by the end of July, beginning of August.
#MentalHealth #BrainFog #ChronicDepression #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #PTSD #Anxiety

I had a really bad shift last night. I work in postpartum nursing and it was a really busy night. Lots of babies born and ppl in labor. I just couldn't get going. My executive functioning skills were MIA. My brainfog was so bad I felt kind of dissociated from everything going on. Not actual disassociation, just rly rly bad brain fog. I was completely off, like my instincts and knowledge were all jumbled. Didn't get a lot done and then the next girl who came on for night shift was rly upset w me bc she thought i hadn't done anything. I took my adderall and had caffeine but just couldn't get my brain on. This morning, I'm still exchausted & rly foggy. Im so sick of this.

#BrainFog
When I read about aphasia, it sounded somewhat like my brain fog. I understand what people are saying but if I am tired I can’t come up with a response. It’s frustrating.

I am 42 yrs old. I was 17 since I had weird symptoms periods and no periods. Extreme cramping, mood swings and No answers. Heavily fluctuating weight and no pregnancy even though I tried I was married then. I went to doctors and many years til I was in my mid twenties. Then moved to Florida had no health care. Then after Obama care passed finally able to get in 2016 health care. Well started doing the exams and test I needed. Found I had a goiter, cold nodules and starting to put pressure on trachea. So then six months find I have hashimoto's thyroiditis. Can't sleep or breathe well. Then in another six months goiter tripled three times size had to have surgery well my original surgeon retires so after him see second surgeon. Then surgery finally got scheduled I was 38 yrs old at this point. Had surgery and been having complications treating thyroid levels right because first endocrinologist didn't treat it right. Developed Chronic fatigue syndrome plus burning sensation in different parts of body due to TSH. Then after that was following up with my female health come to find out my complaints since 17 came to a head at 38. I found out I had Poly Cystic ovarian syndrome plus Adenomyosis. I wasn't crazy or exaggerating. When doctors for years said they couldn't find what was wrong. Well my insulin resistance and type 2 diabetes diagnosis and high cholesterol were all explained due to my Pcos. So my uterus was at a whopping 11.2cm big. Three times a normal uterus size. I wasn't menstruating and was 40 could barely do day to day duties. Walking, moving my hip and insides felt like they were gonna fall out incredible pain. Being a massage therapist I had to cut back hours and a day because my body couldn't. Went to a reproductive endocrinologist instead of a gynecologist because my gynecologist said they would have to slice me in half and tale uterus out. And I didn't want three months off. So I saw reproductive end and he heard my sordid story of how many years I been suffering and felt bad. He then referred me to next doctor a surgeon and I had my partial hysterectomy. Now after surgery got checked out and sent on my way all normal. Then started exhibiting high estrogen dominance and high testosterone both free and total. And here we are. Now I am in perimenopause and a third endocrinologist and still getting answers slowly. Not very happy but trying to lose weight and live life. #Hypothyroidism #PCOS #Perimenopause #CFS #Insomnia #BrainFog