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The New Normal

This week has been a full amount of annoyances. Between pushing to get xrays read, dealing with finding specialists that take my insurance and watching Healow for my referrals it's been enough to get frustrated by.

Constant pain in my hands as someone who loves to be creative has been frustrating. I can't sew or knit during my D&D games because I hurt so badly. The skirt that usually would've taken a day and a half tops to get done has taken over a week.

In addition, my normally three to four days a week part time this week has stretched to a full five days, tomorrow being the last and by the time I get home I'm seriously dragging and there's no ability for takeout because most of it will make me sicker (and I live with my disabled brother and he's going to have all sorts of cooking issues) - tonight was leftover soup from last night which wasn't bad anyway.

I'm tired. I want to know what's wrong so I know how to treat it. I have been moving my right pinkie upper joint back into place several times this week. My hands ache, my feet feel like they're being stabbed and the pain radiates from there. The Rheumatologist office hasn't called from the referral yet. And I'm pretty sure my poor GP is going to get tired of my requesting specific referrals but then again who knows. I like her. She's not prepped to deal with a zebra that she ended up with.

I got the skirt done, the carefully hand done buttonhole I adore making hurt. and it's not as good as what I like to see. But it's done. I don't want to give up those sorts of crafts.

I guess I'm just exhausted and frustrated.

#posturalorthostatictachycardia #Fibromyalgia #waitingfordiagnosis #Depression #ChronicPain #thenewnormal

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I’m new here, but not new to the feeling 💜

Hey everyone, just wanted to say hey, and see how everyone is doing..I know there are good days and bad, but It’s nice to know we can be here for each other and don’t have to listen to anyone say that they don’t know how to help. When all that is wanted is for someone to actually listen, be there, support, and comfort you.… I’m 24, my friends and family normally called me the CEO of goofiness, but as of 3 years ago, they (or what is left of them) call me the queen of chronic illness. Personally I liked the CEO of goofiness a lot better. But I miss that me, ya know? I try to be her.. but the new me always takes over. It’s a lot some days, and others I fight till there is literally nothing left.. when it all started I came up with a new hashtag and even created a Facebook page but I no longer use Facebook because it was a lot on my mental health. The New Normal I called it. Because that’s what this is, there is no… going back.. only forward.. sorry to talk your ears off.. I’ll let you get back to your day. Just know you’re cared for, you’re more than enough, don’t ever let it tell you otherwise… if you’re just entering The New Normal, or you’ve been here a while… thanks for coming.
#thenewnormal #chronicilness #ChronicPain #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #Endometriosis #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #notalone #ChronicMigraineSyndrome #ChronicFatigue #earlymenopause

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Letting go of who I was before trauma

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, how I’ve been desperately trying to hold on to who I was six months ago, before I was sexually assaulted again. I was also sexually abused as a child, and I’ve tortured myself over wondering who I would have been if I had been saddled with trauma.

But today I was thinking that I am who I am, and that I need to let go of who I was before and embrace the new normal. Besides, normal isn’t a real thing, outside of washing machines. And I think that trying so hard to hold onto the me I was just six months ago has taken a major toll on my health. That person is gone. But that doesn’t mean that this person who has survived can’t be awesome.

I’m still angry, and I know I can’t rush the processing of the trauma, but I can let this part go, and be ok with not being ok right now. Acceptance is hard, and I know I’ll still have my moments, but it’ll get easier with time. Besides, changing doesn’t come without growing pains. I just hope it stops hurting so much sooner rather than later. #PTSD #Trauma #thenewnormal #letgo


began a migraine preventative

began Propanolol a few days ago, to prevent these constant migraines. Feeling strange, then realized I have no head pain, unsure if the strangeness is a side effect or just the absence of migraine symptoms feels almost abnormal now. I'm so grateful this is working. Hope it continues to keep them at bay and the oddness fades. #thenewnormal