I wrote this like 5 years ago, after I decided to ended my 6 years of a very complicated relationship. I do have a background as a substance abuser and so does my partner at that time. Both have a mentally issued, we both still married at that time (yes, it was an affair) but my justification is I already separated with my wife from 2010 and still we haven't divorce. At that time, I didn't know that I had several health issues, such as autoimmune (SLE), bipolar mood disorder, etc. And it made things worse, because my partner accused me using heroin again. The withdrawal symptoms of heroin kinda similar with my SLE symptoms. When she became angry, she was very abusive, physically and mentally. I've been stabbed from the back with her (literally), which punctured my right lung, so by the time I came to the hospital, my left lung was full of blood, I had to go under major surgery. And finally I came to the moment that "enough is enough". I had enough "drama" in my life, so I decided to left her. The interesting part is when we broke up, we actually move to the same city. We both used to live in Jakarta, Indonesia and then moved to Bali, Indonesia. We still bumped with each other several times but that's it. She already moved on and so did I. The difference is she has another partner now (she's still not divorce yet) but I choose not to have a relationship again. For my opinion, it will "drained" my energy. Thankfully, I enjoy my solitude. And I'm grateful right now. For me and for her.